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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇧 has bookmarked:

I bet the inventor of the cannon would be relieved to know that they’re mostly about t-shirts now.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has viewed:

Having to pee when you’re driving is problematic. Having to sneeze when you’re driving is even more problematic.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has viewed:

Gonna spend today following my cats into the kitchen and meowing at them until they give me treats.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has bookmarked:

My dog sure does give a lot of side eye for someone without a job.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has copied:

Being an adult is getting excited about buying new appliances.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has copied:

All billionaires must submit a list of five things they did for society in the last week or their wealth shall be confiscated.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has bookmarked:

I laugh at my own jokes because I am my target audience. Y’all just happen to be there.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has copied:

This body is a temple; I suicide bomb every day.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has shared:

Ah coffee. The sweet balm by which we shall accomplish today’s tasks.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has downloaded:

My favorite things about Twitter are that everything you read is true, everyone is nice, and all intentions are pure of heart.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

765 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,927

Funny Quotes Topics

13,899

Funny Quotes Images

10,927

56 minutes ago

3,442

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on Messenger:

By the way, if you don’t buy anything on Black Friday, you can save up to 100%.

Making waves on Slack:

Why trust atoms? Because they’ve never been caught fibbing, just fission.

Just landed via Telegram:

I’m running out of people I like.

Just shared via Facebook:

Rich people don’t put their couches against their wall. I moved my couch into the middle of the floor and still haven’t gotten rich. I don’t know what I’m doing wrong here.

Shared recently on X:

This Christmas, get her the gift that’ll last a lifetime. Give her a tortoise.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

They say money talks, but mine just waves goodbye.

Live now on Instagram:

One day I’ll do amazing things. Today I’ll be satisfied if I don’t spill food on my lap.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

Everyone who dramatically ‘quits’ social media is back in 48 hours like it was just a trial separation.

Breaking via Instagram:

I love being married. It’s so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.

Trending via TikTok:

My dream DUI is driving a Saab through the Great British Bake Off tent.

Home » Funny Police Quotes

30 Funny police quotes

Funny police quotes bring a touch of humor to the world of law enforcement! 🚓😂 From witty observations about the daily grind of policing to lighthearted takes on those inevitable traffic stops, these quotes highlight the lighter side of life on the beat. Enjoy a chuckle and appreciate the fun side of keeping the peace! 😄👮

New funny police quotes 👇

7 days ago
Share →: This cop is parked illegally behind me with his lights on. I’m going to say something.

Commentary:
Looks like he's auditioning for a role in the next Fast & Furious movie! 🚓🎬😂
3 weeks ago
Share →: Do regular dogs see police dogs and think, “Oh no, it’s a cop”?

Commentary:
"Uh oh, hide the treats! It's the pawlice 🚓🐾😂"
3 weeks ago
Share →: Opening up is like talking to a cop: anything you say can and will be used against you.

Commentary:
"Why open up when you can keep the mystery alive? 🎭🚔 #StaySilent"
1 month ago
Share →: I can’t blame this generation too much for doing stupid stuff. My generation thought seven Police Academy movies were a good idea.

Commentary:
"😂 Who knew our biggest crime would be watching all seven? 🚔🎬 #TimelessMistakes"
1 month ago
Share →: Everyone’s “the nicest guy ever” until the cops are in their backyard digging up several bodies.

Commentary:
"Wow, talk about taking 'being the life of the party' a bit too literally! 😅🔎🚔 #PlotTwist"
2 months ago
Share →: The reason my eyes are dilated is because I am so attracted to you, officer.

Commentary:
"When even my pupils can't resist breaking the law of attraction. 🚔👁️😂"
2 months ago
Share →: Calling the police when someone unfollows.

Commentary:
"Plot twist: I'm filing a missing follower report. 😂🚨📱"
2 months ago
Share →: When the grocery store moves the aisles around, you should be able to call the cops.

Commentary:
"Breaking News: Grocery store commits 'shelf-shifting'! 🚓🍎 Anyone seen the mustard lately? 😂 #LostInAisle"
5 months ago
Share →: Ugh, those red and blue flashing lights are interfering with my driving and scrolling.

Commentary:
Looks like someone's trying to multitask their way out of a traffic ticket! Just remember, scrolling through memes and driving don't mix as well as peanut butter and jelly – unless you want a side of sirens and a sprinkle of fines!
5 months ago
Share →: Driving behind a salt truck on a snowy day is a Midwest police escort.

Commentary:
"Following a salt truck in the snow: When you've got your very own salty entourage clearing the way for your grand entrance! 🚔❄️ #MidwestVibes"

For even more funny police quotes, check out the next page, if available 👇

All funny police quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

765 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,927

Funny Quotes Topics

13,899

Funny Quotes Images

10,927

56 minutes ago

3,433

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇼 has viewed:

Never forget that your fave celebs were trying to sell you cartoon monkey pictures during a pandemic.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has bookmarked:

Distance is my jam; solitude is my peanut butter.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has viewed:

The difference between a hippo and a zippo is that one is really heavy and the other is a little lighter. Thank you and good night.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has bookmarked:

Many men also have a walk-in closet. For them, it’s just called a floor.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has copied:

Roses are red, violets are blue. Your parents are very disappointed in you.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has copied:

Sorry for widening my eyes and whispering “The prophecy” when we first met.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has viewed:

God saw you do that.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has bookmarked:

The trick of life is to get the sports car before you have to grunt getting in and out of it.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has viewed:

Whoops, accidentally said I couldn’t make it before they even said the date.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has bookmarked:

The name Ella is short for Mozzarella.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on WhatsApp:

My muffin top has become a full blown birthday cake.

Spotted on Facebook:

The History Channel, because where else are you going to learn about how aliens were instrumental in the development of humanity?

Just landed via WhatsApp:

If we’re not meant to have midnight snacks, why is there a light in the fridge.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

I put my pants on just like everybody else: when the police tell me to.

Reported on Messenger:

My therapist says I’m preoccupied with revenge. She’s going to regret that.

Seen just now on Slack:

Are you really a personal trainer or do you just want to wear shorts to work every day?

Just landed via Facebook:

It’s quite ironic that “strap on,” backwards, spells “no parts.”

Making waves on TikTok:

Part of getting older is having a favorite pen.

Trending via Snapchat:

I’m at the “buy bigger jeans” part of my Eat. Pray. Love. journey.

Spotted on Messenger:

Roses are red. Bumble bees buzz. This rhyme doesn’t rhyme. No, wait, yes it does.

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