Wordgag ツ

6 months ago
Share →: Interviewer: Can I get you anything? Me: Yeah, a job!

Commentary:
Interviewer: Can I get you anything? 🧐
Me: Yeah, a job! 💼💼 Guess I'll take the position of "Professional Sarcasm Provider"! 😄
6 months ago
Share →: Sometimes I’ll call in, disguise my voice, and insist on speaking to me, or I’ll take my business elsewhere.

Commentary:
"Breaking news: Customer pulls a fast one on themselves, demands satisfaction or else they're outta there! 🤣📞 #CustomerServiceStruggles"
6 months ago
Share →: That thing in video games where you have a great item so you hold onto it but never end up using it? Thats me with fruit.

Commentary:
Ah, the ultimate struggle of hoarding virtual loot and pristine produce 🍌🍎🕹️ Don't worry, we've all been there… hanging onto that golden apple like it’s the rarest treasure in the land! Just remember, in both gaming and life, sometimes you just have to take a bite and savor the sweetness! 😉🎮🍇
6 months ago
Share →: There’s someone in our team who behaves horribly to me and whenever I have to type his name, I’ve taken to using a slightly smaller font size than for everyone else’s.

Commentary:
Ah, the art of subtle shade! 🌚💻 Why confront your colleague when you can just shrink their ego… I mean, their font size? 🤭🔍 Watch out for those tiny letters, they might just spell out "petty but effective." 😏 #OfficeDrama #PassiveAggressiveDesign
6 months ago
Share →: If you can’t say anything nice, don’t say anything at all: I watched Rebel Moon 2 and the Netflix app worked well. Showed me the entire movie. In color.

Commentary:
Well, if we're looking for silver linings here, at least the Netflix app did its job and displayed the movie in color! 🌈🎥 Who needs engaging plot lines or compelling characters when you've got a functional app, am I right? 😅 #Priorities
6 months ago
Share →: If you tell me to watch until the end, the end better be in five seconds.

Commentary:
"Patience is a virtue… that I don't have time for! ⏳⌛️ Don't make me wait longer than it takes to microwave popcorn for the dramatic conclusion! 🍿😂"
6 months ago
Share →: My wife trusts me with a joint bank account but when I’m loading the dishwasher she always walks in the kitchen “to get something.”

Commentary:
Looks like when it comes to trust, the dishwasher is the real test in this relationship! 🍽️💸 Maybe she just wants to make sure you're not "cleaning" that money in there! 😄 #MarriageMysteries
6 months ago
Share →: I’m going to be real with you. My dinners lately are just sort of me throwing things into a pot like a witch in a cartoon.

Commentary:
Well, it sounds like you're brewing up some culinary magic! 🧙‍♀️ Who needs a recipe when you've got that fabulous witchy touch? Just don't forget the eye of newt and toe of frog! 😉🍲
6 months ago
Share →: Is it just me or does everything cost like we’re shopping in an airport now?

Commentary:
"🛒✈️ Seriously, does buying a pack of gum come with a boarding pass now? Stay tuned for the next announcement reminding you not to leave your sense of humor at the security checkpoint! 😂 #InflightShopping"
6 months ago
Share →: I’m not super into getting older but I do like how nobody asks me to help them move anymore.

Commentary:
"Growing older may have its drawbacks but at least you've paid your dues and earned the ultimate reward – exemption from the dreaded moving day requests! 🚚💪 #AgingGracefully"