21 Funny key quotes

• It’s messed up that there are a million songs about love, but zero about hopping on a quick call with key stakeholders.

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  4 weeks ago

  call, communication, humor, irony, key, life, love, million, quick, song, songs, stakeholder, work, work life, zero

• Cutting my steak at Texas Roadhouse with my car keys.

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  4 weeks ago

  car, car key, cutting, joke, key, keys, restaurant, roadhouse, steak, substitute, Texas, Texas Roadhouse, utensil, utensil substitute

• Perfume is key, but deodorant is keyer and showering is keyest.

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  4 weeks ago

  care, deodorant, humor, hygiene, key, perfume, personal, personal care, shower, wordplay

• I’ve mastered farting, and it be loud and quick, but the key is don’t make a face or look around, so people can’t pinpoint it to you. Just act natural.

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  4 weeks ago

  act, advice, around, comedy, confidence, disguise, embarrassment, etiquette, face, farting, funny tips, humor, humor advice, just, key, loud, natural, people, prank, quick, social, social etiquette, tips

• I think the key to happiness is having plenty of money and then telling all the poor people that money can’t buy happiness.

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  4 weeks ago

  buy, commentary, happiness, having, humor, i, irony, key, money, people, poor, satire, social, social commentary, telling, think, wealth

• The key to looking amazing is looking like shit most of the time, so it’s more of a surprise.

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  4 weeks ago

  amazing, appearance, beauty, casual, confidence, humor, humorist, irony, key, looking, most, self-deprecation, shit, surprise, time

• My husband needs a hearing aid, but refuses to get one because it’s the key to our happy marriage.

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  4 weeks ago

  aid, communication, compromise, happy, hearing, hearing aid, humor, husband, key, marriage, needs, refusal, refuses, relationship

• Mambo No. 5, but it’s in a minor key, and I’m naming women who didn’t text me back.

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  4 weeks ago

  5, back, dating, disappointment, humor, joke, key, Mambo, me, minor, music, music parody, musical, musical joke, naming, parody, relationships, text, texting, women

• The key to a healthy relationship is taking turns being the sad one.

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  4 weeks ago

  balance, being, dating, emotional, emotional balance, emotional support, healthy, humor, key, partnership, relationship, sad, support, taking

• The key to happiness: 1/ order a pizza. 2/ eat that pizza. 3/ repeat!

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  4 weeks ago

  activity, comfort, comfort food, eat, food, fun, fun activity, happiness, key, order, pizza, repeat

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