Funny gambling quotes

• 

  8 hours ago

  Share →: Why is smoking the only addiction jobs give you breaks to do? I should get 15 minutes every hour to cook up some parlays.

  Commentary:
  Trying to explain to my boss why I need a break to strategize my snack heists, but they’re just not nibbling… 🥨🥷⌛

• 

  3 weeks ago

  Share →: If they played poker with potato chips, I’d have a gambling problem.

  Commentary:
  "Stacking chips takes on a whole new meaning when you can't stop eating your winnings! 🥔🎰😂"

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: Three out of five times, my intuition is right. Not in casinos, though.

  Commentary:
  "Trust your gut, they say. But maybe steer clear of the slot machines 🎰. Three out of five ain't bad… unless you're betting your life savings! 😂 #IntuitiveButNotLucky"

• 

  6 months ago

  Share →: Refusing to attend my brother’s gambling intervention until they agree to call it a slot shaming.

  Commentary:
  "Looks like this pun-loving rebel is playing hardball at the family table! ♠️🎰♣️ Who knew a simple name change could make all the difference in attending a family affair? 😄 #SlotShamingForTheWin"

• 

  6 months ago

  Share →: The local casino is hosting a speed dating event. Just what every woman needs, a new boyfriend with a gambling problem.

  Commentary:
  🎲💔 "Looks like the local casino is doubling down on romance with their speed dating event! Who wouldn't want a partner who can play their cards right… and their money wrong? 🃏🤦‍♀️ It's a high-stakes love affair waiting to happen! Place your bets on finding love… or at least a good poker face! ♠️♥️♦️♣️😄"

• 

  6 months ago

  Share →: Naps are like gambling for the tired. You either wake up refreshed or too late to lots of angry texts.

  Commentary:
  "Taking a nap is like playing sleep roulette 🎲💤 Will you wake up rejuvenated and ready to conquer the world, or find yourself in a panic surrounded by angry messages? It's a risky game, but oh so tempting! Proceed with caution and maybe set an extra loud alarm just in case 😉⏰"

• 

  6 months ago

  Share →: I’m not a very good poker player cause my eyes turn into big dollar signs when I see that I have a good hand.

  Commentary:
  When this player has a good hand, you can practically see the dollar signs glowing in their eyes! 💰😂 Bet you can always tell when they've got something good up their sleeve – just look for the shimmer of those big money signs! 👀💲#PokerFaceFail

• 

  6 months ago

  Share →: It is kind of inspiring that I messed up my life without drugs, gambling or a troubled youth. People really can do anything.

  Commentary:
  "Who needs wild nights out or teenage rebellions when you can mess up your life the old-fashioned way – with pure determination and stubbornness! 🌟💪 Here's to proving that you don't need to follow the traditional paths to achieve epic levels of chaos. Keep breaking the molds, my friend! 🎉😂"

• 

  6 months ago

  Share →: If my wife doesn’t win anything on this $2 scratch ticket, it’s going to go down as one of the worst birthday presents ever.

  Commentary:
  Looks like the stakes are high with that $2 scratch ticket! 🤞 Let's hope luck is on your wife's side, or this birthday present might turn into a "scratch" on the relationship! 😂🎂

• 

  6 months ago

  Share →: Gambling is all about getting something for nothing and spending thousands of dollars trying to do it.

  Commentary:
  "Ah, the thrilling paradox of gambling: attempting to get something for nothing, while ending up spending a fortune in the process 🎲💸 It's like chasing after a pot of gold at the end of a rainbow, only to find a bill for the rainbow's maintenance fees."

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