43 Funny floor quotes

• I haven’t tried Yoga, but I bent over to pick up my keys off the floor, so I’m sure I wouldn’t like Yoga.

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  2 hours ago

  activity, bend, exercise, flexibility, floor, humor, i, keys, over, sure, yoga

• I don’t want to adult today, I just want to dog. I’ll be lying down on the floor in the sun, you can pet me and bring me some snacks.

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  3 hours ago

  adult, adulting, bring, carefree, dog, floor, humor, i, just, lying, lying down, me, pet, procrastination, relaxation, snacks, sun, today, want

• My dogs have learned that whenever they hear the f-word in the kitchen, there’s now food on the floor.

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  5 hours ago

  behavior, dogs, f-word, floor, food, hear, humor, kitchen, pet, pet behavior

• Washing your face is actually multitasking because you are also washing your hands and forearms and shirt and countertop and feet and floor and hair.

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  11 hours ago

  actually, cleaning, countertop, countertop cleaning, daily, daily routine, face, face washing, feet, feet washing, floor, floor cleaning, forearm, forearm washing, hair, hair washing, hand, hand washing, hands, humor, hygiene, multitasking, routine, shirt, shirt washing, washing

• If you say “Excellent choice” after somebody selects a floor in an elevator, you can usually get a pity laugh.

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  17 hours ago

  after, choice, elevator, excellent, floor, humor, interaction, joke, laugh, pity, pity laugh, say, social, social interaction, somebody

• Due to inflation, you can now eat food that has been on the floor for up to 7.3 seconds.

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  23 hours ago

  due, eat, eating, floor, food, humor, inflation, joke, seconds, time

• My diet plan is sometimes, when I’m eating chips, I drop some on the floor, and I don’t eat those ones.

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  1 day ago

  chips, diet, drop, eat, eating, floor, i, ones, plan, sometimes

• It’s unfortunate that scrubbing the floors on your hands and knees is so much more effective than mopping.

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  6 days ago

  chore, cleaning, cleaning effectiveness, effective, effectiveness, floor, floor cleaning, funny observation, hands, hands and knees, household, household chore, knees, mop, mopping, much, observation, scrub, unfortunate

• Is there a job where I can lay on the floor and listen to music?

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  1 week ago

  floor, funny question, i, job, lay, listen, music, question, relaxation, where

• An article of clothing left on the floor long enough becomes clean again because the germs eventually get bored and leave.

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  3 weeks ago

  again, article, bored, clean, cleanliness, clothing, enough, floor, germ, humor, joke, laundry, leave, left, procrastination

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