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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇸 has shared:

I am just a man, a man who told a woman to calm down, so I guess this is goodbye.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has bookmarked:

I like to just appear out of nowhere and say, “this looks like a job for a binder clip.”

Someone from 🇸🇹 has copied:

A DM? Flirt on the timeline like a real man.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has shared:

Men will ruin your whole life then come back and like your story.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has downloaded:

I’ve noticed the best way to get somebody’s attention is to not want it anymore.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has downloaded:

They charge you for the groceries and then they charge you for the toilet paper when you turn the groceries into poop. Open your eyes!

Someone from 🇬🇶 has copied:

“PTO” stands for “prepare the others” because you’re not gonna be there.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has shared:

There is no bigger lie than “fun for the whole family”.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has bookmarked:

Humanity doesn’t always make a compelling case for its continued existence.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has shared:

My favorite part of parenting is being exhausted all the time and losing the will to live.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Feb 3, 2026

3,292

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on LinkedIn:

Spice up your meltdown through interpretive dance.

Going bananas on LinkedIn:

RIP to everyone killed by the Gods for their hubris, but I’m different. And better. Maybe even better than the Gods.

Going viral on Threads:

You have 8 hours remaining to create shareholder value.

Just landed via Threads:

Parenting a teenager is surreal because you’ll be sitting there, and some dude who is much taller than you will walk around the corner and ask you how to open a popcorn bag.

Going viral on Facebook:

Most guys probably just have a foot fetish because their first girlfriend was a sock.

Just shared via TikTok:

If we hadn’t made them extinct, instead of Kung Fu Panda we could have had Tae Kwon Dodo.

Just landed via Threads:

Mister Sandman, bring me a meme. Make it the dumbest shit that I’ve ever seen.

Just landed via Facebook:

There must be an invisible mechanism on my book. Every time I open it, my husband starts trying to talk to me.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

Tolerate the lactose already, you heathen.

Making waves on Messenger:

The neighbor sneezes loudly from the balcony. And because I’m a polite person, I shout loudly: Disgusting!

337 Funny where quotes

Funny where quotes pop up; they’re like surprise confetti for your brain! 🎉 Ever found wisdom in your cereal or on a coffee cup sleeve? ☕️ These quirky tidbits have a knack for appearing in the most unexpected places, turning mundane moments into mini epiphanies. Ready to embrace the randomness and giggle at life’s impromptu punchlines? 😂 Dive into the delightful chaos of spontaneous wisdom!

New funny where quotes 👇

My favorite part of the Bible is where God says, put a cross emoji in your bio and cheer on the dehumanization of minorities.

7 days ago

bible, bio, cheer, cross, cross emoji, dehumanization, emoji, favorite, God, minority, put, where
Is there a job where I can lay on the floor and listen to music?

1 week ago

floor, funny question, i, job, lay, listen, music, question, relaxation, where
Why would I put money where my mouth is when wine exists?

1 week ago

beverage, drinking, humor, i, joke, money, mouth, pun, put, sarcasm, where, why, wine
Situationship where the situation is being madly in love with each other.

1 week ago

being, humor, love, madly, madly in love, relationship, romantic, situation, situationship, where
I have information that will lead to where your hug is at.

1 week ago

hug, humor, i, information, lead, playful, where, wordplay
Watching a movie and using a laser pointer to indicate where my fellow viewers should be looking for an optimal viewing experience.

1 week ago

behavior, entertainment, experience, funny behavior, humor, laser, laser pointer, looking, movie, optimal, optimal viewing, pointer, should, using, viewer, viewing, watching, where
I have never read a Hacker News thread where any of the commenters seemed as if their life contained joy.

1 week ago

commenter, culture, hacker, Hacker News, humor, i, internet, internet culture, joy, life, never, news, read, thread, where
I’m at the age where I have to warm up first before jumping to conclusions.

1 week ago

age, aging, before, conclusion, conclusions, humor, i, jumping, patience, warm, warm-up, where
The part where the music beat is going from your left ear to the right at different intervals.

1 week ago

audio, beat, different, ear, funny observation, going, left, listening, music, observation, rhythm, right, sound, where
I hate being at the age where you feel obligated to buy your whole family gifts for Christmas, but also the age where your bank account doesn’t feel obligated to support that.

