11 funny emergency quotes - Wordgag ツ

Working as a 911 operator but hanging up when someone starts screaming because I’m an empath, and it overwhelms me.

Feb 3, 2026

If you’re out shopping this week, be nice to the retail workers. It’s not their fault you waited to shop until Mary’s water broke.

Feb 3, 2026

In the event of a water landing, place the life jacket over your head and swipe your credit card to inflate.

Feb 2, 2026

In the event of a tornado or other such natural disaster, place wieners and/or cheese slices in your pockets, so the search dogs will find you first.

Feb 1, 2026

In filling out an application, where it says, “In case of emergency notify”, I put “Doctor.”

Jan 30, 2026

I need an emergency cheeseburger.

Jan 29, 2026

Traumatized people will navigate emergency situations with calm surety but then have an anxiety attack in a grocery store.

Jan 29, 2026

Please stop calling 911 when you see me dancing. I’m fine!

Jan 28, 2026

Laying in a hammock is essentially saying, “I hope there are no emergencies.”

Jan 21, 2026

The human body is amazing. One half-open eye and the brain under emergency power are enough to make coffee.

Jan 21, 2026

I’m so single. When they ask me for an emergency contact, I put the neighbor’s dog.

Jan 20, 2026