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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇩🇰 has downloaded:

I don’t need the audio tour at the museum, I have my teen to provide critical commentary the entire time.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has viewed:

Money can’t buy happiness, until you’re on vacation and then you realize it definitely can.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has viewed:

If you want your teen to finish her homework, tell her to fold the laundry.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has viewed:

You haven’t experienced proper anger until you have a sister.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has bookmarked:

Currently into monogamous friendships. If you have other friends, please don’t talk to me, it hurts my heart.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has bookmarked:

What is the name of the course in medical school where you learn not to take your patients seriously?

Someone from 🇦🇩 has downloaded:

The thing I hate most about my stationary bike is having to pick it up and turn it around for the return trip.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has bookmarked:

I’m growing a mullet so no one will want to hangout with me.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has shared:

No, it’s fine. I watched some cartoons and now I feel a little more at ease with your stupidness.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has shared:

Caffeine is not enough anymore, I need to chew on a power line.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

769 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,931

Funny Quotes Topics

13,902

Funny Quotes Images

10,931

51 minutes ago

3,435

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on TikTok:

The internal struggle between wanting to be productive and just wanting to nap all day.

Going viral on Messenger:

I made a clone of myself to do the dishes, another to do the laundry, and another to do the cooking, but we’re all sitting on the couch watching TV.

Breaking via Instagram:

It was the worst of times, it was the worst of times.

Freshly posted on Discord:

I found my first grey pubic hair today, but I didn’t freak out; unlike everyone else in the Zoom meeting.

Just landed via Messenger:

When I was a kid, I had to walk to Netflix.

Spotted on X:

Today I couldn’t find a parking space at work, so I drove back home. Looks like they have enough people there.

Going viral on Reddit:

From now on, every time I think I’m hating too much, I will think of Kendrick and realize I’m not hating to my full potential.

Making waves on YouTube:

Happy return of “yes of course it’s bedtime, see how dark it is outside” to all parents who celebrate.

Going viral on WeChat:

January is the Monday of the year.

Going viral on WeChat:

I’m not a perfectionist. I’m more of a good-enoughist.

Home » Funny Family Life Quotes

Funny family life quotes

New funny family life quotes 👇

1 week ago
Share →: There are two types of people: those who are clueless about their kids’ schedules and the other who plan it down to the minute. And they end up marrying each other.

Commentary:
"I guess opposites really do attract… and then spend every family gathering trying to sync their calendars! 😂🗓️❤️"
2 months ago
Share →: Having a toddler is wild. I’m getting breaking news about Peppa Pig.

Commentary:
"Breaking news: Toddler parents officially know more about Peppa Pig than current events! Tune in next for the weather report from Paw Patrol! 🐷📰🤣"
6 months ago
Share →: You know you’re the father of teen boys when a shoe print on the ceiling no longer fazes you.

Commentary:
Ah, the classic shoe print on the ceiling dilemma, a rite of passage for all fathers of teen boys! 👟🚀 It's the ultimate test of parental composure – when you see a shoe print soaring above you and simply think, "Ah, just another day in the life of raising teens." 😂🕺 #TeenBoyLife #GravityDefyingFootwear

For even more funny family life quotes, check out the next page, if available 👇

All funny family life quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

769 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,931

Funny Quotes Topics

13,902

Funny Quotes Images

10,931

51 minutes ago

3,423

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇪 has copied:

I have this rare skin disease called perfect.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has viewed:

Ever since I was a little kid, I knew that I wanted to be late for work.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has bookmarked:

The only ex I cheated on is my exam.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has viewed:

The paintings I always like the most in museums are the ones that have a bench.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has downloaded:

With me, it isn’t Netflix & chill. It’s Prime & panic.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has bookmarked:

If being hydrated is such a great thing, why does it feel like my bladder is pissed off?

Someone from 🇧🇷 has copied:

I’m “I can’t sit like that for too long” years old.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has bookmarked:

It’s a little ironic when you consider that the Internet was invented to save time.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has downloaded:

Dear deodorant manufacturers, please stop writing “72h” on your products. There are people who believe that. And they sit next to me on the bus. Always. All of them!

Someone from 🇺🇿 has viewed:

Squirrels get most of their energy from chewing on powerlines, that acorn thing is just for show.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Snapchat:

What no one tells you about having kids is that within a few years you’re in possession of a lot of teeth that you have no idea what to do with.

Live now on Snapchat:

I’m running out of people I like.

Live now on YouTube:

One time, I was so high my bra unclasped, and I thought I got shot.

Making waves on Pinterest:

I quit boxing the moment I realized my opponent was allowed to punch me in the face, too.

Just shared via Discord:

In my 20’s: might hit the club tonight. In my 40’s: might go to the grocery store to listen to some bangers.

Just landed via Twitch:

God, never seen San Francisco this bad. Spiderwebs completely covering entire business, skeletons just strewn about sidewalks in every neighborhood. Things have got to change!

Freshly posted on Messenger:

To all the people with grammatical issues, don’t worry, I also have problems with badly timed periods.

Just shared via Slack:

Sorry, I’m poor, I can’t afford to pay attention.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

Watched Titanic for the 14th time. Still sobbing. Still yelling, “SCOOT OVER, COW!” like it’ll change the ending.

Breaking via TikTok:

Wait. We’re now turning plants into burgers? Haven’t cows been doing that like, forever.

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