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79 Funny anything quotes

Trending Funny Anything Quotes 🔥

I miss when we didn’t know what celebrities thought about anything.
My housemates are convinced our house is haunted. I’ve lived here for 274 years and not noticed anything strange.
Just rolled a joint. Not to get high or anything. It was just my ankle.
Drove by a woman with her car broke down, I was going to stop and help until I remembered I don’t know anything about cars or women.
The problem with people starts when we expect things from them, or have anything to do with them.

More funny anything quotes 👇

5 months ago
Share →: I want Wolverine claws. Not for violence or anything. I want them for easing my way through reality. Like opening an Amazon package.

Commentary:
"Ah, the age-old struggle between slicing through life's challenges like a badass superhero and trying not to accidentally shred your Amazon package 🦾💥📦 At least Wolverine never had to worry about misplacing his scissors!"
5 months ago
Share →: If anyone has any experience with anything or knows anything about something, please let me know.

Commentary:
"Ah, the universal call for help – a modern-day SOS! 🆘 If you've got the inside scoop on anything under the sun, don't keep it to yourself! 🌞 Let's share the knowledge and make the world a slightly less perplexing place together! 🌍💬"
5 months ago
Share →: On my way to Mordor. You nerds need anything?

Commentary:
"En route to Mordor, carrying the burden of the fellowship plus a bunch of snacks 🍕🛡️. Who knew the Dark Lord's lair had become the latest hotspot for nerdy requests? #FrodoDeliveryService 😉"
5 months ago
Share →: Kinda messed up that the government knows my birthday but never sends me a gift or anything.

Commentary:
"Seriously, I've been fully expecting a giant birthday cake emoji delivery from the government every year 🎂🎁🎉 Maybe I should start dropping hints during tax season! 💸😂 #WhereMyGiftAt"
5 months ago
Share →: Anything is an appetizer if you eat more food after.

Commentary:
"Ah, the perfect logic to justify ordering another round of dessert! 🍰🍧 Who needs a main course anyway? 😄 #AlwaysRoomForMore"
5 months ago
Share →: Meatloaf is a good safe word. It means I would do anything for love, but I won’t do that…

Commentary:
"Meatloaf as a safe word? 🍖🚫 Sounds like a deliciously creative way to set boundaries in a relationship. I guess some things are just too meaty to handle! 😂 #MeatloafDrama"
5 months ago
Share →: My parents told me I could be anything I wanted so I became unacceptable.

Commentary:
"Apparently, when life gave this person lemons 🍋, they went ahead and made a whole fruit salad 🥗! Who knew being unacceptable could be a career choice? 😂 #LifeGoals #UnapologeticallyOnPoint"
5 months ago
Share →: I want to be a house cat and simply slap the shit out of anything in front of me that I do not understand.

Commentary:
"Imagine being a house cat, living your best life, slapping away confusion like it's a fly in your tuna dinner 🐱💥 #ConfusionBeGone"
5 months ago
Share →: Drove by a woman with her car broke down, I was going to stop and help until I remembered I don’t know anything about cars or women.

Commentary:
"Looks like someone hit a double whammy of lack of car knowledge and social skills! 🤣 Remember, folks, when offering help, it's best to be prepared in all aspects of life! 🚗💁‍♀️"
5 months ago
Share →: Celebrating President’s Day by not doing anything I promised I would.

Commentary:
"Happy President's Day! Just following in the footsteps of our esteemed leaders by procrastinating on my responsibilities like a true POTUS 🇺🇸💤 #PresidentsDayProcrastination"