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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇪 has downloaded:

Where does everyone go to get kisses? I haven’t figured this out yet.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has copied:

The actors who signed on to that first Avatar movie have job security like no other in Hollywood.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has copied:

iPhone: I’m gonna update your software tonight while you sleep. Next morning, iPhone: I couldn’t do it, bro. Just didn’t feel right. Vibe was off.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has bookmarked:

You don’t scare me. I used to have to call and ask a girl’s parents if she was there.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has downloaded:

Being an adult is like folding a fitted sheet.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has copied:

You know what goes great with helping your kid with math homework? Vodka!

Someone from 🇵🇼 has bookmarked:

Duolingo should have an “I’m going on holiday to this place very soon” setting so it teaches you “can I have the bill” and so on instead of “the cow boils an egg”.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has bookmarked:

I’m a Leo so I just eat the other astrological signs.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has viewed:

It’s kinda weird that in order to go to sleep you have to pretend like you are already sleeping.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has bookmarked:

Being single for Valentine’s Day is way better than being in the wrong relationship.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Feb 3, 2026

3,751

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on Reddit:

Only thing sexier than a bad decisions is a bad decision with queso.

Spotted on YouTube:

That little pocket on jeans is the perfect size for the money I have left over after I pay all my bills.

Going viral on Facebook:

Just paid rent. Now I have a place to starve in.

Just landed via Snapchat:

One year of friendship, and I’ve not seen your breasts? Are we really friends?

Shared recently on TikTok:

Before you marry a person, you should first make them use a computer with slow internet to see who they really are.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

A man rejecting my advances can’t hurt me. I have a dog who leaves the bed every time I climb in.

Seen just now on Slack:

Are you telling me these billionaires don’t have my best interests at heart?!

Live now on Telegram:

Your first non-broke girlfriend will change your whole perspective about relationships.

Just shared via WeChat:

Everyone who got my kids board games for Christmas, when are you coming back to play with them?

Spreading quickly via Pinterest:

Sarah Connor would be awfully disappointed in us all, letting this Grok into our lives.

81 Funny leisure quotes

Funny leisure quotes bring a burst of laughter and joy to your downtime moments, transforming ordinary relaxation into an extraordinary 😂 adventure. Whether you’re lounging on the couch 🛋️, soaking up the sun ☀️, or sipping on a refreshing drink 🍹, these witty quips add a sprinkle of humor and keep the good vibes rolling. Dive into this playful realm and let your leisure time be filled with giggles and smiles!

New funny leisure quotes 👇

Thoughts & prayers to all of us back at work tomorrow after the colossal mistake of thinking we’d be lads of leisure forever, for some reason.

5 days ago

after, back, colleague, exhaustion, forever, humor, lads, leisure, mistake, prayer, prayers, reason, return, thinking, thoughts, tomorrow, us, work
I want time to watch more films, but I also want time to read more books, but I also want time to look at more nothing.

6 days ago

book, books, film, films, humor, i, leisure, management, multitasking, nothing, procrastination, read, relaxation, time, time management, want, watch
A weekend in a log cabin with a hot tub sounds perfect right now.

6 days ago

activity, cabin, getaway, hot, hot tub, leisure, log, log cabin, outdoor, outdoor activity, perfect, relaxation, right, sounds, tub, vacation, weekend
Pouring rain, football on TV, empty house; the stuff dreams are made of.

6 days ago

activity, dream, dreams, empty, empty house, football, house, indoor, indoor activity, leisure, rain, relaxation, stuff, television, TV
“I’m at a point in my life where my favorite thing to do is nothing.”

6 days ago

doing, doing nothing, favorite, favorite thing, humor, laziness, leisure, life, nothing, point, relaxation, thing, where
Love to come home after a long day’s work and relax with one thousand short-form videos.

7 days ago

after, days, entertainment, home, humor, leisure, love, relax, short-form, short-form video, video, videos, work
Life is just a series of obstacles preventing you from reading your book.

7 days ago

book, distraction, frustration, humor, just, leisure, life, obstacle, obstacles, reading, series
My favorite thing to do on the weekend is not leave my house.

