For the record, I use a turntable.

For the record, I use a turntable.

Commentary:
"Oh, you still use a turntable? Bringing back the retro vibes, I see! 🎶🕺 Old school cool or just avoiding the skip button – the world may never know! 🔄💿 #VinylIsFinal"

In the 90s, you could tell who won the rap battle by who was still alive.

In the 90s, you could tell who won the rap battle by who was still alive.

Commentary:
"Ah, the good ol' 90s rap battles: where survival was the ultimate flex! 💥💀 Let's just say, winning those battles was a real 'life or death' situation back then! 😂🎤 #RapBattleRoyale"

Back in my day there was so much toilet paper and so much eggs that we gathered at night and threw them at the houses of our enemies.

Back in my day there was so much toilet paper and so much eggs that we gathered at night and threw them at the houses of our enemies.

Commentary:
Ah, the good ol’ days when TP and eggs were the ultimate weapons of mischief! 🧻🥚 Nothing says "I dislike you, but also appreciate good hygiene" quite like a midnight egg toss. 🌙💥 Just imagine the chaos and the not-so-subtle message it sends to your foes! 🔥😂

It’s so crazy how people are never down to just go get a burger. It didn’t used to be like this.

It’s so crazy how people are never down to just go get a burger. It didn’t used to be like this.

Commentary:
"Who knew burgers were so exclusive now? 🍔🙅‍♂️ Maybe they're just trying to avoid feeling 'beefed' up afterwards! 🤣 #BurgerElitists"

Nobody lures you into a gingerbread house in the forest anymore.

Nobody lures you into a gingerbread house in the forest anymore.

Commentary:
Looks like the gingerbread house real estate market in the forest has really plummeted 🍭🌲 Seems like witches are struggling to attract people with their baking skills these days! Maybe they should consider a more modern approach like food delivery apps to boost their customer base! 🧙‍♀️🍬 #WitchRealEstateStruggles

You know what I never see anymore are those old alcoholics with the weird noses.

You know what I never see anymore are those old alcoholics with the weird noses.

Commentary:
"Maybe they finally realized that oversized, bumpy noses are so last season! 🍷👃 Time to embrace a new trend, like fruity cocktails with tiny umbrellas and perfectly symmetrical noses! 😂 #FashionForwardDrinking"

My fondest childhood memory is being able to sleep through the entire night and waking up rested.

My fondest childhood memory is being able to sleep through the entire night and waking up rested.

Commentary:
"Ah, the good old days when our biggest achievement was a full night's sleep! 😴💤 Definitely a cherished memory that we all took for granted as kids. Now we're just chasing that elusive 'rested' feeling like it's a mythical creature! 🦄😂"

My retirement plan is time travel to the 80s.

My retirement plan is time travel to the 80s.

Commentary:
"Who needs a 401(k) when you've got a DeLorean 😎⏰ Blast from the past or leap into the future? The '80s are calling, and they want their parachute pants back! 🕺🕰️ #BackToTheFuture #RetirementGoals"

Sharpening a pencil at the bin was the childhood equivalent of taking a cigarette break.

Sharpening a pencil at the bin was the childhood equivalent of taking a cigarette break.

Commentary:
🤣 Ah, the rebellious thrill of sharpening a pencil at the bin! It was our little act of defiance, our moment of clandestine coolness in the schoolyard. Who needs a cigarette break when you've got a freshly sharpened #2 pencil, right? Childhood priorities at their finest! 🚬📝

Sometimes I miss the time when there was only one idiot per village.

Sometimes I miss the time when there was only one idiot per village.

Commentary:
Ah, the good old days when idiot distribution was a bit more manageable 🤪🏞️ There's definitely a charm to the simplicity of having just one village idiot to deal with!