101 Funny said quotes

• (While my wife opens up her Christmas present) Remember when you said we needed milk?

  ---

  0

  2 days ago

  Christmas, Christmas present, gift, gift opening, humor, milk, opening, present, remember, said, while, wife

• I met the real Santa tonight, and he said you’re all in trouble.

  ---

  0

  2 weeks ago

  Christmas, humor, i, meeting, met, real, said, Santa, tonight, trouble, warning

• My superpower? I can look you dead in the face while you’re talking and not hear a damn word you said.

  ---

  0

  3 weeks ago

  communication, dead, distraction, face, hear, humor, i, listening, said, sarcasm, stare, superpower, talking, while, word

• My husband said it would be easier if we had a Christmas house that we moved into in December, instead of taking all these decorations out.

  ---

  0

  3 weeks ago

  Christmas, December, decoration, decorations, easier, family, family life, holiday, house, humor, husband, life, moved, moving, said, taking

• Accidentally said “normal” when they asked what milk I wanted at the leftist cafe.

  ---

  0

  4 weeks ago

  accident, accidentally, asked, cafe, humor, i, interaction, leftist, milk, normal, said, social, social interaction, speech, wanted

• Can’t wait to overuse the “My husband said,” “Let me phone my husband,” “I’ll ask my husband.”

  ---

  0

  4 weeks ago

  ask, call, communication, humor, husband, let, me, overuse, phone, phone call, phrase, relationship, said, wait

• Me rereading his texts after we’ve already said goodnight just so I can giggle and blush all over again.

  ---

  0

  1 month ago

  after, again, blush, cute, cute moment, giggle, goodnight, i, just, late, late night, love, me, message, moment, night, over, reread, romance, said, text, texts

• Sorry about all of the correct stuff I said when I was right.

  ---

  0

  1 month ago

  apology, being, being right, correct, correctness, humor, i, right, said, sarcasm, sorry, stuff

• A delivery driver just asked for my date of birth. I said, “94.” He replied, “Is that 1994?” Oh, sorry mate, no. My bad, that was 1794. Right around the French Revolution.

  ---

  0

  1 month ago

  1794, 1994, around, asked, bad, birth, date, date of birth, delivery, delivery driver, driver, french, French Revolution, historical, historical joke, humor, i, joke, just, mate, misunderstanding, oh, revolution, right, said, sorry

• Handing over my ID at the post office. The clerk said, “You’ve aged quite a bit since this photo was taken.” I said, “Yes, I had it taken just before I joined this queue.”

  ---

  0

  1 month ago

  aging, before, bit, clerk, humor, i, ID, interaction, joke, just, office, over, photo, post, post office, queue, said, taken, yes

All funny said quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