1 week ago

account, adulting, age, bank, bank account, being, buy, Christmas, family, family gift, feel, finance, gift, gifts, hate, holiday, holiday shopping, humor, i, money, obligation, shopping, support, where, whole

For even more funny where quotes, hit next 👇

All funny where quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections

✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

33 shares on TikTok this month:

My favorite unit of measurement is smithereens.

89 shares on Pinterest this month:

This cannot be the cost of living after Jesus paid it all.

54 shares on Reddit this month:

Forget all this adulting stuff, let’s bring back Saturday morning cartoons.

92 shares on X this month:

Why do babies stare at you like they know you from somewhere?

34 shares on Pinterest this month:

All women want is to consistently annoy one handsome man forever.

80 shares on Facebook this month:

Shoutout to everyone pretending to have it together. Same.

56 shares on YouTube this month:

Getting a lawn sign so people know what I think today.

78 shares on Slack this month:

“American Pope” sounds like the name of an Amazon prime original series you ignore.

24 shares on Messenger this month:

The only way the climate is going to change is if it first admits it has a problem, there’s really nothing we can do.

46 shares on Twitch this month:

If you can’t handle me at my weirdest, then leave, because it gets weirder.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

13 folks are currently checking 👀

“It is what it is,” I say, not really knowing what it actually is.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

I rode around the block on my bike for the first time in years and now I understand why Lance Armstrong took performance enhancing drugs.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

I just want a bar where I can pour my own drink, have music at a normal volume, and there are no people, and it’s my house.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

In honor of the fall equinox, I will also be cold, distant and filled with darkness.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

“Mom, how did we get so rich?” your father said, “Thanks, nothing from my end,” on thousands of important Zoom meetings.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

You need a twins name suggestion? How about Kate and DupliKate?

18 folks are currently checking 👀

So you mean to tell me a stress ball isn’t for throwing at people who stress you out?

20 folks are currently checking 👀

When I get married, I want my wedding video to be filmed like it’s an episode of The Office. I want camera zooms, eye contact, side commentary— all of it.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Reverse cowgirl so he doesn’t see the double chin.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

I’ve never seen a Cybertruck with anyone in the passenger seat.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,639

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇼 has viewed:

It’s so hot out here, I saw a bird blowing on a worm before he ate it.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has bookmarked:

I want time to watch more films, but I also want time to read more books, but I also want time to look at more nothing.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has shared:

Men shouldn’t be allowed to download any app other than Wikipedia.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has copied:

Japanese cats answering the phone be like, “Meowshi meowshi.”

Someone from 🇧🇸 has bookmarked:

Pretty sure the best place to hide a dead body is in a new tab you opened to read later.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has viewed:

A dating app for people who suck at flirting called Fumble.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has bookmarked:

On the surface: cool as a cucumber. On the inside: squirrel in traffic.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has bookmarked:

Even on the coldest of days, there’s such peace found in the warm embrace of a hot pizza.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has bookmarked:

Husband and I were blissfully happy for 25 years. Then we met.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has shared:

I’m going to need to rewatch Idiocracy to see what happens next.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

My mind is like my web browser. 19 tabs are open, 3 are frozen and I have no idea where the music is coming from.

Making waves on Pinterest:

Just found out my 84-year-old neighbour is on his own tomorrow, so I’ve just been over to collect his spare chairs to borrow.

Broadcasted on Reddit:

What if your dog one day just randomly said “Nobody is going to believe you” and never spoke again.

Trending via WeChat:

Santa punched a hole in my wall because I left him soy milk.

Spreading quickly via Pinterest:

They should invent a political party that doesn’t suck.

Just shared via WeChat:

There are 400 billion stars in our galaxy and perhaps two trillion galaxies in total, and I just wonder if Miss Universe fully understands her achievement.

Freshly posted on X:

Sundays are no place for pants or responsibility.

Going viral on X:

Today’s youth will never experience the pain of spending all their pocket money on a music album. Because of ONE good song!

Going bananas on YouTube:

Made a lot of mistakes in my life, but adding more cheese than a recipe calls for isn’t one of them.

Going viral on Instagram:

This meeting could have been an unread email.

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