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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇺🇸 has copied:

You know that tingly little feeling you get when you like someone? That’s common sense leaving your body.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has viewed:

Thinking of starting a club for people who don’t like to leave their house. There are no meetings.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has viewed:

You wish you had this many chins.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has shared:

Had chicken and egg for dinner because I wanted to eat the whole family.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has viewed:

You should be able to call out of work if your partner is so cozy and warm in the morning.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has copied:

I think you misunderstood – when I said, “Let me look into it,” that meant, “I don’t know exactly how to tell you no just yet.”

Someone from 🇨🇦 has bookmarked:

My life started becoming a mess when I was put in charge of my own bedtime.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has viewed:

This entire year has been the Nightmare Before Christmas.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has shared:

I am writing a book about reverse psychology. Please don’t buy it.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has shared:

Life is so boring when you don’t have a package on the way.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,319

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Twitch:

If life has taught me one thing, it’s that I need more money.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

If I have to look at any more spreadsheets today, you’re gonna have to spread my ashes.

Seen just now on TikTok:

I miss the good ol’ days until I remember things like having to get out of my chair and smack the TV to get a clearer picture.

Shared recently on Messenger:

Are you gonna call me beautiful today, or do I need to go to the gas station?

Freshly posted on Discord:

I used to love going out with people. Now I weigh the pros and cons of human interaction, like it’s a business decision.

Just landed via Discord:

I refuse to be bound by the social construct called “the calendar.” Merry Christmas, everyone.

Spotted on YouTube:

Sorry I missed your call. I saw that you were calling and immediately threw my phone into an active volcano.

Making waves on Twitch:

In my defense, they burned my grilled cheese sandwich.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

Any room can be a panic room if you just give me a few minutes.

Going bananas on Slack:

I’m so old, I still keep special moments in my heart and not in my Insta story.

154 Funny anything quotes

More funny anything quotes 👇

I don’t consider myself anything but average. However, I have aged well.

1 week ago

aging, anything, average, confidence, consider, humor, i, myself, self-awareness, self-deprecating, well
Did you guys hear about the “internet”? Apparently, you can say literally anything there.

1 week ago

anything, apparently, communication, culture, guys, hear, humor, internet, internet culture, media, online, say, social, social media
Weird how I can’t seem to reach anything at the grocery store when hot men are around.

1 week ago

anything, around, attraction, confidence, distraction, flirtation, grocery, grocery store, hot, humor, i, men, reach, self-awareness, store, weird
You can’t tell me there’s anything better than earplugs; I simply will not hear it.

1 week ago

anything, better, cancellation, ear, ear protection, earplugs, hear, hearing, humor, i, me, noise, noise cancellation, protection, sarcasm, simply, stubbornness, tell
If you respond to emails and Teams messages quickly, you can get away with basically anything at work.

1 week ago

anything, away, communication, email, emails, ethic, message, messages, productivity, quick, quick reply, reply, respond, response, Teams, work, work ethic, workplace
Opening up is like talking to a cop: anything you say can and will be used against you.

1 week ago

anything, communication, confession, cop, humor, joke, opening, paranoia, police, sarcasm, say, social, talking, used, wit
11:00 am – Anything is possible. 3:00 pm – But not today.

2 weeks ago

am, anything, attitude, daily, daily routine, humor, motivation, possibility, procrastination, routine, time, today
Getting my next boyfriend a flip phone. He doesn’t need anything more.

2 weeks ago

anything, boyfriend, dating, flip, flip phone, getting, gift, humor, joke, need, next, phone, relationship, simplicity, tech
The lion doesn’t concern himself with much of anything these days.

2 weeks ago

anything, apathy, attitude, carefree, concern, confidence, days, humor, lion, much, relaxation
You can be anything. Be the person who ends the meeting early.

2 weeks ago

anything, early, fun, humor, humor quote, meeting, motivation, office, office humor, person, procrastination, productivity, sarcasm, workplace

For even more funny anything quotes, hit next 👇

All funny anything quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections

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Social Media Stars ⭐

47 shares on Threads this month:

Do you know how much trauma it took to be this funny?

54 shares on Facebook this month:

I feel like we’re on like the 50th or 60th horseman of the apocalypse by now.

74 shares on X this month:

And for my next trick, I’m going to miss you in a million unspoken ways.

89 shares on Instagram this month:

One thing I will never understand about adulthood is how I’m supposed to make appointments if I work full time and every place closes at 6 p.m.

55 shares on Pinterest this month:

You know you’re a bad cook when the dog won’t lick the plate.

20 shares on YouTube this month:

I’m slowly becoming an adult. Please make it stop.

23 shares on Pinterest this month:

To cut the long story short, I have spent all my money.

52 shares on Slack this month:

I laugh at my own jokes because I am my target audience. Y’all just happen to be there.

73 shares on Messenger this month:

Daily reminder that you’re biologically programmed to get laid, eat good food, connect with other humans, and enjoy yourself. Everything else is literally made up.

61 shares on Threads this month:

When I die, throw me on Mount Everest so it looks like I was trying to do something.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇷 has shared:

They should invent a day where I feel normal.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has shared:

Heelys don’t have brakes because my swag rides forever.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has downloaded:

I hate when I offer someone food and they accept it.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has viewed:

I’ve got a headache, and it’s affecting my entire future.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has downloaded:

My sweatpants sat me down and said they want me to get an office job again.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has bookmarked:

I’m so old and have never even met a woman named Jolene. I’d really like to find her, though. She can have my man.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has shared:

If a beer is 8 bucks, it’s a show. If a beer is 14 bucks, it’s a concert.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has bookmarked:

Driving is great because it combines my love of sitting with my love of being mad.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has copied:

This Monday has Monday written all over it.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has copied:

I think they’ve made more Kung-Fu Panda movies in the last 20 years than they’ve made actual pandas.

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on Snapchat:

“I’m basically the human version of finding $20 in old jeans.”

Broadcasted on TikTok:

Sarcastically saying “you’re welcome” to the people who don’t say thank you when I hold the door for them is something I’ll never stop doing.

Going bananas on TikTok:

I’ll see you in court (at the marriage registry) (I love you)

Broadcasted on TikTok:

I’m always happy when I come home from shopping and the note on the table reminds me of what I wanted to buy.

Going viral on Facebook:

Filling my PEZ dispenser with Ibuprofen for whimsical pain relief.

Trending via Snapchat:

No Botox. I need to furrow my brow when people say dumb things.

Spotted on Telegram:

I’ve been a main character since birth.

Trending via Reddit:

When gearing up for a mountain climbing adventure it is important to remember to no.

Shared recently on Messenger:

Sundays are no place for pants or responsibility.

Broadcasted on TikTok:

I got all my marriage skills from watching Al Bundy.

Activity Log ✨

154 Funny anything quotes

More funny anything quotes 👇

All funny anything quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Social Media Stars ⭐

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Activity Log ✨