Funny quotes drinking

74 Funny drinking quotes

“You’re always drinking wine!” God forbid a girl enjoys the first miracle of Jesus.

1 week ago

Men used to go to war, now they drinking matcha.

2 weeks ago

I’m never drinking again, unless something is going on later today.

2 weeks ago

Establish dominance at work by drinking iced tea in a wine glass.

1 month ago

My doctor told me to watch my drinking. Now I drink in front of a mirror.

1 month ago

Sometimes I tell myself I should stop drinking so much, but I’m not about to listen to a drunk who’s talking to himself.

1 month ago

Some people spend a fortune so they can circle the world. I drink some beer and the world circles around me.

1 month ago

My wife asked me why the bottle of wine we bought yesterday was half empty. I said because she is a pessimist.

1 month ago

Drinking coffee because throwing chairs at people is frowned upon.

2 months ago

British people be like “I’m Bri ish” cause they drank the “T”

2 months ago

You don’t need fun to have alcohol.

2 months ago

The only team building exercise we had when I started working was called “Happy Hour.”

3 months ago

Dry January is out. Sopping Wet February is in.

3 months ago

I’ve been doing Dry January, but it’s literally just been my lips and skin.

3 months ago

A peaceful transition of power happening between me and this red wine just now.

3 months ago

The only thing I love more than an open mind is an open bar.

3 months ago

Getting drunk was invented by Big Text to make you send more texts.

3 months ago

If you get hangovers, it’s because you drank the beers with impure intentions and heavy karmic debt.

3 months ago

No thanks, social media influencers. I prefer making decisions the old-fashioned way: under the influence of alcohol.

3 months ago

Tonight I wanted to stop drinking but then I remembered the owner of the pub has a family to feed.

3 months ago