19 Funny government quotes — Wordgag ツ

Yeah, the planet is dying. The government hates us. The animals are leaving. The aliens aren’t contacting us. We might be alone. It just might be you and me.

4 weeks ago4 weeks ago

Scratching the mosquito bite on my foot? Literally orgasmic. This is the kind of stuff that the government doesn’t want you to know.

2 months ago2 months ago

I just read a thing that said I should compliment myself on my decisions, regardless of the outcome. No thanks, I’m not the government.

2 months ago2 months ago

I believe the IRS is days away from having a nuclear weapon.

2 months ago2 months ago

Turns out strange women lying in ponds distributing swords was a better basis for a system of government actually.

5 months ago5 months ago

Sorry I can’t have a pleasant, safe and affordable life, my government said no.

Feb 1, 2025Feb 1, 2025

Feels like the Chinese government turned up the power on the sleepy ray they use on me every morning.

Feb 1, 2025Feb 1, 2025

Pets don’t talk because the moment they do, the government will tax them.

Feb 1, 2025Feb 1, 2025

The real threat to Democracy is the Bureaucracy.

Feb 1, 2025Feb 1, 2025

I have nothing nice to wear for the government shutdown.

Jan 29, 2025

There is certainly no life on other planets. Otherwise our government would have sent money there long ago.

Jan 27, 2025

Jury duty is a wild concept. Whenever the government wants, they can just be like “Call off work, bestie, we need you to solve a murder. Here’s fifteen dollars.”

Jan 27, 2025

“Don’t shoot your gun at the hurricane” the government says. I’ll do my own research, thanks.

Jan 26, 2025

Kinda messed up that the government knows my birthday but never sends me a gift or anything.

Jan 25, 2025

Coke Zero sounds like a government pledge to eliminate fizzy drinks by 2030.

Jan 25, 2025

The pigeons are plotting to overthrow the government. It will start with a coo.

Jan 24, 2025

The government always waits until the last minute to prevent a shutdown, much like my approach to paying taxes.

Jan 22, 2025

The government even made aliens boring.

Jan 21, 2025

It’s weird how the UFO’s always seem to crash in places that only the government and military have access to.

Jan 21, 2025