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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇯🇴 has bookmarked:

Sleep with each other, or someone else will!

Someone from 🇪🇬 has bookmarked:

I haven’t posted a selfie in a while, but I’m still very cute. Just to keep you updated.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has shared:

Onesies are amazing till you have to really pee in the middle of the night then you question all your life’s decisions.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has viewed:

I’d like to place an order for a large kiss and an extra-long hug.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has downloaded:

I’m so bored, I’m gonna join a poly-relationship and stage a coup and kick the main one out.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has copied:

Double chins are better than double faces.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has shared:

You have been a very bad boy. Now go to my room!

Someone from 🇲🇬 has viewed:

I’ve broken all my New Year’s Resolutions so now I’m moving on to laws of nature.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has shared:

Nighty night! Don’t let the horror of existence bite.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has viewed:

I never used to worry about death but now I’m terrified it will break my winning Wordle streak.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2433 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,595

Funny Quotes Topics

15,263

Funny Quotes Images

12,595

Updated

13 minutes ago

Users Online

3,464

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Snapchat:

There are two wolves inside me, but please no one tell my landlord.

Making waves on Pinterest:

To the spirits in my walls: going to the store, be right back.

Making waves on Reddit:

Love is like a bird. Sometimes flying around me but then moving on.

Going viral on Snapchat:

Having a sore throat as a giraffe must really suck.

Trending via Telegram:

Be the reason your therapist reevaluates their entire career.

Trending via Facebook:

No dating apps this year. Just going to walk around and smile at people and send an occasional unhinged DM.

Broadcasted on Messenger:

If someone asks you if you’re in the queue, what they actually mean is “you’re really shit at queuing, aren’t you?”

Spotted on LinkedIn:

If you wait until the last minute to do something, it only takes a minute to do it.

Just landed via Facebook:

Diet day #1: All the unhealthy food has been removed from the house. It was delicious.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

The brain is a wonderful organ; it starts working the moment you get up in the morning and does not stop until you get into the office.

Home » Funny Daily Quotes » Page 3

154 Funny daily quotes

More funny daily quotes 👇

2 weeks ago
Share →: Trying to eat with my left hand because I need a little excitement in my life.

Commentary:
Living life on the edge… or at least on the southpaw side! 🍽️😅🙃
2 weeks ago
Share →: Another day waiting, and wishing, and wanting.

Commentary:
Just another day in the life of a horribly patient procrastinator! 😅⏳✨
2 weeks ago
Share →: You don’t do laundry once a week. You do it constantly, endlessly, forever—until you die.

Commentary:
Living the spin cycle life—perpetually sorting colors from whites like a never-ending quest! 🧺😅🌀
2 weeks ago
Share →: Every day is a D-Day, if you’re a stutterer.

Commentary:
Trying to order a "ppppizza" just turned into the longest siege of my life 🍕😂🗣️
2 weeks ago
Share →: I’m either at work, going to work, coming home from work, sleeping for work, getting ready for work, or thinking about work.

Commentary:
Work is my new personality. Send help! 🛠️🤔😴😂
2 weeks ago
Share →: Can someone please just give me a participation trophy for making it through today, please?

Commentary:
Sounds like we all deserve a "Survived Today" medal – participation trophies for everyone! 🏆🎉😊
2 weeks ago
Share →: I feel like my greatest accomplishment today has been not saying what I’m thinking out loud.

Commentary:
The struggle is real when your inside voice wants to become your outside voice 😂🤐
2 weeks ago
Share →: Microdosing hell by checking the web every day.

Commentary:
Feeling edgy? Just browsing the web – it's like dipping your toes into the chaos pool! 🔥😂📱
2 weeks ago
Share →: Rest here, weary doom-scroller, you’ve seen enough bullshit for one day.

Commentary:
Doom-scroller achievement unlocked: Level 2024 complete! Time to recharge your sarcasm meter. 😎📱🔋
2 weeks ago
Share →: “I’m not afraid to admit when I’m wrong. For example, I thought it was a good idea to leave the house today, which, as it turns out, was a terrible mistake.”

Commentary:
Every time I leave the house, I'm reminded why sweatpants exist 😂🙈

For even more funny daily quotes, check out the next page, if available 👇

All funny daily quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇳 has bookmarked:

We are both insane on the web, I think we can make it work.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has bookmarked:

If you see me out in public but we haven’t talked since high school, let’s keep it that way.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has viewed:

Everyone’s gangsta until grandma grabs that wooden spoon.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has bookmarked:

I won’t bore you with my problems because all of my problems are fascinating.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has shared:

I probably think this song is about me.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has viewed:

Imagine hating me and i’m just over here doing a much better job at hating myself than any of y’all could do.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has copied:

Typos keep me humble. Every email is a gamble.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has downloaded:

Next time I lose my mind I swear I’m not even going to look for it any more.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has copied:

Somebody needs to get my shit together.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has downloaded:

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Threads:

This gratitude journal looks a lot like a grocery list.

Breaking via Slack:

Some people’s laughs are funnier than the joke.

Seen just now on WeChat:

Just washed my windows and not a single bloke came out and said ‘You can do mine next!’ This used to be a real country.

Making waves on Discord:

A big part of my wife’s cardio routine is rolling away from me in bed.

Going viral on Facebook:

Nephew showed me his toys on FaceTime, and I had no toys to show him back. Humiliating.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

154 Funny daily quotes

More funny daily quotes 👇

For even more funny daily quotes, check out the next page, if available 👇

All funny daily quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

“But it’s summer,” is going to be my excuse for everything from now until the end of September.

When people say they’re speechless, I always hope they mean it, but they never stop talking.

Gravity called. It’s sick of holding me up.

I don’t know which aunty needs to hear this, but focus on your own child.

If I was an outlaw in the Wild West, my face would be on unwanted posters.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

I would like to thank my arms for always being by my side. My legs for always supporting me. And my fingers because I can always count on them.

Me, seeing a man proposing to a woman in public: Hey, this guy bothering you?

Did you know electronics need smoke to work? Once the smoke comes out of them, they stop working.

The nice thing about getting older is that you don’t even have to be drunk to fall in the bushes.

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Seeing people exercising outside my house really motivated me to get up and close the blinds.

Happy birthday to everyone, for the rest of your lives. I can’t do this anymore.

I could put my keys in the same spot every day, but why deprive myself of a treasure hunt that makes me late.

Still holding out hope that these intrusive thoughts are just gas.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

I sign all anniversary cards with ‘Way to commit to the bit!’

No, I love darkness at 5pm and the death of a nation.

Body: time to fall asleep. Brain: hey, that’s an interesting thought, here’s six billion more.

The Recipe for Disaster in me, recognizes the Appetite for Destruction in you.

I bring a very “are you going to eat your pickle” vibe to lunch meetings.

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