610 funny know quotes - Page 8 - Wordgag ツ

Kids these days don’t know the shame of having to explain yo-yo injuries.

Jan 28, 2026

Someone has left me a voicemail. I don’t know what to do. Open the phone app? The contacts? Do I turn on the TV?

Jan 28, 2026

They should make the last foot of dental floss red so you know when you’re about to run out.

Jan 28, 2026

I commented to a friend that I didn’t know how goofy Scream was. It turns out I have never seen Scream. I saw Scary Movie.

Jan 28, 2026

How to write complaints: “Dear customer service, first of all, you should know that I am typing this with my middle finger.”

Jan 28, 2026

How does pasta water know when you’re not looking?

Jan 28, 2026

I know which nation I like best. Hibernation.

Jan 28, 2026

I know it’s traditional to start work at 9, but I think we could lower that age to 8.

Jan 23, 2026

If you innocently act like you don’t know, people will explain dirty words to you and it’s hilarious.

Jan 23, 2026

Always be kind. You never know who might own a jacuzzi.

Jan 23, 2026

“Nothing beats in-person interaction”. Yeah, with someone I know and love, not Denise from finance.

Jan 23, 2026

I don’t know how to explain it, but sometimes cheese just falls into my cart at the grocery store.

Jan 23, 2026

Perhaps the best thing about getting older is that I no longer want to know everything.

Jan 23, 2026

I don’t know if I’m pregnant or what, but I’ve been craving 3 million dollars so bad.

Jan 23, 2026

I feel sorry for Netflix era kids. They will never know the high stakes adrenaline of running away in an ad break, with the beckoning call of a sibling screaming “It’s ON!” to send you hurdling over furniture to get back in time.

Jan 23, 2026

Getting to know someone these days is impossible. No one is really single, everyone has something going on, is hung up on their ex or is otherwise damaged in some way.

Jan 23, 2026

Most venomous snakes just make “Tsssss”. But I know some that say “Hi”.

Jan 23, 2026

“How is the job search going?” First of all, that is a violent question. And it hurts me, by the way. And second, how the hell should I know.

Jan 23, 2026

I know this ain’t smart, but that never stopped me before.

Jan 23, 2026

One of the best examples of someone posing a question that they already know the answer to is the WeightWatchers website asking me if I accept cookies.

Jan 23, 2026

Teens be like, “You know that crumbled up piece of paper that’s been on the table all week? I need it for school.”

Jan 23, 2026

Getting a lawn sign so people know what I think today.

Jan 23, 2026

Someone asked me how much I normally spend on a bottle of wine. Answering “usually an hour” wasn’t the right answer. I know this now.

Jan 23, 2026

Always keep a dog eared book on your nightstand so that people think you know how to read.

Jan 23, 2026

It is a shame that nothing is built in America anymore. I just bought a TV that said: “Built in Antenna”. I don’t even know where that is.

Jan 23, 2026

I know everything is expensive right now, but just remember correcting people’s grammar online is still free.

Jan 23, 2026

I already know how it will end. One of my children will unplug my life support to charge their phone.

Jan 23, 2026

I don’t know why we traded horses for cars. Your car won’t stop in front of a river and be like, “no way dumbass, we aren’t going to make that.”

Jan 23, 2026

The worst part about re-watching Home Alone is you just know Kevin’s parents bought this house for like $250K.

Jan 23, 2026

The guy in the stall beside doesn’t know he can shut off his camera shutter.

Jan 23, 2026

I bought a book on Feng Shui, but I don’t know where to put it.

Jan 23, 2026

I don’t know why doctors only give stickers to kids? Like, hello, I was also brave today.

Jan 23, 2026

“No idea” doesn’t mean I don’t know the answer. I just don’t want to have a conversation.

Jan 23, 2026

You know shit’s about to get real when I put on yoga pants before dessert.

Jan 23, 2026

You know where I’d like to go? Missing.

Jan 23, 2026

I know how to use an abacus as a tambourine.

Jan 23, 2026

Isn’t it weird that we have one hand that knows how to do everything and then one hand that just sits there like ‘I don’t know how to hold a pencil.’

Jan 23, 2026

My goal for this year is just to make sure the aliens know I’m on their side.

Jan 23, 2026

Whenever a study shows excessive screen time causes brain damage I’m like “yeah, me know”.

Jan 23, 2026