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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇱 has viewed:

It’s Monday, proceed with caution.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has bookmarked:

A little mystery is the sweetest seduction.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has downloaded:

Handsome, you better get to the point, my beer buzz is starting to wear off.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has copied:

Nobody is doing it like me because this is probably not the right way to do it.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has shared:

Starting to think business is standing on me.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has bookmarked:

Bold of you to assume I have the energy to even climb a hill to die on.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has viewed:

That awkward moment when someone is doing the dishes, and you slowly put your dish in the sink.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has bookmarked:

Done with work today. The work day isn’t over, I’m just done with it.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has copied:

Once you are able to find humor in any situation, you’ve either reached enlightenment or you’re just a little unhinged.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has copied:

It got weird when I thought both arm rests at the movie theatre were mine.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

531 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,124

Funny Quotes Topics

17,272

Funny Quotes Images

15,124

Dec 27, 2025

3,711

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Slack:

My bed is a magical place where I suddenly remember everything I forgot to do.

Breaking via YouTube:

Every day is a D-Day, if you’re a stutterer.

Shared recently on YouTube:

Best thing about TikTok is you literally don’t need to follow anyone to have a good time.

Breaking via Telegram:

My dentist said my teeth were stained and asked if I smoke or drink coffee? I said, “I drink it.”

Just landed via X:

If we ever make eye contact, just know I imagined way too much already.

Just landed via Messenger:

White, black, yellow, brown, Democrat, Republican, man, woman, straight, gay, transgender, Jew, Christian, Muslim, young and old — you will all taste the same to the zombies.

Live now on Twitch:

Oh, to be a rich, beautiful woman in her big car, driving to buy overpriced groceries to stock up her breathtaking kitchen in her gorgeous house.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

I kind of miss when people stood 6 feet away.

Breaking via Threads:

Today, I noticed that the cover of my ironing board was wrinkled, and I laughed at the irony. Then I laughed again because of the word “irony.”

Spotted on YouTube:

January 1st: anything is possible. January 2nd: but not today.

Home » Funny Gambling Quotes

12 Funny gambling quotes

Funny gambling quotes add humor to the high-stakes world of betting and chance. 🎲😄 From witty remarks about lucky breaks to playful jabs at casino antics, these quotes celebrate the lighter side of gambling. Enjoy a laugh and roll with the fun of chance and luck! 😂🃏

New funny gambling quotes 👇

Believing that pharmaceutical companies want to heal you is like believing a casino wants you to win.

0

1 week ago

business, business motive, care, casino, company, gambling, heal, healing, health, health care, irony, motive, pharmaceutical, pharmaceutical company, skepticism, trust, want, wants, win, winning
Why is smoking the only addiction jobs give you breaks to do? I should get 15 minutes every hour to cook up some parlays.

0

2 months ago

addiction, addiction humor, break, break time, breaks, cook, every, gambling, give, hour, humor, i, job, job break, jobs, minutes, only, parlay, should, smoking, time, why, work, work humor
If they played poker with potato chips, I’d have a gambling problem.

0

2 months ago

chip, chips, food, food humor, gambling, gambling problem, game, humor, ID, joking, played, poker, potato, potato chip, problem, snack
Three out of five times, my intuition is right. Not in casinos, though.

0

2 months ago

casino, decision making, five, gambling, humor, intuition, luck, odds, right, statistics, three, times
Refusing to attend my brother’s gambling intervention until they agree to call it a slot shaming.

0

2 months ago

addiction, agree, brother, call, family, gambling, humor, intervention, joke, shaming, slot
The local casino is hosting a speed dating event. Just what every woman needs, a new boyfriend with a gambling problem.

0

2 months ago

boyfriend, casino, date, dating, dating joke, event, every, funny event, gambling, hosting, humor, joke, just, local, needs, new, problem, relationship, relationship humor, speed, speed date, woman
Naps are like gambling for the tired. You either wake up refreshed or too late to lots of angry texts.

0

2 months ago

angry, angry text, gambling, humor, late, nap, naps, refreshed, sleep, text, texts, timing, tired, too, wake
I’m not a very good poker player cause my eyes turn into big dollar signs when I see that I have a good hand.

0

2 months ago

big, card, card game, cause, dollar, dollar signs, expression, eye, eye expression, eyes, gambling, game, good, good hand, hand, humor, i, player, poker, self-awareness, signs, turn
It is kind of inspiring that I messed up my life without drugs, gambling or a troubled youth. People really can do anything.

