Two of the best things in life are laughing and orgasms. I want to make you do both a lot.

Two of the best things in life are laughing and orgasms. I want to make you do both a lot.

Commentary:
"Whoever said you can't have it all clearly hasn't met me 😏 Let's aim for a life filled with laughter and pleasure – it's all about that good vibe energy! 😂💥 #FunnyQuotes #LifeGoals"

The more you embrace your crazy side, the more fun life becomes.

The more you embrace your crazy side, the more fun life becomes.

Commentary:
"Embrace your inner nutcase and watch life go from 'meh' to 'WHEEEE!' 🤪🎉 Who needs sanity when you can have adventure? Let your crazy flag fly high and the good times will follow! 🚀😜 #CrazyIsTheNewCool"

I don't have time for anything that doesn't set my soul on fire.

I don’t have time for anything that doesn’t set my soul on fire.

Commentary:
"Sorry, negativity, I've got no time for you 🔥✨ Let's keep the soul's burning party going! 💃🕺"

One of the great joys in this life is looking at your pet's weird little teeth.

One of the great joys in this life is looking at your pet’s weird little teeth.

Commentary:
"Admiring your pet's quirky teeth is like finding hidden treasures in the world of adorable imperfections! 😬🐾 Embrace the dental charm of your furry friend and cherish those wonderfully weird pearly whites!"

Giving every single movie I watch a five star review because it’s just such a joy to be alive.

Giving every single movie I watch a five star review because it’s just such a joy to be alive.

Commentary:
"Looks like someone's living life on the five-star lane! 🌟🍿 Who needs critics when you've got an abundance of joy-sparking movies at your fingertips, right? Keep that positivity train rolling, movie buff!"

Don't give up, we must remain silly.

Don’t give up, we must remain silly.

Commentary:
"Don't throw in the towel just yet! 🚫🧳 Let's embrace our inner goofiness and keep pushing forward with a touch of whimsy. After all, who says we can't be serious about being silly? 😜💪 #SillyNotSorry"

I wish I could be as excited about being awake as my dog is about me being awake.

I wish I could be as excited about being awake as my dog is about me being awake.

Commentary:
Isn't it funny how our furry friends can be so full of energy and excitement, ready to take on the day at the crack of dawn? 🐶☀️ Meanwhile, we humans stumble around looking for that elusive cup of coffee, still trying to convince ourselves that mornings are a good idea. Maybe we should take a leaf out of our dog's book and embrace that morning enthusiasm – or at least aim for half of their level of perkiness! 😉

As long as I can dip something in something, I’m happy.

As long as I can dip something in something, I’m happy.

Commentary:
"Life's simple pleasures summed up in one saucy quote! 🍟🍔 Dipping sauces make the world go round, right? Just dip it, dip it real good! 😄💃"

Is it stupid and irresponsible? Yes. Will it make me happy? Also yes.

Is it stupid and irresponsible? Yes. Will it make me happy? Also yes.

Commentary:
Absolutely, sometimes the best decisions balance stupidity and happiness in perfect harmony! 🤪😄 Life is too short for responsible choices all the time, right? Enjoy the wild ride! 🎉🌟

Out of sheer boredom, I opened the front door and rang the doorbell. I was so happy.

Out of sheer boredom, I opened the front door and rang the doorbell. I was so happy.

Commentary:
"Just your friendly neighborhood doorbell enthusiast, spreading joy one *ding* at a time! 🚪🔔😄"