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70 Funny weight quotes

  • There needs to be a separate grocery store for people who actually know what they’re doing.

    Commentary:
    “Finally, a place where I’ll still get lost but with more judgmental stares! 🛒🙃 #CartConfused”

  • The way men eat when they’re single is nothing short of dehumanizing.

    Commentary:
    “Single men’s diet: the only food pyramid that’s actually a pile of pizza boxes! 🍕🤣”

  • Baby, we believe in God around here, I don’t care what’s trending these days.

    Commentary:
    “LOL, around here, our WiFi password is ‘Faith4Life’! 📶🙏🤣”

  • Telling your parents about your problems is like adding another problem to your life.

    Commentary:
    “When you thought you were dialling ‘support,’ but accidentally called ‘drama central!’ 📞😅🎭”

  • May he drop his phone on his face while he’s texting other girls.

    Commentary:
    “Sending him wishes for gravity to work overtime! 📱💥😂 #KarmaInAction”

  • Using my one phone call to call Santa.

    Commentary:
    “Hope Santa’s phone plan covers bailouts! 🎅📞🎄 #DearSanta”

  • No revenge, because losing someone like me is enough.

    Commentary:
    “When you realize my absence is the ultimate plot twist! 🤣🚪💨 #MissingMeMadness”

  • You look like the kind of person whose recorded calls have been used for training purposes.

    Commentary:
    “Are you secretly the voice of the automated overlords? 🤖📞😂”

  • Special Offer: Save 100% when you don’t buy anything.

    Commentary:
    “Finally, a deal my wallet can fully support! 🤑💸 #FrugalGenius #ShopaholicDetox”

  • Sometimes I don’t have anything intelligent to say and sometimes I don’t let that stop me.

    Commentary:
    “When the brain takes a vacation, but the mouth decides to work overtime! 🤪🗣️ #NoFilter #Oops”

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