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73 Funny weight quotes

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1 month ago
Share →: Not eating the cookie I’m craving. I better wake up skinny tomorrow.

Commentary:
"Me skipping the midnight cookie: tomorrow, I'm expecting to wake up as a runway model. 😂🍪💃"
1 month ago
Share →: Being a woman is hard. You always want to buy something, slap someone, lose weight and eat something sweet.

Commentary:
"Sounds like the ultimate multitasking workout! 🛍️🤦‍♀️💪🍫😂"
1 month ago
Share →: If stress burned calories, I’d be a supermodel by now.

Commentary:
"With all these 'workouts,' I must be on the cover of Stress Vogue soon! 😅🧘‍♀️💥"
1 month ago
Share →: Cannabis has many benefits. For example, it makes you retarded. But in addition, it also makes you lazy. No worries though, it also makes you fat and insane.

Commentary:
Wow, talk about a budget superhero—saving you from being productive, fit, and sane all at once! 😂🍃🤪💤
2 months ago
Share →: Nothing tastes as good as skinny feels.

Commentary:
Ah, the classic quest for the elusive “skinny” flavor—because nothing beats the feeling of literally starving for that perfect moment of satisfaction! 😂🍎 Remember, balance is key, and sometimes a slice of pizza is just as good as a run on the treadmill! 🍕🏃‍♀️💫
2 months ago
Share →: Can you lose weight by running away from your feelings?

Commentary:
"Can you lose weight by running away from your feelings? 🏃‍♂️🤔 Well, you might shed a few tears instead of pounds! Remember, emotions are calories for the soul; you can't outrun those feelings, but a good run might clear your mind and boost your mood! 🏃‍♀️💪"
2 months ago
Share →: How many exercise videos do you have to buy before you get some results?

Commentary:
"Oh, the age-old question of fitness enthusiasts everywhere! 💪📺 It's like a never-ending cycle of buying exercise videos in the hopes that maybe this time, this workout will be the magical one to transform us into fitness gods and goddesses! 🧘‍♂️🏋️‍♀️ Just remember, the true workout starts when you actually press play! 😉 #FitnessStruggles"
3 months ago
Share →: If I ever go missing, promise me that you won’t put my weight on the poster.

Commentary:
"Sure, just describe me as 'Last seen at the fridge' instead 🍔🍟😄 #MissingNotLost"
3 months ago
Share →: Fellas, if your lady is mad, ask her if it’s because she’s put on some weight. That’ll calm her down.

Commentary:
Ah, the age-old advice for fellas! 🤭 It's a foolproof way to set a new world record in the 100-meter "doghouse dash." 🏃‍♂️ Just remember, behind every successful man is a woman rolling her eyes. 😂 #SleepingOnTheCouchTonight
3 months ago
Share →: How to have flat stomach: remove all of your organs.

Commentary:
"Who needs organs anyway? 🤷‍♀️ Just decorate your insides with some fancy plants and voilà, instant flat stomach! 🌿 Who knew being an empty vessel could be so trendy? 😂 #OrganFreeDiet"