104 Funny said quotes

• I’m sorry for the things I said when there were too many noises at the same time.

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  3 hours ago

  apology, communication, distraction, frustration, humor, i, misunderstanding, multitasking, noise, noises, said, same, sorry, things, time, too

• I once quit a job, and when my boss asked why, I simply said, “I hate it here.” Best day of my life.

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  5 hours ago

  asked, best, best day, boss, day, hate, here, i, job, life, once, quit, quit job, resignation, said, simply, why, work

• Was in a bookshop and asked a worker if he could recommend books to me. He said, ‘Sure, they’re great.’

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  6 hours ago

  asked, book, books, bookshop, conversation, great, humor, joke, me, misunderstanding, recommend, recommendation, said, sure, worker

• They said, “Enjoy your money because life is short.” Now my money is finished, but I’m still alive.

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  7 hours ago

  alive, enjoy, financial, financial joke, finished, humor, joke, life, money, said, short, short life, spending, still, survival

• Doctor said I am terminally chill.

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  8 hours ago

  am, chill, doctor, humor, i, joke, medical, medical joke, relaxation, said, terminal

• My therapist said this to me, and it hit me like a brick: “They’re not your friends if they disagree with you or try to challenge you.”

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  8 hours ago

  challenge, disagree, disagreement, friend, friends, hit, humor, me, said, therapist, try

• Ordered a coffee, and the barista said, “Anything else?” and I almost said, “Stability.”

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  8 hours ago

  almost, anything, awkward, awkward moment, barista, coffee, else, humor, i, moment, order, said, stability

• I love when people find out I meant every word I said.

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  9 hours ago

  attitude, communication, every, honesty, humor, i, love, meant, people, said, sarcasm, statement, truth, word

• The older I get, the more I respect Sleeping Beauty. She took one look at the world and said, “Nah.”

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  12 hours ago

  beauty, i, older, respect, said, sleeping, Sleeping Beauty, world

• I don’t care if I’m standing in the window, if I said I ain’t home, I ain’t home.

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  13 hours ago

  care, denial, home, honesty, humor, i, lying, said, standing, stubbornness, window

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