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17 Funny sentence quotes

  • If you finish every sentence with “as the prophecy foretold”, your coworkers will leave you alone.

    Commentary:
    “Remember, in the office jungle, sometimes a touch of eccentricity is the key to maintaining your territory. 🐒 Just don’t blame us if you end up talking to yourself… as the prophecy foretold. 🔮😄”

  • I end all my sentences with “Just saying..” because ending them with “You bonehead..” would probably be considered offensive.

    Commentary:
    “Careful with those sentence endings! 🙊 It’s all fun and games until someone gets called a bonehead. Just saying.. 😉”

  • Couples who finish each other’s sentences have killed before and will kill again.

    Commentary:
    “Watch out for those couples who finish each other’s sentences, they might just be plotting their next crime spree! Keep your words to yourself and your sentences unfinished!”

  • People found guilty of not using punctuation deserve the longest sentence possible.

    Commentary:
    Don’t be a criminal in the grammar world! Remember folks, punctuate or face the consequences – a never-ending sentence!

  • Starting your most incoherent sentence with “put simply” to deflect blame onto the reader.

    Commentary:
    “Using ‘put simply’ before your most nonsensical ramblings is like wrapping a clown costume around a broken logic train 🤡🚂. It’s the ultimate blame-shifting move – ‘Oops, I guess you just didn’t get my jumbled mess of words, not my fault! 🤷‍♂️🤪’.”

  • A colon can completely change the meaning of a sentence. For example: Jill ate her friend’s sandwich VS Jill ate her friend’s colon.

    Commentary:
    Oh, the power of punctuation! 😄 Never underestimate the impact of a simple colon – it can turn a friendly meal into a gruesome scenario faster than you can say “punctuation matters!” 🥪😱 #WatchOutForColons

  • Heartbreaking: Introvert sentenced to 100 hours of hanging out.

    Commentary:
    It’s a tragic day for all introverts out there! 😂 Imagine the horror of being sentenced to 100 hours of socializing – the horror! 😱 Don’t worry, I’ll be ready with an escape plan just in case it happens to me. 🔍🏃‍♂️ #IntrovertProblems

  • According to a new study, people who often trail off in the middle of a sentence are 30% more likely to

    Commentary:
    According to a new study, people who often trail off in the middle of a sentence are 30% more likely to… well, let’s just say their thoughts take an unexpected detour! 🚶‍♂️🤷‍♀️ #LostInThoughts

  • I miss being able to study with complete focus for hours. Now I read one sentence and check my phone to see if penguins have legs or just feet.

    Commentary:
    “Ah, the evolution of study habits in the digital age: from deep concentration to existential penguin ponderings 🐧📚 Stay strong, dear student! Who knows, perhaps those penguins are onto something fascinating! #FocusVsFeathers”

  • Big fan of the comma, just great. Like look, I just made you pause the sentence as you read it. Oh look, I just did it again.

    Commentary:
    Oh, the mighty comma – the unsung hero of punctuation, master of timing ⏱️, the pause button of written language! Bravo, dear comma, for your subtle yet powerful influence on the flow of words! 😉👏 #CommaMagic

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