32 Funny bird quotes — Wordgag ツ

If it’s one thing we’ve learned hiking, it’s the early bird that gets the face full of spiderwebs.

1 month ago1 month ago

To-do list: bite the hand that feeds me, put all my eggs in one basket, kill two birds with one stone, let the cat out of the bag, think inside the box, burn bridges, walk on thin ice, play with fire.

1 month ago1 month ago

Chuck Norris can kill two stones with one bird.

2 months ago2 months ago

My spirit animal is that one bird that knocks itself unconscious, flying into windows.

2 months ago2 months ago

Turns out, sitting on the porch, feeding birds and squirrels, is a pretty good treatment for depression.

2 months ago2 months ago

Every time a bird poops on my car, I eat a plate of wings on the front porch to show them what I’m capable of.

2 months ago2 months ago

Asking the birds outside my window if they know any Metallica.

2 months ago2 months ago

Every morning, the cat watches me make coffee and asks if we can go sit out on the balcony to watch the birds, and every morning I say, yes, of course, let’s.

2 months ago2 months ago

The early bird gets to cry for a little bit longer in the work parking lot.

2 months ago2 months ago

“What’s your ETA?” do you ask the birds in the sky when they will arrive.

2 months ago2 months ago

Not now, I’m befriending a crow and teaching it how to deliver handwritten love notes.

2 months ago2 months ago

I’ve reached the age where I just bought a bird bath for my backyard.

2 months ago2 months ago

It’s so hot the chipmunks are using my bird bath as a hot tub and requesting mimosas and the brunch menu.

2 months ago2 months ago

I think airplanes would be way cooler if the wings flapped like a bird.

3 months ago3 months ago

A couple of birds are outside fighting. Wait. They’ve quieted down. There’s a third bird. I think he may be their therapist.

3 months ago3 months ago

If I were a bird, I know who I’d poop on.

4 months ago4 months ago

My spirit animal is that bird that knocks itself unconscious flying into windows.

5 months ago5 months ago

I saw a bird get a worm today. It was about 11 am. So, don’t give up on your dreams, buddy!

5 months ago5 months ago

Just saw the fattest bird. This guy must get up early as hell.

5 months ago5 months ago

Do animals have celebrities? Like, do birds all recognize that one bird who sings really well?

6 months ago6 months ago