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117 Funny thought quotes

New funny thought quotes 👇

  • You ever get surprised by your own recurring issues? Like, come on man, I thought we were past this.

    Commentary:
    “Thought I’d left that drama back in ‘don’t we know better by now?’ 🙄😂🎢”

  • I really thought adulthood would be 50% freedom and 50% fun. Turns out it’s 100% bills.

    …

    Commentary:
    “Adulthood: where you pay bills to prove you exist! 📝💸 #AdultingChronicles”

  • No, I didn’t eat enough protein today, but I did think of you with enough intensity to generate new muscle tissue in my heart.

    …

    Commentary:
    “Who needs protein shakes when I’ve got you giving my heart a workout? 💪❤️😂”

  • I miss when we didn’t know what celebrities thought about anything.

    Commentary:
    “I agree! I miss the good old days when the only mystery was how on earth they got their hair so perfect! 😂✨🤷‍♂️”

  • What if instead of Big Mac it was Big Matt and he came out and said hello to you?

    Commentary:
    “🤣🍔 ‘Hey, I’m Big Matt! Can I take your order… for friendship? 🤗💁‍♂️’”

  • I used to have this mental illness where I thought logical arguments would change someone’s mind.

    Commentary:
    “Ah, the good old days when my superpower was ‘argue-man-tation’ 🦸‍♂️🧠🤯 Turns out, people wear ‘logic-repellent’ like it’s perfume! 😂🌀”

  • Sorry you thought I I was flirting with you; I had something in my eye.

    Commentary:
    “Oops! Guess my ‘eye contact’ came with a free trial. 😜👀”

  • They should invent a day where I don’t think.

    Commentary:
    “National ‘Brain on Vacation’ Day! Sign me up for the parade! 🧠🎈😴”

  • Isn’t it weird we have a little voice in our head, like the one you’re using to read this?

    Commentary:
    Haha, so my inner voice is basically my own hype squad! 😂🧠🎉

  • What do you mean I never reach out? I literally thought about you.

    Commentary:
    Well, clearly your thoughts are loud enough to reach the universe — just not your texts! 🤔📱 Maybe your brain is on “thought mode” but the “reply” button is on airplane mode. 😂✨

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