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New funny quotes: 56 this month

15,809 funny quotes and pics

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Updated: Mar 13, 2026

 

 

 

 

112 Funny sex quotes

Funny sex quotes bring a playful touch to the subject of intimacy and relationships! 😄💋 Whether it’s light-hearted humor about bedroom antics or witty remarks on romance, these quotes offer a fun perspective on a sometimes serious topic. Enjoy a laugh while embracing the lighter side of love! 😂❤️

Using a condom and still pulling out, call that two-factor authentication.

Posted onJan 31, 2026

Sex is cool, but have you ever found an academic article that fits your research topic perfectly and supports all of your claims?

Posted onJan 31, 2026

I haven’t had sex in so long, I forgot how to moan, what if I mess up and bark?

Posted onJan 31, 2026

The heels stay on during sex because I only painted the toe nails that were showing.

Posted onJan 31, 2026

I hate porn that starts off with sex. I need to know why they have sex.

Posted onJan 31, 2026

I have the sex drive of a potato.

Posted onJan 31, 2026

People that tell us what sex gods they are, what do you want us to do with that information?

Posted onJan 30, 2026

Unfortunately most of my sex noises come from trying to get out of bed.

Posted onJan 30, 2026

I have three kids. I should be terrified of sex.

Posted onJan 30, 2026

It’s so funny when someone writes a song to try to get someone to have sex with them. That’s what a bird would do!

Posted onJan 30, 2026

I lied, there’s no sex. Stand over there and tell me if this painting I’m hanging is straight.

Posted onJan 30, 2026

It’s been so long since I had sex last, went jogging in flip flops just to remember the sound.

Posted onJan 30, 2026

Sex is cool but have you ever had your bed all to yourself.

Posted onJan 30, 2026

Two people had sex and now I’m fighting for my life everyday.

Posted onJan 30, 2026

My favorite sex position is any of them. I’m just glad to be involved.

Posted onJan 30, 2026

I’m not into casual sex. Send me a résumé.

Posted onJan 29, 2026

Sex is so embarrassing. Like, why did I want to do that to you?

Posted onJan 29, 2026

If your problem can’t be fixed by coffee, tequila or sex then I’m out of advice.

Posted onJan 29, 2026

Relationship status: my sex robot filed a restraining order.

Posted onJan 29, 2026

Set my sex robot to boyfriend mode and now it’s liking other girls’ pictures on Insta.

Posted onJan 29, 2026

What’s the point of having sex dreams if you always wake up just when it’s getting down to business?

Posted onJan 29, 2026

Sex is cool but have you ever had a king size bed all to yourself.

Posted onJan 29, 2026

Yes, my sex drive is higher than my will to live, and what about it?

Posted onJan 28, 2026Feb 28, 2026

There is no sex. I lied. You are gonna lay here and take personality quizzes with me.

Posted onJan 28, 2026

The only thing worse than children talking about sex is adults talking about politics.

Posted onJan 28, 2026

Sex is cool, but have you ever had a can opener that actually works?

Posted onJan 23, 2026

Sex is great, but have you ever started slowly picking up speed after sitting in a traffic jam?

Posted onJan 22, 2026

‘Sex with your ex’ is so stupid. If you want to dwell on the past, you can just buy a history book.

Posted onJan 22, 2026

Sex in the snow is wintercourse.

Posted onJan 22, 2026

Unlike smoking, vaping doesn’t reduce your sex drive. It just reduces the sex drive of the people who see you vaping.

Posted onJan 22, 2026

Biblical loophole: It’s not premarital sex if you never intend to get married.

Posted onJan 22, 2026

Yes, I’ve gained weight. Too many people wanted to have sex with me. It was annoying.

Posted onJan 22, 2026

I asked my doctor if I’m healthy enough for sex and he told me I’m not even sexy enough for health.

Posted onJan 22, 2026

Now that food has replaced sex in my life, I can’t even get into my own pants.

Posted onJan 22, 2026

If someone else makes you a sandwich, it’s always better than if you do it yourself. It’s the same with sex.

Posted onJan 22, 2026

Why do men always think “looking for fun” means sex? Wat if I want us to draw?

Posted onJan 22, 2026

My sex face is the same as my first pee in three hours face.

Posted onJan 21, 2026

My neighbor said he heard me having sex today but it was just me standing in front of my air conditioner.

Posted onJan 21, 2026

Sex makes you happy. So I understand your dissatisfaction.

Posted onJan 21, 2026

Sometimes after sex, I wonder what it would be like to have sex as a couple.

Posted onJan 21, 2026

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