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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇸 has viewed:

Getting my next boyfriend a flip phone. He doesn’t need anything more.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has viewed:

I’m not shy, I’m holding back my awesomeness so I don’t intimidate you.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has copied:

If you have to remind them to give a shit, remind yourself not to.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has viewed:

No matter how early you get up, fate always gets up half an hour earlier.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has copied:

Cowboy outfits should be called ranch dressing.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has viewed:

During childbirth, women are in so much pain that it is almost possible for them to feel what men have to endure when they have a cold.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has viewed:

I love surprising my girl, today she woke up single.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has copied:

I wish I could Shazam a perfume.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has copied:

How can I be ready for the future when I’m not even ready to get up in the morning?

Someone from 🇪🇸 has viewed:

Later is the best time to do anything.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2448 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,610

Funny Quotes Topics

15,283

Funny Quotes Images

12,610

Updated

9 minutes ago

Users Online

3,445

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on Messenger:

What do you mean I never reach out? I literally thought about you.

Seen just now on Discord:

My signature move is always learning my lessons the hard way.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, that’s amore. When you swim in the sea and an eel bites your knee, that’s a moray.

Just shared via Facebook:

Let’s ride this misunderstanding into the sunset.

Seen just now on Reddit:

Peloton guy yelling “two more, one more” but it’s me eating Cheetos.

Spreading quickly via Facebook:

Another Monday that no one asked for.

Trending via Reddit:

Called in, “Let’s make this simple. What excuse haven’t I used yet?”

Reported on Messenger:

Bison may look friend-shaped, but they already have all the friends they want. Keep your distance and don’t make it awkward.

Reported on Facebook:

I’m uncomfortable around tall people. What if they pick me up and put me on their shoulders?

Breaking via WeChat:

No, thanks—social drama. Puberty sucked enough the first time around.

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2448 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,610

Funny Quotes Topics

15,283

Funny Quotes Images

12,610

Updated

9 minutes ago

Users Online

3,454

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇱 has copied:

Bored as hell. Anyone want to emotionally manipulate each other?

Someone from 🇰🇪 has shared:

We need a Disney princess who’s a greedy profiteer, so we can cheer for the poison apple.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has bookmarked:

Gnocchi: The small, chubby children of spaghetti and potatoes.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has copied:

My cats won’t talk to me because I came home late from work.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has downloaded:

Your in his DMs, I’m on Etsy paying a witch to put a spell on him.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has viewed:

Foreplay is great, I particularly like the part where I peel them, chop them into pieces, then roast them in the oven until they’re all crispy and delicious.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has shared:

I bet aliens lock their door when they go past earth.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has bookmarked:

Two words have helped me open a lot of doors in my life. Push and Pull.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has bookmarked:

A hot coffee and a crispy bagel doesn’t change anything but it can’t hurt.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has bookmarked:

My laptop is overheating because I am doing a really good job.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Slack:

How old is older? Because I’m still waiting for this wise thing to kick in.

Breaking via Pinterest:

Imagine hating me, and I’m over here with one hand in my pocket, and the other one giving a high five.

Spotted on Reddit:

Manipulative people really be like “oh, so now I’m the bad guy for being the bad guy?”

Just shared via Discord:

Sunglasses: allowing you to stare at people without getting caught. It’s like Facebook in real life.

Trending via TikTok:

Pets don’t talk because the moment they do, the government will tax them.

Seen just now on YouTube:

Don’t worry password, I’m insecure too.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

Who called it a shopaholic and not a boughtanist?

Trending via Discord:

Apparently “ew no” is not an acceptable way to tell my boss I don’t want more responsibility at work.

Reported on Pinterest:

Girls will be like “it’s fine” and then go and curse your whole bloodline.

Making waves on X:

If you’ve been talking for 5 minutes straight, it might be someone else’s turn.

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