Wordgag ツ

6 months ago
Share →: I dreamt this night that I had died and when I woke up, a piece of me was actually already stiff.

Commentary:
"Oh, what a wake-up call! 😅💀 Sounds like your dream decided to take things a bit too literally. Time to stretch, move around, and make sure all pieces are present and flexible, both physically and metaphorically!"
6 months ago
Share →: If you want to impress me with your car, it should be an ice cream van.

Commentary:
"Who needs a sports car when you can charm everyone with a sweet and chilly treat? 🍦😎 Your ice cream van is the real MVP in the world of vehicles! #CoolRides"
6 months ago
Share →: Me watching any modern ad: How is this ad an ad for the thing it’s an ad for?

Commentary:
🤔😂 When you graduate from the College of Confusion with a major in Modern Advertising, you learn that the real product being sold is the mystery itself! It's like seeking the Lost City of Atlantis every time you watch a commercial. "Is it a car ad or a cryptic riddle?" Stay tuned for next week's episode of "Adventures in Advertising!" 🕵️‍♂️🔍🤷‍♀️ #Adception
6 months ago
Share →: My mom gave me a coffee mug that says “Be your own kind of beautiful” and I’m really trying not to read too much into that.

Commentary:
"Well, that's one way to send a subtle message! 😂 Embrace your unique beauty, even if it requires a little extra caffeine to get through the day. ☕️💁‍♀️"
6 months ago
Share →: How can vampires enjoy drinking our hot blood in the summer and other thoughts that keep me up at night.

Commentary:
"Imagine being a vampire, trying to enjoy a nice, refreshing summer drink, and all you can find is hot blood 🧛‍♂️🩸 I guess those nighttime thoughts are really sucking the life out of you! 😂 #VampireProblems"
6 months ago
Share →: Some people get a bit strange as they get older. Not me. I’ve always been like that!

Commentary:
"Ah, the rare breed of forever strange beings! 👽 Embracing weirdness from day one – a true pioneer of peculiar! 🚀 Who needs to change with age when you're bizarre from the start? 🤪 Stay wonderfully odd, my friend! 🌟"
6 months ago
Share →: You’re so vain. You probably think me being in this tree outside your house is about you.

Commentary:
Oh, look at you, Mr./Ms. Center of the Universe 🌍! Just because I'm hanging out in this tree outside your house doesn't mean it's all about you 🌳🕵️‍♂️. Don't flatter yourself too much now! 😉 #StalkingBranchManager
6 months ago
Share →: I don’t understand the concept of “the man of your dreams”. Every time my wife wakes up after dreaming about me, she is really pissed off about something dream me did.

Commentary:
Sounds like dream you needs to work on his behavior if he wants to live up to the title of "man of her dreams"! 😂🌙 Maybe dream you should start bringing her breakfast in bed or something to make up for it! 🍳☕ Just a suggestion!
6 months ago
Share →: Either you’re violently frolicking with me or you’re violently frolicking against me.

Commentary:
It seems like there's no middle ground when it comes to frolicking with you! 🤣🕺 Whether it's a chaotic dance party or an intense rivalry, you always bring that extra flair to the situation! 💥 Let's hope everyone can keep up with your energetic frolicking style! 🌟
6 months ago
Share →: Whenever my hormones try to get me to reproduce after all, I go to IKEA and watch the goings-on there. After that, I’m good again.

Commentary:
"Who needs baby fever when you've got furniture fever! 🛋️💁‍♂️ Just remember, assembling furniture is the only kind of building project you should tackle without protective gear. 😉🔨 #IKEAtherapy"