61 Funny read quotes

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  4 months ago

  View →: No, I don’t want to read the article first, I want to argue now.
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  4 months ago

  View →: An eye exam where the optometrist makes you read a menu under dim lights.
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  4 months ago

  View →: Always keep a dog eared book on your nightstand so that people think you know how to read.
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  4 months ago

  View →: I read that Miley Cyrus will be starring in a remake of Silence of the Lambs. She’ll be playing Hannibal Montannibal.
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  4 months ago

  View →: Isn’t it odd that “read” is pronounced like “lead”, while “read” is pronounced like “lead”?
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  4 months ago

  View →: If I’ve offended you with my posts, I humbly apologize, I honestly did not think you could read.
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  4 months ago

  View →: Lou Read is the name of my favorite musician and also the book I keep in the toilet.
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  4 months ago

  View →: I miss being able to study with complete focus for hours. Now I read one sentence and check my phone to see if penguins have legs or just feet.
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  4 months ago

  View →: Big fan of the comma, just great. Like look, I just made you pause the sentence as you read it. Oh look, I just did it again.
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  4 months ago

  View →: Europeans read a lot because their television shows suck.
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  4 months ago

  View →: I composed this post in a way that only the sexy can read it, so congratulations.
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  4 months ago

  View →: My greatest joy in life is when a friend reads a book I recommend. My greatest frustration in life is when they don’t read it fast enough.
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  4 months ago

  View →: I’m currently trying not to read anything about carbohydrates after 4pm.
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  4 months ago

  View →: Getting left on read really gives me perspective on what Nigerian princes go through.
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  5 months ago

  View →: Sorry I left you on read, I didn’t mean to open it just yet.
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  5 months ago

  View →: Just read the Ten Commandments for the first time and you can’t do shit with your neighbor.
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  5 months ago

  View →: I regret to inform you that the secret to appearing well-read is to read.
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  5 months ago

  View →: Why are poets thinking that they are the ones tortured and not those who read their poetry?
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  5 months ago

  View →: Do you think I’ll read a book again at some point or will I continue to dumb myself down with 12 hours of screen time?
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  5 months ago

  View →: Pretty sure the best place to hide a dead body is in a new tab you opened to read later.
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  5 months ago

  View →: My mom gave me a coffee mug that says “Be your own kind of beautiful” and I’m really trying not to read too much into that.
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  5 months ago

  View →: I have read that there are imaginary pregnancies. The belly gets bigger and bigger, but there is no baby inside. Finally a diagnosis.
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  5 months ago

  View →: A person’s character can be read quite reliably from the way he or she interacts with service personnel.
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  5 months ago

  View →: Ever read something so magnificently stupid that you have to just stare into space for a little while and reconcile with your brain for having been subjected to it?
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  5 months ago

  View →: Not to be dramatic, but learning how to read has ruined my life.
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  5 months ago

  View →: There’s a great new book on minimalism but I only read the blurb because I believe that’s what the author would want.
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  5 months ago

  View →: Sorry I’m late. The door said PULL, but I don’t believe everything I read.
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  5 months ago

  View →: My mom sent me a text message so long I had to refill my Adderall prescription to read it.
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  5 months ago

  View →: Tryna choke on gummy bears so my tombstone can read ‘killed by a bear’
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  5 months ago

  View →: Just once I’d like to read a medication label that says: Warning, may cause permanent weight loss, increased energy and wrinkle removal.

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