Commentary:
Boy, time flies when you're having fun! Can't believe I missed my 229th birthday bash. 🎉🧓🗼
93 Funny said quotes
Handing over my ID at the post office. The clerk said, “You’ve aged quite a bit since this photo was taken.” I said, “Yes, I had it taken just before I joined this queue.”
My psych professor asked if we’d heard of Pavlov. I said, “It rings a bell.” No one laughed; I’m too witty for this class.
My toddler asked if we could go to the zoo today, and I said, “I can’t see that happening.” Then she literally left the room and came back with my glasses.
The bank just called and gave me the biggest compliment, said my balance is outstanding. I really needed that today.
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My teen believed the washing machine when it said it only had one minute left, and oh, how I laughed and laughed.
Hotel elevators are hell for those of us who are small-talk failures. The guy asked me, “You just get in today too?” and I said, “Well, no,” then stood in silence.
One day you said w00t for the last time, and didn’t even realize.
I once made a joke to a coworker, and she said, “It was the funniest thing I ever said,” and suggested I post it. It got 10 likes.
