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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇬 has bookmarked:

Just spent a couple seconds concerned about the sounds my stomach was making before realizing it was a motorcycle outside.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has copied:

If there’s one thing I’m good at, it’s being annoyed by stupidity.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has bookmarked:

It sucks when you realize it’s only Thursday, until you realize it’s Wednesday.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has shared:

If we keep saving daylight, daylight will never learn to save itself.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has downloaded:

It’s so hot out here, I saw a bird blowing on a worm before he ate it.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has bookmarked:

Automated phone system: To speak to a representative, please enter the first twelve digits of pi.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has copied:

I actually think it’s quite beautiful that you have to be the one to save yourself.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has downloaded:

My talents are so hidden that I can’t even find them.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has viewed:

Called in, “Hey, macarena!” this morning.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has bookmarked:

I think airplanes would be way cooler if the wings flapped like a bird.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

1848 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,010

Funny Quotes Topics

14,805

Funny Quotes Images

12,010

Updated

1 minute ago

Users Online

3,428

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on LinkedIn:

I might start telling people I’m 10 years older than I actually am just so they can tell me how great I look for my age.

Just landed via Discord:

Just walked by an empath and his head exploded.

Just shared via Snapchat:

Why do men always think “looking for fun” means sex? Wat if I want us to draw?

Reported on Threads:

God, I wish I had enough money to discover it doesn’t make me happy.

Just landed via Snapchat:

Another day waiting, and wishing, and wanting.

Seen just now on Twitch:

I’m perfectly approachable as long as you’re carrying a plate of nachos.

Broadcasted on Facebook:

Don’t argue with her. Just say “you remind me of my ex” then walk away.

Reported on Slack:

Instead of likes, we should get a little kiss.

Reported on Reddit:

Without freedom of speech we wouldn’t know who the idiots are.

Spotted on Threads:

All women want is to consistently annoy one handsome man forever.

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

1848 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,010

Funny Quotes Topics

14,805

Funny Quotes Images

12,010

Updated

1 minute ago

Users Online

3,440

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇪 has copied:

If you like Christmas so much, why don’t you merry it?

Someone from 🇮🇱 has bookmarked:

Sleep is a beautiful thing. You don’t miss anyone, you can’t do anything wrong and you simply feel nothing.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has downloaded:

I think the key to happiness is having plenty of money and then telling all the poor people that money can’t buy happiness.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has bookmarked:

I’m opening a secret ice cream club called The Inside Scoop.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has downloaded:

I hate it when my body decides to get sick. I gave you a vegetable last week, how dare you.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has downloaded:

I am convinced that at least half of you are bots.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has copied:

Maybe the clouds, trees, and flowers love looking at you too.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has bookmarked:

I would go out of my mind, but I can’t find the exit.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has viewed:

I’ve never found a “Remember Me” checkbox that works. Nothing remembers me.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has shared:

I bought all this healthy food at the grocery store today and now I’m trying to decide if I want Chinese food or pizza delivered for dinner tonight.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Instagram:

I miss when bills had nothing to do with me.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

Could you even imagine the crime rate if no one drank coffee or ate bacon.

Spotted on Discord:

Embattled politicians resign saying they want to spend more time with their families. Do their families get a say in this?

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

I’ve named my couch American Idle.

Spotted on Snapchat:

No revenge, because I don’t even remember what happened.

Trending via Instagram:

I’ve been heading in the wrong direction for most of my life, but since the earth is round, I’m just going to stick with it and see it through.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

Deciding if I should heal or just give up and go completely insane.

Reported on Instagram:

Despite removing all the stains, I still lost my job as a church window cleaner.

Shared recently on Slack:

I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me.

Just shared via WeChat:

“Comparison is the thief of joy!” Well, not if you’re better than everyone else.

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