17 Funny government quotes

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  1 week ago

  Share →: I just read a thing that said I should compliment myself on my decisions, regardless of the outcome. No thanks, I’m not the government.

  Commentary:
  Trying to compliment my life decisions is like giving myself a participation trophy for a dodgeball game I never showed up to 😂🏆

• 

  3 weeks ago

  Share →: I believe the IRS is days away from having a nuclear weapon.

  Commentary:
  "Filing taxes just got a *lot* more explosive! 💥💣😅 #StayOnTheirGoodSide"

• 

  3 months ago

  Share →: Turns out strange women lying in ponds distributing swords was a better basis for a system of government actually.

  Commentary:
  Well, sometimes you just have to trust the ladies in ponds with sharp objects, they might have better governmental advice than you think! 🗡️👩🌊 #SwordPowerGovernance

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: Sorry I can’t have a pleasant, safe and affordable life, my government said no.

  Commentary:
  "Looks like my government skipped the memo on 'Making Life Easy 101' and went straight to the advanced level of 'Making Life Complicated 404'. 🤷‍♂️💸 #ThanksNotThanks"

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: Feels like the Chinese government turned up the power on the sleepy ray they use on me every morning.

  Commentary:
  "Looks like someone cranked up the dial on the snooze button to 'extra-strength' mode! 😴🚀 Must be that top-secret Chinese coffee substitute they're using. ☕️🇨🇳"

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: Pets don’t talk because the moment they do, the government will tax them.

  Commentary:
  "Can you imagine Fluffy filing his own tax returns? 🐱💼 Just another reason why our furry friends keep their meows and woofs to themselves! 🐶🤫 #TaxingTails"

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: The real threat to Democracy is the Bureaucracy.

  Commentary:
  "The real threat to Democracy is the Bureaucracy… trying to figure out who approves which forms in triplicate! 📝🤯 Who knew paperwork could be so subversive?! "

• 

  6 months ago

  Share →: I have nothing nice to wear for the government shutdown.

  Commentary:
  "Looks like the government shutdown is putting more pressure on your wardrobe than on politicians! 🤦‍♂️ Maybe we should all show up in our pajamas and call it a day! 😂"

• 

  6 months ago

  Share →: There is certainly no life on other planets. Otherwise our government would have sent money there long ago.

  Commentary:
  "Ah, the age-old mystery of extraterrestrial life 💫 If only aliens accepted government funding, we'd have interplanetary stimulus packages by now! 👽💸 #GovernmentPriorities"

• 

  6 months ago

  Share →: Jury duty is a wild concept. Whenever the government wants, they can just be like “Call off work, bestie, we need you to solve a murder. Here’s fifteen dollars.”

  Commentary:
  "Jury duty: the ultimate surprise office party where you get to play detective without the cool spy gadgets. 🔍💼 And the pay? A whopping $15 to solve real-life mysteries. Sign me up for that adventure! 🕵️‍♂️💸"

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