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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇲🇦 has shared:

Life is like bread. It gets hard at some point.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has copied:

I identify as a weather forecast: Anything’s possible.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has downloaded:

Having a low quality camera will definitely force you to keep your life private.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has bookmarked:

One day you’re young and fun and the next you’re excited about your organized fridge.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has viewed:

My cat, who has no job and pays no rent, is apparently unhappy with his fancy new cat food, and I, for some reason, am currently on my way back to the store to rectify the matter.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has downloaded:

We got our carpet cleaned today, so I’m just waiting for the dog to throw up.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has viewed:

My toxic trait is optimism.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has downloaded:

People are too casual about the fact that parrots can talk.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has copied:

I’ve surpassed the need for coffee, for I have evolved into a higher state of awesome.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has shared:

Age is just a number… that now takes a really long time to scroll to.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

818 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,980

Funny Quotes Topics

13,922

Funny Quotes Images

10,980

Updated

28 minutes ago

Users Online

3,424

Social Media Log 💫

Reported on Telegram:

Sorry, can’t. I took my bra off and threw it across the room an hour ago. There’s no coming back from that.

Making waves on Twitch:

Very disappointed to find out that the universal remote control I bought does not control the universe.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

My outfit is from Gucci and the body from Ferrero.

Just shared via Messenger:

Technology has gone too far, man. My roommate is logged out of his lightbulbs because he forgot his password.

Trending via Facebook:

I’m gonna start cursing people out but with biblical phrases like I hope your crops wither and bear no fruit and the ravens eat your mustard seeds.

Seen just now on Reddit:

Don’t bother telling me where you’re from, I have no geographical knowledge and no sense of direction.

Going viral on Messenger:

Mud season creeps up on us every year, destroying hearts and minds as well as light grey carpeting.

Spotted on Pinterest:

If you compliment me, my glasses fog up.

Spreading quickly via Reddit:

I don’t understand why judges get paid so much, others judge me for free.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

You’re a “haha” girl, and I’m an “lol” guy. It just wouldn’t work.

Home » Funny Sarcastic Quotes » Page 2

37 Funny sarcastic quotes

More funny sarcastic quotes 👇

1 week ago
Share →: This whole “having a job” thing is really getting in the way of me having my best life.

Commentary:
"Why adult when you can just 'nap-tivate'? 😂✨ #LifeGoals 🛌💤"
2 weeks ago
Share →: “Clean” my shower? Then what? Give my car a ride into town?

Commentary:
"Why stop there? Might as well teach my toaster how to dance! 🕺🚿🚗🤣"
2 weeks ago
Share →: Stop making Fast and Furious movies.

Commentary:
"At this rate, even my popcorn is running out of gas! 🍿😅 #TooFastTooFurious"
2 weeks ago
Share →: I don’t simply want to kill a mosquito; I want to bite them back over and over to make them itch.

Commentary:
"Time for some revenge… blood-bank style! 🦟🩸 Scratch that, mosquitoes! 😆😂"
2 weeks ago
Share →: I should’ve been an air conditioner because all I do is vent.

Commentary:
"I've always suspected you were just 'full of hot air'! 😅🍃❄️ #CoolerThanICouldEverBe"
3 weeks ago
Share →: Gonna go walk the beach and stare annoyingly at couples. May even growl as I pass by.

Commentary:
"Just doing my part to keep romance in check. 😂🐺💔 Stay vigilant, lone wolf on duty! 🌊🚶‍♂️"
3 weeks ago
Share →: Me, as a vampire: Tell me, mortal, have you had any alcohol in the last 24 hours?

Commentary:
"Me at 2 AM asking for 'drink preferences' 😂🥂 #VampireBartender"
3 weeks ago
Share →: Non-alcoholic beer is like a vibrator without batteries: it fills you up nicely but without the buzz…

Commentary:
"When you're just here for the fizz, not the 'buzz'! 🍺🔋😄"
1 month ago
Share →: When I’m behind a slow car, I steer my car a little to the right so the people behind me can see that it isn’t my fault.