0

2 months ago

drug, gambling, life, motivation, people
If my wife doesn’t win anything on this $2 scratch ticket, it’s going to go down as one of the worst birthday presents ever.

0

2 months ago

2, bad, bad gift, birthday, disappointment, ever, expectations, gambling, gift, going, humor, present, scratch, scratch ticket, ticket, wife, win, worst

For even more funny gambling quotes, hit next 👇

All funny gambling quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎁🎅🎄 Christmas Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

19 shares on Telegram this month:

There should be 1 day a month without commercials.

67 shares on Telegram this month:

Boxes of pasta don’t need a plastic window. I believe pasta is in the box.

30 shares on Reddit this month:

Did it hurt when you forgot your headphones and couldn’t romanticize your walk home?

13 shares on TikTok this month:

She never lets ideas interrupt the easy flow of her conversation.

96 shares on Threads this month:

The fatigue is reaching levels that shouldn’t even be possible.

48 shares on Messenger this month:

I have a very particular set of useless skills.

97 shares on X this month:

You only realize how heavy your handbag really is when your car tells you that your passenger is not wearing a seatbelt.

17 shares on Telegram this month:

Sometimes I just want a man to talk to me in the same voice he uses to talk to his dog.

13 shares on Instagram this month:

Spent most of the day making sure the couch still works. So far so good.

18 shares on TikTok this month:

Youngest siblings are literally weaponized incompetence, final boss.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

20 folks are currently checking 👀

November moving quicker than two lesbians who met three days ago.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Animals are so crazy because, why is your mom only one year older than you?

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Having a bathroom switch outside a bathroom and a sibling is a bad combination.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Don’t even get into my car if you’re just gonna scream every time I hit something.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

I wish I had the confidence of someone who would let themselves be tattooed in a place they can’t see.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m always a little mean to men because, if you treat them like humans, they think you wanna sleep with them.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

At this point, Tom Cruise is a stuntman who does his own acting.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

If you want to complain about my driving at least calm down and get off my hood first.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

My name is Bob but my friends don’t call me.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Every retail employee should get to hit one customer a year and there is no way for customers to tell if they’ve used it yet.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

531 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,124

Funny Quotes Topics

17,272

Funny Quotes Images

15,124

Updated

Dec 27, 2025

Users Online

3,600

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇩🇿 has viewed:

Everyone is fighting a battle you don’t know about, except for me. I am complaining loudly about my battle. Everybody knows about it.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has shared:

Have you ever pretended not to look at the biscuits or sweets being handed around the room, and acted surprised when you got offered one?

Someone from 🇲🇦 has copied:

Blocking isn’t enough. I wanna throw tomatoes at you like you’re a medieval criminal.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has downloaded:

The gothic urge to live in a sleepy seaside town with a terrifying backstory.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has viewed:

I don’t understand people who do things on weekends. You just did things all week. What’s next, more things? That’s how they get you.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has copied:

Just pulled a Werther’s Original out of my pocket, like I’m 87 years old.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has viewed:

Why procrastinate now when you can always procrastinate later?

Someone from 🇸🇷 has downloaded:

I’ve got midlife crises older than you.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has shared:

At this point, I’m sure I’ll meet an alien or zombies before I meet the love of my life!

Someone from 🇵🇦 has downloaded:

Female friendship is all about taking turns being insane. First, one of you is crazy, and the other has to counterbalance by being normal. Then, thirty minutes later, you get to trade.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on X:

I think adults need summer vacation. Like, let’s just close down all our jobs for three months and play outside. Please. I’m so tired.

Going bananas on Instagram:

So glad that the dream I had of you isn’t affecting me at all, and I’m able to go on with my day without thinking of it.

Just shared via YouTube:

“Work smarter, not harder.” Brother, I’m not doing either of those things.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

When my husband says, “Let me ask my wife,” he’s just using me as an excuse to get out of whatever you’re asking him to do.

Seen just now on Twitch:

I don’t always cook dinner but when I do, I use every pan in the kitchen.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

80 years ago we would have all been institutionalized and I think that’s beautiful.

Shared recently on Discord:

Life’s all about crossroads and intersections; unfortunately, I’m a bad driver.

Just shared via TikTok:

Just a few more hours of scrolling, and then I will finally know.

Live now on WhatsApp:

I don’t know who is writing my story, but they got to throw in a win somewhere or put the pen down. I need a break.

Seen just now on Discord:

I love when dudes are named Guy. Like, yeah. Exactly.

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