23 Funny government quotes

• I’m sick of waking up thinking about the government, and going to bed thinking about the government.

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  1 week ago

  bed, daily, daily life, frustration, going, going to bed, government, life, politics, sick, thinking, thought, waking, waking up

• How does a government that takes 40% of everyone’s money end up being trillions in debt?

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  1 week ago

  40, being, debt, economy, end, finance, government, humor, irony, money, tax

• If a government has online beef with a pop star, it has already lost.

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  1 week ago

  beef, celebrity, conflict, government, humor, lost, media, online, online beef, politics, pop, pop star, social, social media, star

• Scratching the mosquito bite on my foot? Literally orgasmic. This is the kind of stuff that the government doesn’t want you to know.

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  1 week ago

  bite, foot, government, humor, kind, know, literally, mosquito, mosquito bite, pleasure, scratching, secret, sensation, stuff, want

• I just read a thing that said I should compliment myself on my decisions, regardless of the outcome. No thanks, I’m not the government.

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  1 week ago

  compliment, confidence, decision, decision making, decisions, government, humor, i, independence, just, making, myself, outcome, read, said, sarcasm, self-compliment, self-esteem, should, thanks, thing

• I believe the IRS is days away from having a nuclear weapon.

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  1 week ago

  absurdity, away, believe, comedy, days, government, having, humor, i, IRS, joke, nuclear, nuclear weapon, satire, weapon

• Turns out strange women lying in ponds distributing swords was a better basis for a system of government actually.

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  2 weeks ago

  absurdity, actually, better, government, humor, lying, pond, strange, strange woman, sword, system, woman, women

• Sorry I can’t have a pleasant, safe and affordable life, my government said no.

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  2 weeks ago

  affordable, commentary, government, humor, i, irony, life, pleasant, safe, social, social commentary, sorry

• Feels like the Chinese government turned up the power on the sleepy ray they use on me every morning.

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  2 weeks ago

  Chinese, Chinese government, energy, every, government, humor, me, morning, power, ray, sarcasm, sleepy, sleepy ray, turned, wakefulness

• Pets don’t talk because the moment they do, the government will tax them.

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  2 weeks ago

  animals, government, humor, moment, pets, sarcasm, talk, tax

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