Funny quotes said

Funny said quotes

It’s not my fault that when I said you looked “stunning” you assumed I meant in a positive way.

1 day ago

Lost another rap battle by just agreeing with everything the other guy said.

3 days ago

Told my homie I was “going through it” and he just said “go around it”.

3 days ago

Don’t worry, nobody noticed the weird thing you did. They’re too busy with the weird thing you said.

4 weeks ago

Husband said he only wants to allow our kids to watch Looney Tunes and nothing else because of the “moral lessons”.

4 weeks ago

My wife asked me why the bottle of wine we bought yesterday was half empty. I said because she is a pessimist.

1 month ago

I saw someone wearing a shirt today that said “Eat Pasta Run Fasta,” and I can’t get it out of my head.

1 month ago

The hottest thing a man can do is exactly what he said he was going to.

2 months ago