164 Funny misunderstanding quotes

• Maybe your dog is barking at my luggage because he doesn’t enjoy his job, officer.

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  3 weeks ago

  barking, conversation, dog, enjoy, humor, job, luggage, maybe, misunderstanding, officer

• If you innocently act like you don’t know, people will explain dirty words to you and it’s hilarious.

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  3 weeks ago

  act, dirty, dirty word, explain, explanation, hilarious, humor, innocence, interaction, know, misunderstanding, people, playfulness, social, social interaction, word, words

• Ever since I learned the show is called Suits because of lawsuits and not because they wear suits, I have harbored a hot white rage within me beyond anything mankind has ever known.

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  3 weeks ago

  anything, ever, frustration, hot, humor, i, irony, lawsuits, me, misunderstanding, rage, revelation, show, Suits, television, wear, white

• Someone asked me how much I normally spend on a bottle of wine. Answering “usually an hour” wasn’t the right answer. I know this now.

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  3 weeks ago

  answer, answering, asked, bottle, conversation, drink, hour, humor, i, know, me, misunderstanding, much, right, someone, spend, spending, wine

• I thought the noise my husband’s stomach was making was never going to end last night until I realized it was a motorbike outside.

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  3 weeks ago

  end, funny moment, going, humor, husband, i, last, making, misunderstanding, moment, motorbike, never, night, noise, outside, stomach, thought

• Thinking the bodega owner likes you is exactly the same as thinking the stripper likes you.

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  3 weeks ago

  bodega, exactly, humor, likes, misunderstanding, owner, perception, relationship, same, stripper, thinking

• Is it still murder if they said, “Some other time,” but I thought they said smother time?

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  3 weeks ago

  humor, i, misunderstanding, murder, smother, still, thought, time, wordplay

• I offered my nephew a donut and he said “no thanks, I’m not hungry right now” and I don’t think this little guy knows how donuts work.

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  3 weeks ago

  donut, donuts, food, guy, humor, hungry, i, kids, knows, little, misunderstanding, nephew, right, thanks, think, work

• I lost my job at NASA Mission Control today. I misheard when they said, “It’s lunch time.”

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  3 weeks ago

  control, humor, i, job, job loss, loss, lost, lunch, mission, Mission Control, misunderstanding, Nasa, time, today, workplace

• “Don’t take this the wrong way!” Translation: Prepare for insult.

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  3 weeks ago

  communication, humor, insult, misunderstanding, prepare, sarcasm, take, translation, warning, wrong

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