Another day of explaining to mom that New York is big and the footage she saw wasn’t shot on my street. Posted on2 days ago
I want a girlfriend so hot that people walking down the street know that I am funny. Posted on3 days ago
Me: I’ve always wanted to stare at someone from across the street then disappear when a bus passes. Interviewer: I meant more like “professional goals”. Posted on3 days ago
Maybe one day a street will be named after me. Or a school. Or a mental hospital. Posted on4 days ago
Decorated the house across the street so I can look out the window and enjoy my handiwork. Posted on5 days ago
Just saw a bird run across the street if you were wondering if anyone else is wasting their gifts. Posted on7 days ago
You get what you pay for. Unless the delivery man leaves it on your doorstep. Then the fastest person on your street gets what you paid for. Posted on1 week ago
That moment you turn down the music while driving around looking for a street address, so you can see better. Posted on2 weeks ago