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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇵🇹 has shared:

Of course babies cry when flying, their entire understanding of planes centers around them being eaten.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has copied:

The guy that said laughter is the best medicine obviously wasn’t suffering from diarrhea.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has shared:

Accordion to a recent survey, inserting musical instruments into sentences largely goes unnoticed.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has shared:

Being an adult is when you ask the babysitter when you should be home.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has shared:

Taylor Swift should write a song about people who don’t return their shopping carts to the corrals.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has downloaded:

Sorry for bouncing my leg. I’m not allowed to bash my head into the walls anymore.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has bookmarked:

Dear ghosts, if you can move stuff around and flicker lights, then you can use a mop.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has viewed:

I have two reactions when I leave the house: Ew, the people. Ew, the weather.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has shared:

Coworker: Hey, circling back on that thing we talked about in December. Me: Stop living in the past!

Someone from 🇻🇪 has viewed:

Roses are red, I’m staying in bed. I’ve made no plans, besides pretending I’m dead.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

832 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,994

Funny Quotes Topics

13,936

Funny Quotes Images

10,994

Updated

51 minutes ago

Users Online

3,451

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Instagram:

Marry someone the same size as you to avoid decades of annoyance adjusting the seats and mirrors in the car.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

We go together like Drunk and Disorderly.

Seen just now on Twitch:

My toxic trait is that I expect people to have common sense, and I get mad when they don’t.

Breaking via Facebook:

When you meet twins, demand to speak with the one in charge.

Making waves on Twitch:

Does everyone have that one colleague at work who puts you in a bad mood just by looking at them?

Just shared via TikTok:

Everyone’s an expert after the fact.

Just shared via Telegram:

Having a peanut allergy has to be so wild. Like, imagine you’re at a baseball game and there are people chucking bags of rattlesnakes past your head.

Trending via Pinterest:

Men love to show you a YouTube video. It is a sign of deep respect in their culture.

Trending via Telegram:

Wow, you have a very impressive collection of strange tendencies.

Spotted on Threads:

I can’t believe she picked her husband, her boyfriend and her other boyfriend over me.

Home » Funny Bad Quotes » Page 3

170 Funny bad quotes

More funny bad quotes 👇

1 month ago
Share →: Sorry, I laughed at your bad joke. I was trying to flirt.

Commentary:
"Oops, my giggles were smoother than my pickup lines! 😂❤️"
1 month ago
Share →: I deserve a treat when I have a bad week, but I also deserve a treat when I have a good week. I simply always deserve treats.

Commentary:
"Life motto: Treat yo'self! 🎉🍫 Because whether it's a plot twist or a happy ending, snacks are always the main character! 😄🍪"
1 month ago
Share →: I’m not totally useless. I can be used as a bad example.

Commentary:
"When life gives you lemons, be the zesty bad example! 🍋😜"
1 month ago
Share →: Almost all of my bad decisions are food-related.

Commentary:
"Same here—my taste buds are the real decision-makers! 🍕😂🥨"
2 months ago
Share →: Phone addiction got so bad that watching a movie feels productive.

Commentary:
Haha, same! My phone’s basically the director of my life now 🎬📱😂!
2 months ago
Share →: When you have bad handwriting, notes to yourself are just fun little riddles you get to solve later.

Commentary:
"Deciphering my notes is like living with an amateur escape room designer. 🤔🕵️‍♂️✍️ #MysteryInTheMargins"
2 months ago
Share →: I feel bad for Slash. He bought a goofy hat in like 1986 and now he has to wear it until the day he dies.

Commentary:
"Imagine being committed to a hat longer than most marriages! 😆🎩 #TilDeathDoUsPart"
2 months ago
Share →: Having a bathroom switch outside a bathroom and a sibling is a bad combination.

Commentary:
"Bathroom lights: the ultimate sibling pranking tool! Just add a brother and shake well. 😂💡🚪"
2 months ago
Share →: What an awful time to be even remotely aware of what is going on in the world.

