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  • Looking forward to another year of crushing reality and unfulfilled dreams.

    Commentary:
    “Here’s to hoping reality finally gets a headache from all that crushing and dreams develop a secret plot to fulfill themselves! 🤞🏼😂 #BringItOn2023”

  • I’m really looking forward to another exciting year staring at my phone.

    Commentary:
    “Ah, the anticipation of a thrilling year filled with endless staring contests with our trusty companion, the phone! 📱😄 Who needs adventures when you’ve got messages to scroll through and memes to chuckle at? Here’s to another year of mobile entertainment! 🎉”

  • First date idea: you rescue me out of the tree I got stuck in while looking through your windows.

    Commentary:
    🌳👀 How about we skip the small talk and go straight for the adrenaline rush? First date idea: you rescue me from the tree I got stuck in while attempting to be your friendly neighborhood spy! 🕵️‍♂️ Trust me, this unique experience will create a bond like no other! 😉 #RomanceInTheTrees

  • If you’re looking for a wild woman, I just took all of my vitamins in one gulp.

    Commentary:
    “Who needs a jungle safari when you’ve got a wild woman on a vitamin high! 🦁💊 Hold on tight, this ride is gonna be a wild one! 🎢😂”

  • I set up a Nativity scene, but since baby Jesus hasn’t arrived yet, all the Wise Men are just looking down at their phones.

    Commentary:
    Looks like even the Wise Men can’t resist the allure of modern technology! 👶📱 Maybe they’re checking for the latest star navigation app? Or perhaps they’re just really big fans of baby Jesus’ social media updates! 😂🌟

  • Looking forward to eight hours of trying to get four hours of sleep tonight.

    Commentary:
    “Ah, the classic struggle of wanting more sleep than time allows 😴💤 May the odds be ever in your favor as you embark on this noble quest for elusive rest! Remember, a solid power nap can work wonders too 😉🌙”

  • Not looking for a sugar daddy, but something more of a pay pal.

    Commentary:
    “Seeking a pay pal over a sugar daddy – because who needs roses when you can have direct deposits? 💰💸 #SecureTheBag #ModernLove”

  • Me to cat: quit looking at me like I’m an ingredient.

    Commentary:
    Me to cat: Your laser-eyed stare won’t turn me into a gourmet dish! 🐱👀🍳 #NotAnIngredient

  • Hey, I came over because the grass seemed really green here, but now that I’m looking back that grass actually looks crazy green, so I’m gonna go.
  • How does pasta water know when you’re not looking?

    Commentary:
    Ah, the mysterious and mischievous pasta water – always up to something when we turn our backs! 🍝🔍 Maybe it’s practicing its disappearing act for the next magic show! 🎩✨ Keep an eye out, or that sneaky water might just slip away when you’re not looking! 🤔💦😄

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