Funny quotes thought

105 Funny thought quotes

Thoughts more intrusive than a 90s sitcom neighbor.

2 weeks ago

Before the internet, people thought that there was only one idiot per town. We were so wrong.

2 weeks ago

For years I thought an oncologist was just the doctor they kept on-call at all times.

3 weeks ago

I love when my brain cells kiss and I have an idea.

4 weeks ago

I thought there was a spider on the rug but it was just yarn. It’s dead yarn now though.

1 month ago

Hold on, let me overthink this.

1 month ago

If I got $5 every time I thought of you, I would start thinking of you.

1 month ago

And then I thought to myself, “What’s the point of cleaning if my family is going to keep living here?”

1 month ago

My train of thought derailed. There were no survivors.

1 month ago

I thought I wanted a career. Turns out all I wanted is paychecks.

1 month ago

I have been putting a lot of thought into it, and I just don’t think being an adult is going to work for me.

1 month ago

Of all the things to lose why couldn’t it have been my appetite and not my mind.

1 month ago

I came home to find my boyfriend mopping the floor and my first thought was, “who’d he kill?”

1 month ago

It may look like I’m doing nothing, but in my head I’m quite busy.

1 month ago

The first time I saw a kiwi I thought it’s a potato with fur.

1 month ago

My first thought upon waking up in the morning is “not again”.

2 months ago

My last straw is way longer than I thought.

2 months ago

My mind not only wanders, sometimes it leaves completely!

2 months ago

For Valentine’s Day, I’m gift-wrapping a shirt my husband hasn’t worn in years. It’s the thought that counts—and technically, I thought of it twice.

2 months ago

Sometimes, I wonder what my life would be like if I had a good haircut.

2 months ago

I overthink, therefore I am.

2 months ago

You are my favorite dirty thought.

2 months ago

Why would I finish my thought when I could have a new, more exciting one?

3 months ago

Ever thought about centaurs and how the bottom half would start walking immediately after birth but the top part would be baby-like and flop around for a while.

3 months ago

I thought Game of Thrones was a pooping contest for men.

3 months ago

I thought you are the sunshine of my life, but you are just a meteor trying to destroy my world.

3 months ago

I thought my mixed signals were perfectly clear.

3 months ago

80 percent of my life now is just “hmmmm… should I bring my jacket or not?”

3 months ago

I see no action figures, puzzles, or board games. I thought you said you wanted to play with me.

3 months ago

My brain is 80% song lyrics.

3 months ago