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19 Funny sarcastic quotes

Trending Funny Sarcastic Quotes 🔥

I don’t even know what I’d do if a sailor called me a landlubber. I’d probably lose my cool.
Landlord: I’m raising your rent. Me: Am I getting a bigger house?
If I had a boyfriend, I’d watch him dig a hole at the beach and be like, “Wowww, baby, good job. That’s a beautiful hole.
When I’m behind a slow car, I steer my car a little to the right so the people behind me can see that it isn’t my fault.
Stretching my back isn’t enough; I need to take out my spine and wring it out like a towel.

More funny sarcastic quotes 👇

1 month ago
Share →: If this meeting were any slower, it’d be a landscape painting.

Commentary:
"Just waiting for Bob Ross to pop up and start narrating! 🌲🖌️😴"
1 month ago
Share →: Whoever has my voodoo doll, can you give it a really good massage?

Commentary:
"Please add some hot stones and cucumbers to the mix! My back has been hurting since 2019! 😂🪄✨"
1 month ago
Share →: Can’t, I’m pulling it together.

Commentary:
"BRB, busy using duct tape and coffee! ☕️😂 #LifeInProgress"
2 months ago
Share →: When I say “the other day”, it can be anytime between yesterday and my birth.

Commentary:
Ah, the infamous "other day" — basically the RSVP of time references! 🎉🗓️ It's like saying "soon" or "let’s do it sometime," which really means "whenever I remember or feel like it." 😂 So next time someone drops the "other day" bomb, just prepare for a timeline that stretches from yesterday to the dawn of humanity! 🕰️⏳ Talk about a flexible schedule!
3 months ago
Share →: Good morning, dickhead, your little ray of sarcastic sunshine has arrived.

Commentary:
"Good morning, you charismatic cynic!🌞😜 May your day be as bright and sassy as your sarcasm!😏 #SarcasmGoals"
5 months ago
Share →: Holding back your sarcastic replies takes a lot of inner strength.

Commentary:
Resisting the urge to let those zingers fly is basically a full-body workout for your self-control muscles! 💪😂 Remember, sarcasm is just one more service we offer here at the "Snarky Comments Gym." Keep flexing those inner strength muscles, champ! 💬🏋️‍♂️
5 months ago
Share →: I’d tell you to go to hell, but I work there and I don’t want to see you every day.

Commentary:
Well, it looks like this person already has enough stress at work without adding you to the mix! 😂🔥 Looks like you'll need to find another destination for your unwanted company! 🌍🚫 #WorkplaceDrama
5 months ago
Share →: Turns out that ending meetings with “have the day you deserve” has made me some enemies at work.

Commentary:
Looks like wishing for the day your colleagues actually deserve might not always be appreciated! 🤣 Maybe a simple "Have a great day" could save you from making enemies at work. Lesson learned! 😉 #OfficeHumor
5 months ago
Share →: Why insult someone when you can say something nice in a very sarcastic tone?

Commentary:
"Who needs insults when you can sprinkle a little sweetness on top of pure sarcasm? 🍬😏 It's like giving a backhanded compliment wrapped in a warm hug. 😜😇 Let's keep 'em guessing with our perfectly blended sincerity and sarcasm – the ultimate playful combo! 🤭💁‍♂️"