Funny quotes drinking

71 Funny drinking quotes

Establish dominance at work by drinking iced tea in a wine glass.

Funny Quotes Mar 18, 2025

My doctor told me to watch my drinking. Now I drink in front of a mirror.

Funny Quotes Mar 18, 2025

Sometimes I tell myself I should stop drinking so much, but I’m not about to listen to a drunk who’s talking to himself.

Funny Quotes Mar 18, 2025

Some people spend a fortune so they can circle the world. I drink some beer and the world circles around me.

Funny Quotes Mar 17, 2025

My wife asked me why the bottle of wine we bought yesterday was half empty. I said because she is a pessimist.

Funny Quotes Mar 14, 2025

Drinking coffee because throwing chairs at people is frowned upon.

Funny Quotes Feb 28, 2025

British people be like “I’m Bri ish” cause they drank the “T”

Funny Quotes Feb 25, 2025

You don’t need fun to have alcohol.

Funny Quotes Feb 20, 2025

The only team building exercise we had when I started working was called “Happy Hour.”

Funny Quotes Feb 4, 2025

Dry January is out. Sopping Wet February is in.

Funny Quotes Feb 3, 2025

I’ve been doing Dry January, but it’s literally just been my lips and skin.

Funny Quotes Feb 3, 2025

A peaceful transition of power happening between me and this red wine just now.

Funny Quotes Feb 2, 2025

The only thing I love more than an open mind is an open bar.

Funny Quotes Feb 1, 2025

Getting drunk was invented by Big Text to make you send more texts.

Funny Quotes Feb 1, 2025

If you get hangovers, it’s because you drank the beers with impure intentions and heavy karmic debt.

Funny Quotes Feb 1, 2025

No thanks, social media influencers. I prefer making decisions the old-fashioned way: under the influence of alcohol.

Funny Quotes Feb 1, 2025

Tonight I wanted to stop drinking but then I remembered the owner of the pub has a family to feed.

Funny Quotes Feb 1, 2025

I’m 45% coffee, 40% wine and 6% cheese.

Funny Quotes Jan 28, 2025

It’s not ‘drinking alone’ if you’re at work.

Funny Quotes Jan 28, 2025

You want to know how old you really feel? Stop drinking caffeine and popping Ibuprofen. Then, just wait.

Funny Quotes Jan 28, 2025

Incredibly annoying that exercising, eating right, and drinking water can make you actually feel good.

Funny Quotes Jan 28, 2025

Polar bears drinking Coca Cola is my favorite holiday vibe.

Funny Quotes Jan 28, 2025

My ego is bruised so I’m going to ice it with some cold beer.

Funny Quotes Jan 28, 2025

I can turn wine into water about two hours after drinking it. Checkmate Jesus.

Funny Quotes Jan 27, 2025

Sorry that I cannot come out drinking with you tonight, as I will be drinking at home. Alone. By myself.

Funny Quotes Jan 27, 2025