346 Funny am quotes

• According to my skin, hair, lips, and hands, I am doing Dry January.

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  1 week ago

  alcohol-free, am, doing, dry, Dry January, hair, hand, hands, humor, i, January, lip, lips, self-care, skin

• The idea of a relationship is so much better than the reality, bruh. I used to be angry at 7 a.m.

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  1 week ago

  am, anger, angry, better, bruh, frustration, humor, i, idea, morning, much, reality, relationship, used

• I am a firm believer that singing ‘Slide Away’ at the top of your lungs changes you as a person.

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  1 week ago

  activity, am, away, change, changes, expression, fun, fun activity, i, karaoke, lungs, music, Oasis, person, personal, personal change, singing, slide, song, top

• I love mirrors because they remind me of how pretty I am.

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  1 week ago

  am, beauty, confidence, humor, i, love, me, mirror, mirrors, pretty, reflection, remind, self-love

• Unfortunately, I am the first person in my family to do what they want.

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  1 week ago

  am, choice, family, humor, i, independence, individualism, person, personal, personal choice, unfortunately, want

• The more secure you want my computer password to be, the more guaranteed I am to just write it on a very not secure post-it note.

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  1 week ago

  am, computer, humor, i, IT, just, note, password, post-it, post-it note, security, technology, want

• I am the first person in my bloodline to attempt to become hot, and I can feel my genes fighting me every step of the way.

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  1 week ago

  am, attempt, bloodline, body, body image, every, feel, fighting, gene, hot, humor, i, image, me, person, self-deprecating, step, struggle

• Can’t believe my neighbor rang my doorbell at 3 a.m. last night… Luckily, I was still up playing the drums.

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  1 week ago

  3, 3 a.m., a.m., am, believe, doorbell, drums, funny situation, i, last, late, late night, neighbor, night, noise, playing, playing drums, situation, still, unexpected, unexpected visit, visit

• I used to think “9 to 5” means a job from 9 a.m. to 5 p.m.

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  1 week ago

  5, 9, am, humor, i, job, means, misunderstanding, think, time, used, work

• I sexually identify as a microwave dinner, because I am ready in 5 minutes, look nothing like my photos, and I’m just satisfying enough for you to want me again when you’re desperate.

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  1 week ago

  5, again, am, appearance, dating, desperate, desperation, dinner, enough, humor, i, identify, identity, just, me, microwave, microwave dinner, minutes, nothing, photos, ready, ready in 5 minutes, satisfaction, sexual, sexual identity, want

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