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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇰 has viewed:

Call me a glitch, cause I’m definitely messing with your system.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has viewed:

Telling my parents they’re like family to me.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has downloaded:

Just waiting for my laundry to be done so I can pop it in the dryer and forget about it again.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has shared:

Every guy wants to be called Daddy till that test comes back positive.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has bookmarked:

The pain of watching a movie with someone who talks a lot.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has shared:

My mirror needs a screenshot button.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has downloaded:

What I’ve learned in all these years of marriage is how to open a bottle of beer silently.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has viewed:

My favorite animal is me when my feelings are hurt.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has downloaded:

Just because I’m smiling doesn’t mean I like you, I might be picturing you on fire.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has viewed:

I am very depressed and in a really bad mood. Perhaps it will get better if I sit inside on a beautiful day and dwell compulsively.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 20, 2026

Users Online

3,418

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on TikTok:

My outdoor flowers are doing amazing this year because I left them at the garden center where they belong.

Going bananas on Snapchat:

The horror: “Come on, I’ll introduce you to everyone.”

Shared recently on Instagram:

My employer is totally caring. They pay so poorly that I can’t afford to have an alcohol or drug problem.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

This year I’d like an advent calendar with 24 different tranquilizers.

Seen just now on Twitch:

Whoever first said, “I’m in a pickle,” must have had the weirdest day.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

Police officer: please step out of your vehicle. Me: after this song, hold on.

Spreading quickly via Messenger:

Your password must contain a character… with a tragic backstory.

Trending via Threads:

The older I get, the more I appreciate people who pretend not to notice me when they see me out in public.

Seen just now on Discord:

We interrupt coverage of one horrible story for breaking news of another horrible story.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

My ideal workday would be from 9:00 AM to 9:07 AM

58 Funny worse quotes

Funny worse quotes 😂 are like the unexpected punchlines of life, turning mishaps into giggles and chaos into chuckles. 🌪️ Whether it’s epic fails or hilariously bad advice, these gems remind us not to take everything too seriously and to embrace the humor in our blunders. 🤦‍♀️ Perfect for sharing with friends who appreciate a good laugh at life’s quirkiest moments, these quotes are a delightful reminder that laughter is the best remedy! 🎉

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Social Media Stars ⭐

73 shares on Snapchat this month:

The date abruptly ended over a disagreement on how to pronounce Gnocchi.

76 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Mid-life crisis? No, no, mid-day crisis. Something happens every day.

95 shares on Messenger this month:

I love beating a dead horse with the girls. There is nothing better than a Saturday night rehashing, and never letting that horse rest in peace.

97 shares on Threads this month:

Unfortunately, free coffee in the office will never hit like a $9 iced latte will.

73 shares on TikTok this month:

Twitter is like group therapy but everyone’s yelling and no one’s licensed.

27 shares on Discord this month:

It’s so unfair that saying “xd” is still socially acceptable, but only if you’re speaking Spanish.

88 shares on WeChat this month:

When you realize a 9 to 5 is actually an 8 to 7, since you cannot teleport to work.

18 shares on Telegram this month:

My kids have been joking for weeks about a new Pokémon called Puke-Achu and then they got the stomach flu and brought it to life.

20 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Let the good times roll. Let the bad times crawl. Let the acceptable times do the hopscotch.

69 shares on WeChat this month:

When Hulk wrecks shit he’s “incredible.” When I do it I’m “causing a scene” and “need to leave this place immediately.”

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

21 folks are currently checking 👀

If you think I’m evil, wait until you meet the man who made me this way.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

The great thing about having pet insurance is that while our dachshund is at the vets, they’ve given us a courtesy poodle to hang out with.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Flip me over like a cassette tape, and play me again.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Drinking at home is convenient, sure, but it’s nothing like the experience of leaving the pub feeling fifty bucks lighter.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

My tattoo means that I can’t be trusted with $200.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

“Oh, I’d love to but I can’t.” Translation: I don’t want to so I won’t.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Shoutout to myself for ruining my own life.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m bringing back “hold your horses” and nobody can stop me.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Please try to schedule meetings around my need for attention.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Ever look at someone and think you could spend the rest of your life saying “What?” to this person?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 20, 2026

Users Online

3,686

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇪 has downloaded:

If being hydrated is such a great thing, why does it feel like my bladder is pissed off?

Someone from 🇬🇪 has bookmarked:

Nosferatu 2024, Frankenstein 2025, and Werwulf 2026. I was born at exactly the right time.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has downloaded:

The man who invented autocorrect walks into a barn. He orders a bear.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has downloaded:

A babysitter is a teenager who acts like an adult while the adults go out to act like teenagers.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has viewed:

On today’s family vacation agenda: my parents read the internet out loud.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has copied:

Are people born with photographic memories or do they take time to develop?

Someone from 🇵🇰 has bookmarked:

Please don’t ask me to repeat myself. I wasn’t listening either.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has copied:

I trust an insult more than I do a compliment.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has shared:

I don’t know who is writing my story, but they got to throw in a win somewhere or put the pen down. I need a break.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has bookmarked:

Brain, I know you’re trying hard, but you are not doing a good job.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Snapchat:

If you give a man a fish, that fish is basically gone. Way to lose your fish.

Spotted on Reddit:

Every group chat has that one person who never replies, and it’s me.

Breaking via Messenger:

I hate to brag but I excel at my faults.

Breaking via Snapchat:

We’re living in increasingly unfergalicious times.

Just landed via Messenger:

What’s it called when you mentally want to be horny but you’re physically not at all?

Freshly posted on Instagram:

Putting my Christmas tree up today. Big day for my cats.

Trending via WhatsApp:

I like it when someone feeds me their food without me asking. I feel like a part of my inner child heals.

Spreading quickly via Messenger:

You look like you suck at Mario Kart.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

Adulthood these days is just bills and running out of memory on devices.

Broadcasted on Telegram:

Shade coming from a tree bearing no fruit could never phase me. Carry on.

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