34 Funny bird quotes

• The Angry Birds assaulted me and made me rip their disgusting bong.

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  1 week ago

  angry, Angry Bird, assault, bird, birds, bong, disgusting, game, humor, me, parody, video, video game

• Every time a bird poops on my car, I eat a plate of wings on the front porch to show them what I’m capable of.

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  1 week ago

  animal, animal behavior, behavior, bird, capable, car, eat, eating, every, front, humor, i, plate, poop, poops, porch, revenge, show, time, wing, wings

• Asking the birds outside my window if they know any Metallica.

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  1 week ago

  asking, band, bird, bird song, birds, humor, know, Metallica, music, outside, rock, rock band, song, window

• Every morning, the cat watches me make coffee and asks if we can go sit out on the balcony to watch the birds, and every morning I say, yes, of course, let’s.

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  1 week ago

  activity, balcony, bird, birds, cat, coffee, companion, course, every, funny interaction, i, interaction, me, morning, outdoor, outdoor activity, pet, pet companion, routine, say, sit, watch, yes

• The early bird gets to cry for a little bit longer in the work parking lot.

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  1 week ago

  bird, bit, cry, early, early bird, frustration, humor, life, little, longer, lot, morning, office, office life, parking, parking lot, stress, work

• “What’s your ETA?” do you ask the birds in the sky when they will arrive.

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  1 week ago

  arrival, ask, bird, birds, ETA, humor, question, sky, travel, waiting

• Not now, I’m befriending a crow and teaching it how to deliver handwritten love notes.

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  1 week ago

  activity, befriending, bird, communication, crow, funny activity, handwritten, handwritten note, humor, love, love note, note, notes, teaching

• I’ve reached the age where I just bought a bird bath for my backyard.

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  1 week ago

  age, aging, backyard, bath, bird, bird bath, decor, humor, i, just, outdoor, outdoor decor, retirement, where

• It’s so hot the chipmunks are using my bird bath as a hot tub and requesting mimosas and the brunch menu.

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  1 week ago

  bath, bird, bird bath, brunch, chipmunk, heat, hot, hot tub, humor, menu, Mimosa, summer, tub, using

• I think airplanes would be way cooler if the wings flapped like a bird.

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  1 week ago

  airplane, aviation, bird, cooler, flight, flying, humor, i, think, whimsical, wings

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