Commentary:
"Just doing my civic duty as a professional 'not-my-fault' driver! 🚗💨⬇️ #BlameTheSnail"
1 month ago
Share →: No one is more hated than those two people who start a standing ovation.

Commentary:
"Those two people are the real bravehearts of clap wars! 👐😂👏"

For even more funny sarcastic quotes, check out the next page, if available 👇

All funny sarcastic quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

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Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇳 has shared:

I forgot to take my meds so I’m looking forward to joining the squirrels in the tree to talk politics.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has bookmarked:

Girls be like “forget it, I’m fine” then set your house on fire.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has downloaded:

I’m not making any resolutions. I think it’s time for the years to be better, not me.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has downloaded:

As a parent you get to see just how much a baby accomplishes in its first year of life. Because you’re awake for all of it.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has bookmarked:

I’m not shaking hands anymore. You may bow or kneel down.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has viewed:

I’m not super into getting older but I do like how nobody asks me to help them move anymore.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has viewed:

Many greetings from my coffee. Y’all are talking too much again.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has bookmarked:

Grocery stores should have baskets in the middle of the store for those “I really overestimated how much I can carry” moments.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has shared:

How does spaghetti know that I’m wearing light-colored clothes?

Someone from 🇰🇷 has viewed:

Tariff this, tariff that. When is somebody gonna tariff my clothes and kiss me?

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via TikTok:

I wish the homes of all my friends were connected to mine by secret underground tunnels.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

When science finally locates the center of the universe, some people will be surprised to learn they’re not it.

Reported on Pinterest:

You can’t change your past but you can change your pasta.

Just landed via Telegram:

I ran out of toilet paper so I had to start using old newspapers. The Times are rough.

Just landed via X:

You want me to sit in the back seat? The thing that killed JFK?

Making waves on Threads:

God knew I would be too powerful if I had conversation skills.

Shared recently on Discord:

I hate when my kids ask me impossible questions like: What day is it?

Spotted on Snapchat:

Not the sharpest cheddar on the charcuterie board.

Trending via Messenger:

Can everyone log off? I need some time alone right now.

Trending via Reddit:

Don’t ask me ‘how are you?’ unless you’re willing to sign an NDA.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

37 Funny sarcastic quotes

More funny sarcastic quotes 👇

For even more funny sarcastic quotes, check out the next page, if available 👇

All funny sarcastic quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Introducing two cats is tedium. Not interested in your dumb politics just lick each other and be normal already.

Good luck sending me mixed signals. Most the time I can’t even understand the direct ones.

Being abducted by aliens could be just the vacation I need right now.

The human body is amazing. One half-open eye and the brain under emergency power are enough to make coffee.

Hmm, that’s a bit too harsh. Let me put “lol” at the end of it.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

The easiest way to bundle your home and auto insurance is to live in your car.

Sometimes it’s not a secret, it’s just none of your business.

The real challenge of adulthood is figuring out what to eat every day.

According to the web, caffeine deficiency is a life threatening condition for people around you.

My favorite military tradition is asking someone what an acronym means right after they use it, and they don’t know what it means.

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

You truly don’t realize how young 20 is until you’re not 20 anymore.

Why is there so much day left at the end of my patience?

I may be a chaotic mess, but then so is quantum physics.

Anyone who wants to learn how to be humble, feel free to talk to me. There’s nothing like learning from the best.

Stop eating cakes with the fakes and come eat a bundt with a cundt.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Let the example of my fluke success guide nearly all of you to crushing disappointment.

Flirting is easy until you have to flirt with the person you like.

Some of you are out here driving like your turn signal’s free trial ended and you’re all out of blinks.

Some people get a bit strange as they get older. Not me. I’ve always been like that!

What is Washington’s plan to make everything bagels less messy to eat?

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