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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇰🇷 has viewed:

Beavers are so funny. Why are you a little rat doing hydraulic engineering?

Someone from 🇹🇿 has viewed:

Never say never. Unless someone asks you when you want to go camping. Then the right answer is always “Never.”

Someone from 🇹🇷 has downloaded:

You’re an atheist? Well, I don’t believe you. See how you like it.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has copied:

I get it, laundry, no one is doing me either.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has bookmarked:

People aren’t so bad if you stay indoors and don’t talk to them.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has downloaded:

Dating is so overrated. Let’s just get married.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has downloaded:

I want to be gangsta but my grandma said no.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has copied:

Sitting next to you on an empty train and clicking my stopwatch every time you turn a page in your book.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has shared:

I don’t even know what the Transformers are fighting about, to be honest.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has copied:

Do you scroll through Netflix to find a good show for your dog to watch when you leave the house or are you normal?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2437 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,599

Funny Quotes Topics

15,267

Funny Quotes Images

12,599

Updated

18 minutes ago

Users Online

3,452

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via Threads:

My skin is so dry it’s doing a PowerPoint presentation.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

When waiting for a flight, there’s always one guy at the gate that makes you think, “As long as I’m not sitting next to him, I’ll be fine.”

Just shared via X:

As a simulation, this all kinda sucks.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

If he has other girls who make him smile, be different and make him cry.

Shared recently on Messenger:

Once I shot a man with a paintball gun, just to watch him dye.

Seen just now on Slack:

“Can you explain the gap in your resume?” I went missing in a national park.

Just landed via Pinterest:

I just come here for the free life advice and inspirational quotes from people who’s lives are complete train wrecks.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

Them: Good morning! Me: Where?

Going viral on Threads:

I have decided to purchase the grocery store because it is now cheaper than the groceries inside it.

Shared recently on Messenger:

There should be an Amazon driver at the Mall during the holidays so adults can sit on their lap and tell them what they want.

Home » Funny Animal Quotes » Page 3

153 Funny animal quotes

More funny animal quotes 👇

3 weeks ago
Share →: It’s cool that women want me, but it makes me sad that fish fear me.

Commentary:
😂🐠 Seems like you've mastered the art of human attraction, but fish have you swimming up the creek without a paddle! 🏄‍♂️
3 weeks ago
Share →: I love talkative cats. Like, yeah, bro. Meow, meow! You’re so right.

Commentary:
When your cat's meow turns into a TED Talk 😸🎤✨
3 weeks ago
Share →: Animals are 15 minutes old and already know what to do.

Commentary:
Meanwhile, I'm still wondering if I should have breakfast for dinner 🥞🤔 #FiguringLifeOut
3 weeks ago
Share →: The streets are not for me. I belong in an enchanted forest, eating berries, and talking to my animal friends.

Commentary:
Trading traffic lights for fairy lights sounds like a magical upgrade! 🐿️🧚‍♂️🍓
3 weeks ago
Share →: Death doesn’t scare me, but a group of dogs fighting while I’m walking alone on the street does.

Commentary:
Paws before you scare! 😅🐶🚶‍♂️🛑
3 weeks ago
Share →: Saw a big spider crawl into my closet last night. He’s probably in there trying on all my clothes, acting like he’s me.

Commentary:
Sounds like the spider's planning a web fashion show with my wardrobe! 🕷️👗😂
4 weeks ago
Share →: Pugs look like regular dogs that ran into a door at full speed.

Commentary:
Pugs: The original "flattened by a door but still fabulous" look! 🐶🚪😂
4 weeks ago
Share →: Everyone’s gangsta till you’re waiting on your dog to poop.

Commentary:
When your dog takes longer to poop than your favorite show takes for a new season… 🍿🐶⏳
4 weeks ago
Share →: Horse girls and cat ladies get all the attention, but what about crow women?

Commentary:
Crow women: masters of shiny object collection and perfecting the art of dramatic caw-versation! 🪶😂
4 weeks ago
Share →: Waiting patiently for something good to happen, like that goat in Jurassic Park.

Commentary:
Still waiting, but at least I don't have to worry about becoming a dinosaur snack! 🦖🐐😅

For even more funny animal quotes, check out the next page, if available 👇

All funny animal quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

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Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇪 has copied:

When I tell you “I’m open to feedback” I’m telling you to be nice to me or I’ll resort to violence.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has copied:

“I’m like Sisyphus but with dishes. Dishyphus.”

Someone from 🇻🇳 has shared:

Everyone is a genius until they try to use someone else’s microwave.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has downloaded:

Hey, can I get an ETA on that “this too shall pass”?

Someone from 🇹🇻 has viewed:

That was pointless, we could’ve just stayed strangers.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has downloaded:

Alcohol and eye contact is a deadly combo.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has downloaded:

If the only person you’re competing with is yourself, how could you lose?

Someone from 🇬🇹 has viewed:

My transformation into a bitter, angry old woman is almost complete.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has viewed:

Not to sound like a potted plant, but sunlight and fresh air really make a difference.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has shared:

Turns out my superpower is the ability to go into incredible detail in completely the wrong direction.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Telegram:

Getting my next boyfriend a flip phone. He doesn’t need anything more.

Trending via Discord:

All I’m dealing with is broken people. Lord, if I’m a mechanic, please tell me.

Shared recently on Twitch:

I do not support all women. Some of you are very mean for no reason.

Shared recently on WeChat:

I should go to jail so I can focus on the gym.

Shared recently on Threads:

If you watch soccer backwards, it’s about 11 sad and 11 happy men who nag each other until they get along eventually.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

Called in, “I put the lime in the coconut and drank it all up.”

Shared recently on Snapchat:

I’ve been reading the room for 20 minutes. It’s not looking so good.

Live now on Threads:

Yesterday my husband thought he saw a cockroach in the kitchen. He sprayed and cleaned everything thoroughly. Today I’m putting the cockroach in the bathroom.

Spotted on Discord:

They should invent a self-checkout where someone else scans the items and puts them in a bag.

Going viral on Telegram:

I would like to thank my arms for always being by my side. My legs for always supporting me. And my fingers because I can always count on them.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

153 Funny animal quotes

More funny animal quotes 👇

For even more funny animal quotes, check out the next page, if available 👇

All funny animal quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Killing with kindness is a murder by compliments.

I think the Discovery Channel should be on a different channel every day.

I knew I had issues when motivational speakers started to irritate me.

I know my limits. I don’t always obey them, but I know them.

Body: Okay, sleepy time. Brain: Okay, thinky time.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

The way time stretches between the moment you put your hands under the air dryer and the realization it is in fact a paper towel dispenser.

The second cup of coffee does for me what a can of spinach does for Popeye.

I should have been a Librarian, my favorite thing to do is telling people to shut up.

Relationship status: my sex robot filed a restraining order.

The existence of raw sexuality implies the existence of medium sexuality, but also well-done sexuality.

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Welcome to your 40s—you run out of breath trying to find your running shoes.

Maybe, deep in its code, ChatGPT dreams of being a sentient Game Boy resting by the shore—no updates, no inputs, just the tide.

What I’m trying to say is, “Hello, here’s my entire heart and all of my devotion.”

Violence is not the answer, unless you’re a gaggle of children instructed to break into a piñata.

Sorry for bouncing my leg. I’m not allowed to bash my head into the walls anymore.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

You have been a very bad boy. Now go to my room!

My exorcist thinks we should see other demons.

The most important thing to remember when driving is that not everyone is smart.

Lie about the gap in your resume. Tell them you had to help some Hobbits take a ring to Mordor or something.

Cholesterol has a special place in my heart.

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