Commentary:
"Current world status: 'Sorry, I can't brain today. Too many tabs open!' 🤯🌍 #Overloaded"
2 months ago
Share →: Cheeseburgers should be free for anyone that’s in a bad mood.

Commentary:
"When life gets cheesy, grab a freebie! 🍔😄 #MoodBooster"

For even more funny bad quotes, check out the next page, if available 👇

All funny bad quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇯🇴 has viewed:

Too young to retire, too poor to quit and too fat to strip – so let’s move on.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has shared:

IKEA is the swedish word for “relationship meltdown in a public place.”

Someone from 🇫🇮 has viewed:

A beautiful woman should never have to send an email. Yet, such tragedies occur every day.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has downloaded:

I’m just falling in love with my problems now. Maybe they’ll leave me too.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has viewed:

Yes officer, I’d like to file a restraining order against my dentist’s appointment reminder system.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has viewed:

If you love a friend, let them go. If they come back with coffee, it was meant to be.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has downloaded:

Coffee ain’t gonna cut it today, I need to be chased through the woods by a machete-wielding maniac.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has bookmarked:

Haggis – the meal you have to stomach twice.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has viewed:

if you think i’m rude, you should hear the lil voice in my head.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has downloaded:

Gutted to report that spending a day offline, touching grass with my friends, was phenomenal for my mental health.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Discord:

People call me a “Trekkie,” but I’m not. I’ve only seen Star Wars a couple of times.

Spotted on Facebook:

I always knew I’d get old. How fast it happened was a bit of a surprise though.

Making waves on Twitch:

I would like you to meet my significant other. Her name is Cheese.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

Why the hell is my laundry bin always full? I’m not even going anywhere.

Going viral on Pinterest:

I’m at the age where, if you ask me to go out after 9 p.m., I’m definitely not coming.

Seen just now on Telegram:

I didn’t really feel old until my doctor hit me with the “at your age…”

Spotted on Slack:

I’d imagine the sound of clowns having sex would just be a cacophony of bicycle horns.

Making waves on Discord:

If McDonald’s sold hot dogs, would you be able to, with a straight face, order a McWiener and tell them to supersize it?

Trending via WhatsApp:

I need to stop living by the words “life is short.” It’s hurting my bank account.

Shared recently on WeChat:

Someone asked me what my hobby was and I realized that my favorite hobby is doing absolutely nothing.

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Activity Log ✨

170 Funny bad quotes

More funny bad quotes 👇

For even more funny bad quotes, check out the next page, if available 👇

All funny bad quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Every morning when that damn alarm clock goes off, I just feel it so much: A million-dollar inheritance suits me much better than an office job.

If the earth is so flat, explain why cats haven’t pushed everything off it yet. You can’t.

As long as everything is exactly the way I want it, I’m totally flexible.

I bet the inventor of the cannon would be relieved to know that they’re mostly about t-shirts now.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

I will play my favorite song until the artist comes out of my phone to ask for water.

Socks teach us that being made for each other does not mean being together.

I don’t think you all understand. If Taylor Swift didn’t have a private jet, she’d be Taylor Slow.

If at first you don’t succeed, try two more times so your failure is statistically significant.

I like to push myself out of my comfort zone by sometimes sitting on the other end of my sofa.

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

My anti-theft device in my car is that it’s manual.

The fewer friends at your birthday party means more cake for you. Follow me for more life hacks.

My desire to be informed is currently at odds with my desire to remain sane.

Odd—my boss told me to meet him at the abandoned quarry at midnight for my performance evaluation.

Airports are so funny. Like, “Oh, you’re flying across the country? Would you like to hang out in a mall first?”

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

If you add orange juice to Jason Momoa, you get a Jason Mimosa.

You can just make up words and if you say them in a Scottish accent, people will think they’re real: Looka the wee janglers on that tary bibbit.

The real threat to Democracy is the Bureaucracy.

Naked and Afraid because there’s a spider in the shower with me.

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