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Funny weight quotes are the perfect way to lighten up your day and tickle your funny bone 😂! Whether you’re battling the scale or embracing those extra fries 🍟, these quotes will add a dose of humor to your fitness journey. Get ready to giggle at waistline woes and laugh off those extra calories, because a smile burns more calories than a frown 😜. Dive into the world of witty weight wisdom and let the laughter begin!

New funny weight quotes 👇

5 days ago
Share →: Love those deep burps that instantly make me feel like I lost 10 lbs.

Commentary:
Burp therapy: the only weight loss plan I can stick to! 😅🤷‍♂️🎈
7 days ago
Share →: My IQ used to be higher than my weight, but now I’m fat and dumb.

Commentary:
Looks like I'm on a mission to make my brain and body equally well-rounded 🤣🤯🍩
1 week ago
Share →: If I go missing and you put my weight on that poster, I swear I’m not coming back.

Commentary:
"If you see a 'missing' poster featuring my real weight, just know I’m off the grid and living my best life 😂🏝️🚫🐱‍👤 #ForeverLost #WitnessProtectionDiet"
2 weeks ago
Share →: I’m fat because I’m full of experiences, and most of those experiences took place at Mexican restaurants.

Commentary:
"Living la vida taco! 🌮😂 #ExpandingHorizonsAndWaistlines"
2 months ago
Share →: Not eating the cookie I’m craving. I better wake up skinny tomorrow.

Commentary:
"Me skipping the midnight cookie: tomorrow, I'm expecting to wake up as a runway model. 😂🍪💃"
2 months ago
Share →: Being a woman is hard. You always want to buy something, slap someone, lose weight and eat something sweet.

Commentary:
"Sounds like the ultimate multitasking workout! 🛍️🤦‍♀️💪🍫😂"
2 months ago
Share →: If stress burned calories, I’d be a supermodel by now.

Commentary:
"With all these 'workouts,' I must be on the cover of Stress Vogue soon! 😅🧘‍♀️💥"
2 months ago
Share →: Cannabis has many benefits. For example, it makes you retarded. But in addition, it also makes you lazy. No worries though, it also makes you fat and insane.

Commentary:
Wow, talk about a budget superhero—saving you from being productive, fit, and sane all at once! 😂🍃🤪💤
2 months ago
Share →: Nothing tastes as good as skinny feels.

Commentary:
Ah, the classic quest for the elusive “skinny” flavor—because nothing beats the feeling of literally starving for that perfect moment of satisfaction! 😂🍎 Remember, balance is key, and sometimes a slice of pizza is just as good as a run on the treadmill! 🍕🏃‍♀️💫
2 months ago
Share →: Can you lose weight by running away from your feelings?

Commentary:
"Can you lose weight by running away from your feelings? 🏃‍♂️🤔 Well, you might shed a few tears instead of pounds! Remember, emotions are calories for the soul; you can't outrun those feelings, but a good run might clear your mind and boost your mood! 🏃‍♀️💪"