Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

41 Funny story quotes

My wife is napping quietly and the villain of this story is about to be this sneeze.

3 months ago

Stephen King’s It is the bone chilling story about adults who are forced to spend time with their childhood friends.

3 months ago

Sure the Lego botanical sets are great but dusting them is another story.

3 months ago

If you watch Home Alone backwards it’s a loving story about a boy that heals two men that were savagely beaten.

3 months ago

So deep in her Instagram story, I accidentally liked an ad for a Toyota.

3 months ago

Writers should get a direct line to the FBI so we can call them and give them a heads up when we’re googling ways to poison someone but just for a story.

3 months ago

I’ve never completed a marathon, but I’ve listened to my mom tell a story, so don’t talk to me about endurance.

3 months ago

Despite popular opinion, dating apps are NOT for dating. They are for finding people to watch your Instagram story for years and years.

3 months ago

You never know how strong you are until someone’s story runs more than 5 minutes long.

3 months ago

Whenever my Mother-in-Law’s stories end with “And I turned out OK” I’m looking around like who’s gonna tell her.

3 months ago

Don’t tell me about your wild weekend. My TV remote died and I switched the batteries around, and now it’s working.

3 months ago

Always tell people different stories about yourself, so when they talk about you, they’ll argue.

3 months ago

I’m so old, I still keep special moments in my heart and not in my Insta story.

3 months ago

I say “long story short” and then tell the story with bonus features.

3 months ago

Lord of the Rings is a story about a brave little Hobbit on a mission to destroy a ring and save the world, and his annoying friend Frodo.

3 months ago

If you watch Home Alone backwards it’s a loving story about a kid that heals two men that were savagely beaten.

3 months ago

My kids wanted a spooky story from the olden days so I told them the internet used to scream when you turned it on.

3 months ago

This time last night, there was a spider so big in my bathroom it put me under a glass on a postcard and carried me out.

3 months ago

If your drinking story doesn’t involve law enforcement, I’m not listening.

3 months ago

Maybe the wolf from The Neverending Story still has nightmares about me, too.

3 months ago