7 days ago

comfort, day, favorite, home, house, introvert, lazy, lazy day, leave, leisure, relaxation, stay, stay home, thing, weekend
I speak for everyone when I say that finding the balance between watching movies, watching TV shows, and playing video games is harder than any job.

7 days ago

activity, balance, entertainment, everyone, finding, fun, fun activity, game, games, harder, hobby, i, job, leisure, management, movie, playing, say, show, shows, speak, time, time management, TV, TV Show, video, video game, watching
I can’t wait to retire so I can get up at 6 a.m. and go drive around really slow and make everybody late for work.

1 week ago

6, am, around, delay, drive, driving, early, early morning, humor, i, late, leisure, morning, retire, retirement, slow, slow drive, tardiness, wait, work, work delay

For even more funny leisure quotes, hit next 👇

All funny leisure quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections

✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

54 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Inventing the Grinch: “Santa needs a Wario!”

41 shares on Instagram this month:

Getting the house to yourself for a night is basically winning the lottery.

100 shares on WeChat this month:

Unless it’s manic, I don’t want to hear about your Monday.

50 shares on Slack this month:

To everyone I offended this year: do better next year, so I don’t have to do it again.

33 shares on X this month:

Zoom is really only for one thing: realizing our dream of staring at ourselves while talking to other people.

83 shares on TikTok this month:

It’s so important to have people in your life who expand your snack horizons.

13 shares on X this month:

I followed a diet but it didn’t follow me back, so I unfollowed it.

43 shares on Snapchat this month:

The key to happiness: 1/ order a pizza. 2/ eat that pizza. 3/ repeat!

92 shares on Telegram this month:

The miracle of DoorDash is that I just pick up my phone, punch a few things into it, and within half an hour I have, at my door, a $52 salad.

30 shares on Slack this month:

I am the proud father of two content providers. I mean children. Two children.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

16 folks are currently checking 👀

For the record, I use a turntable.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Imagine being social on social media.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

I remixed a remix, it was back to normal.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

First date idea: Couples Colonoscopies.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

I would love to change the world, but they won’t give me the source code.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Seeing a grown man stumble when the train moves is disgusting. How will you provide for anyone?

13 folks are currently checking 👀

I want my house spotless, but kicking my kids out seems wrong.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Carrots are a great thing to eat when you’re hungry, and want to stay that way.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m not lazy, I just really enjoy doing nothing.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

I put my pants on just like everybody else: when the police tell me to.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,628

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇼 has copied:

Any day now, there will be a child born and named Labubu.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has viewed:

It really is Monday every 15 minutes.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has viewed:

I shaved my legs today and it was the fastest 3lbs I’ve ever lost in my life.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has viewed:

What an awful time to be even remotely aware of what is going on in the world.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has copied:

Women do not snore. The sound they make at night is just the rewinding of the vocal cords.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has viewed:

Doesn’t matter, Your Honor! I, for one, found it very funny.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has downloaded:

I wish I loved exercising as much as I love not exercising.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has viewed:

No more relationships for me, the last one was an embarrassment to my gangsta.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has viewed:

You’re in her DMs, she’s in my bed whining that it’s too cold. Can you come get her?

Someone from 🇲🇱 has viewed:

As I get older, I’m understanding why everything needs to be done before 12 p.m.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Discord:

We need to stop making more Christmas music. We have enough.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

I always do my best sleeping in the 10 minutes before my alarm goes off.

Shared recently on TikTok:

The thief who stole my iPhone could face time.

Making waves on Instagram:

If I were a bird, I know who I’d poop on.

Just landed via Instagram:

I can now tell the hour of the day by which part of my body needs a heating pad.

Trending via X:

Once I matched with a guy and ended up finding out he lived in my neighborhood, so I told him to go outside and scream, and he did. And I heard it.

Shared recently on Facebook:

The hottest thing a man can do is exactly what he said he was going to.

Spotted on Messenger:

This generation of men makes celibacy so easy for women.

Broadcasted on Instagram:

How does spaghetti know that I’m wearing light-colored clothes?

Going bananas on YouTube:

Due to not wanting to, I will not be.

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