346 Funny am quotes

• I don’t understand the phrase “You can’t have your cake and eat it” because if I have cake, what the hell else am I supposed to do with it.

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  43 minutes ago

  am, cake, eat, else, food, hell, humor, i, idiom, misunderstanding, phrase, understand

• I have officially reached the age where I am bothered by lights being on, doors left open, loud noises, and people.

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  51 minutes ago

  age, aging, am, annoyance, being, door, doors, humor, i, left, light, lights, loud, noise, noises, open, people, where

• You wake up at 6 a.m. and it’s like you have 48 hours instead of 24.

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  1 hour ago

  48, 6, am, day, early, early riser, exaggeration, hours, humor, morning, riser, time, wake, wake up

• Why am I scrolling? What am I searching for?

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  1 hour ago

  am, boredom, distraction, habit, i, media, question, scrolling, searching, self-reflection, social, social media, why

• According to the BMI chart, I am too short.

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  3 hours ago

  am, BMI, body, body image, height, humor, i, image, joke, short, shortness, too

• I get it, funds… I, too, am insufficient.

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  5 hours ago

  am, financial, financial struggle, fund, funds, humor, i, insufficiency, money, pun, struggle, too, wordplay

• If men didn’t exist, I would simply go for a 2 a.m. walk every night and listen to music in my AirPods.

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  6 hours ago

  2, AirPods, am, every, exist, humor, i, late, late night, listen, men, music, night, relaxation, simply, solitude, walk

• Never going into a job interview nervous again, because, wow, it is literally a free invitation to talk about how amazing I am.

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  6 hours ago

  again, am, amazing, free, going, growth, humor, i, interview, invitation, job, job interview, literally, motivation, nervous, nervousness, never, personal, personal growth, public, public speaking, self-confidence, self-praise, speaking, talk

• I don’t get enough credit for acting far less crazy than I actually am.

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  6 hours ago

  acting, actually, am, crazy, credit, enough, humor, i, less, personality, self-awareness

• Oops, I accidentally healed too much. I am now uninterested in anyone but mẹ.

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  8 hours ago

  accident, accidentally, am, anyone, healing, humor, i, me, much, oops, relationship, too, uninterested

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