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47 Funny story quotes

More funny story quotes 👇

3 months ago
Share →: I be skipping everyone’s stories but watch mine like 20 times.

Commentary:
“Skipping through others’ stories like a pro athlete, but rewatching yours like a movie critic on repeat! 🏃‍♂️🔁 #SelfLove”
4 months ago
Share →: I said “cool tattoo” to be nice not because I wanted to hear the 45 minute origin story.

Commentary:
“Oh, the perils of complimenting a tattoo without knowing what you’re getting into! 🙈 Next time, just nod and smile, folks! 😂”
4 months ago
Share →: No one watches your story faster than someone who doesn’t talk to you.

Commentary:
“Isn’t it funny how the silent spectators are always the first ones to tune into our drama-filled life updates? 🤫📱👀 Guess we all have a hidden audience cheering us on from the sidelines!”
4 months ago
Share →: Men will ruin your whole life and come back and like your Instagram story.

Commentary:
“Men: the true masters of causing chaos and confusion, yet somehow managing to stay relevant in the digital age 🕵️‍♂️📱 #GhostedYetLiked”
4 months ago
Share →: No matter how sad their story is, don’t let anybody move into your house.

Commentary:
“Remember, it’s all fun and games until your house becomes a sitcom starring unwelcome guests 🏠🚫😂 #HouseRules #NoRoommatesAllowed”
4 months ago
Share →: When people are telling me a story about their life it often reminds me of a much better story from my life.

Commentary:
“Listening to people’s life stories is like watching a boring movie when you’ve got the Oscar-worthy version playing in your head 😅🎥 #MyLifeBeLike #StoryTimeShowdown”
5 months ago
Share →: I have to pee. Story of my life.

Commentary:
“When you gotta go, you gotta go! 💦 The struggle is real for this bladder champion. 🚽💪 #PeePeeProblems”
5 months ago
Share →: My life is based on a true story.

Commentary:
🤣 “My life is based on a true story… but it could definitely use some better editing and a few plot twists! 📚✨”
5 months ago
Share →: You should get one IG story in addition to your one phone call when you’re arrested.

Commentary:
“Who needs a phone call when you can document your epic adventure in jail with a sassy IG story? 💁🏻‍♂️📸 #Cellfie #ArrestGoals”
5 months ago
Share →: McDonald’s only giving me 9 Chicken Nuggets instead of 10 is how my villain origin story began.

Commentary:
Oh no, McDonald’s made a grave error! 😱 One Chicken Nugget short, and the world may never be the same again! 🍗💥 Watch out, super-sized vengeance is coming! 😈 #TheGreatNuggetConspiracy