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New funny quotes: 56 this month

15,809 funny quotes and pics

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Updated: Mar 13, 2026

 

 

 

 

17 Funny ghosts quotes

Funny ghosts quotes 👻 bring a hilarious twist to spooky tales, turning eerie encounters into laugh-out-loud moments! Whether you’re into haunted houses or playful poltergeists, these witty lines will have you giggling instead of trembling. Perfect for sharing with friends or spicing up your Halloween vibes 🎃✨, get ready to enjoy the lighter side of the supernatural world!

If three ghosts visited me on Christmas, I’d make them play Mario Party with me.

Posted onFeb 3, 2026

It actually is crazy how many people I know would benefit from being visited by three ghosts.

Posted onFeb 3, 2026

I feel like this holiday season, it’s important to remind people of the true meaning of Christmas: ghosts terrorizing rich people in the middle of the night until they agree to pay their employees more.

Posted onFeb 3, 2026

Farts are just the ghosts of the things we eat.

Posted onFeb 2, 2026

To the spirits in my walls: going to the store, be right back.

Posted onFeb 1, 2026

You should always wash your sheets once a week in case they are really ghosts and need a shower.

Posted onJan 31, 2026

Her heart is an abandoned garden filled with ghosts and dying flowers.

Posted onJan 29, 2026

Ouija boards are like unannounced phone calls for ghosts.

Posted onJan 29, 2026

Nothing angers me more than tall ghosts in horror movies. No one born in 1782 was that tall. Do your research, screenwriters.

Posted onJan 23, 2026

Notice how ghosts never wear fitted sheets?

Posted onJan 23, 2026

I’m not afraid of ghosts because everyone who’s mad at me is still alive.

Posted onJan 23, 2026

If someone ghosts you, respect the dead and never disturb them again.

Posted onJan 23, 2026

Why didn’t Scooby Doo smell that the ghosts were human?

Posted onJan 23, 2026

Dear ghosts, if you can move stuff around and flicker lights, then you can use a mop.

Posted onJan 22, 2026

Definitely thought I’d be solving mysteries and unmasking ghosts in a van with a dog by this point in my life.

Posted onJan 22, 2026

Tornados are just a bunch of ghosts fighting over a cow.

Posted onJan 21, 2026

I never had kids because little kids see too many ghosts and that’s something I’d rather not know about.

Posted onJan 21, 2026

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