Funny quotes where

176 Funny where quotes

I wish my Fitbit could track all the steps I’ve taken trying to find where I put it.

4 days ago

I’m officially at the age where I’m not upgrading my phone until it stops working.

1 week ago

No longer chasing dreams. If they want me, they know where I nap.

2 weeks ago

I’m at the age where using the wrong pillow makes you feel like you broke your neck.

2 weeks ago

It’s that time of year where every jacket you choose is wrong.

3 weeks ago

And where did Mr. Pepper receive his degree from exactly?

3 weeks ago

I’m so high at Home Depot right now, and I have to ask where the hose at. And I know I’mma laugh when I do.

1 month ago

Where do we acquire the ducks that we’re supposed to be putting in a row?

1 month ago

Dating scene and the job market are the same right now, just stay where you are.

1 month ago

Home is where you trust the toilet seats.

1 month ago

I’ve reached a point in my life where if I can’t find parking, I’m just going to go home.

1 month ago

Who is this Rorschach guy and where did he get all the pictures of my parents fighting?

2 months ago

How is rent for 28 days the same amount as for 31 days? Where is my change?

2 months ago

Don’t worry. You’re exactly where you should be in life. Because you’ve made horrible choices.

2 months ago

Don’t forget to look directly into the sun for at least 10 minutes per day because that’s where all the vitamins are.

2 months ago

My favorite type of gender reveal is the one where they just tell me and I don’t have to go to a party to find out.

2 months ago

I’m at that age where someone can call me the wrong name and I’m just like “whatever, I’ll be Dan for a minute”.

2 months ago

My favorite recipe is the one where I pick up the phone and order food.

2 months ago

I’m officially at the age where I understand why my parents never wanted to go anywhere after work.

3 months ago

I have good problem solving skills, but my problem creating skills are where I really shine.

3 months ago

A dating app called Unhinged where you agree to meet up and fight each other.

3 months ago

I need a horror movie where a kidnapper abducts a possessed child and finds out.

3 months ago

I keep forgetting i’m at the age where people will tell me they’re pregnant and my reaction is supposed to be positive.

3 months ago

Does anyone know where I can get my shit together?

3 months ago

My ex had this fetish where he would dress up in his own clothes and act like an idiot.

3 months ago

Twitter is like a mental hospital where everyone thinks they are the only sane person and everyone else is crazy.

3 months ago

Welcome to Twitter, where everyone is an expert on everything.

3 months ago

What is that job called where you put the little stickers on fruit? I think I would be good at that.

3 months ago

Welcome to the internet, where people are confidently wrong all the time.

3 months ago

Twitter is basically a psychiatric ward where all the patients diagnose each other.

3 months ago