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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇴 has shared:

We are all just prisoners here of our phone device.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has downloaded:

I told my daughter to check her attitude, and she responded, “For complaints about attitude, please contact the manufacturer.”

Someone from 🇪🇬 has shared:

Anyone else smile at old people just to show that you’re one of the good ones.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has copied:

No matter what’s going on in your life, there’s some form of potato that can make it better.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has downloaded:

Realizing this yogurt I’m eating is more active and cultured than I am.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has copied:

Am I the only person who hates spending the night at someone’s place? Like, we can hang out until 3 a.m., but I’m still going home.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has viewed:

Hey babe, wanna come over and fold me like a fitted sheet?

Someone from 🇪🇬 has viewed:

Being a dinosaur sounds kinda nice. No bills, no work, just extinct.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has viewed:

Think like a crazy person, and then you’ll understand.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has viewed:

The people who “don’t have time” and the people who “always find time” have the same amount of time.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 19, 2026

Users Online

3,472

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on X:

Dinosaurs never had coffee, and we see how that turned out.

Live now on Reddit:

To my beloved wife, I leave my circus and my monkeys.

Spotted on Instagram:

I love when the plot thickens.

Going viral on Snapchat:

Any time I have ever uttered the phrase “no worries” I have been lying. There are many worries.

Spotted on Snapchat:

Can someone write me a note to get out of being a responsible adult?

Going viral on Messenger:

I lied. There’s no sex. Can you help me put this fitted sheet on my mattress?

Trending via Messenger:

In England “booster shot” is spelled “borchestershire shot”.

Making waves on Facebook:

Not to be dramatic, but when I accidentally save a file twice and it adds that (1) at the end, it is the worst moment of my life.

Spotted on YouTube:

God: “I’m all-knowing but I’d rather be all-forgetting.”

Spotted on Threads:

I don’t have read receipts on my phone because why would I tell on myself like that?

50 Funny month quotes

Funny month quotes bring a splash of laughter 🌟 to every calendar page! Whether it’s January’s fresh start ❄️ or December’s holiday hustle 🎄, these witty lines capture the quirks and vibes of each month perfectly. Ready to brighten your day and share some smiles? Let’s dive into the hilarious side of time ticking away! ⏰😂

New funny month quotes 👇

For even more funny month quotes, hit next 👇

All funny month quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections
✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

84 shares on X this month:

As I’m cleaning my room, this is a friendly reminder that you actually don’t need that free t-shirt or tote bag from that event.

12 shares on Twitch this month:

You’re like if “nope” was a person.

33 shares on Snapchat this month:

I saw a spider crawl under my kid’s bed and was too tired to go after it, but that’s okay, no living creature can survive that environment.

19 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I can’t wait to buy Chanel bags on a random Tuesday for me and my friends.

76 shares on LinkedIn this month:

(at an incredibly low point in my life) I should start dating again.

79 shares on Reddit this month:

“Why do I feel like shit all the time?” I ask myself, while staring into the flashlight that tells me bad news.

28 shares on Facebook this month:

Are oranges called oranges because they are orange, or is the color orange called orange because an orange is orange?

44 shares on Threads this month:

The part where the music beat is going from your left ear to the right at different intervals.

54 shares on Snapchat this month:

For as long as that song was, you’d think the Ghost Busters would have mentioned their phone number at least once.

87 shares on Snapchat this month:

The rainforest cafe won’t be authentic enough for me if they don’t bulldoze 40% of the restaurant while I’m there.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

7 folks are currently checking 👀

As president, I will allow people to use the same password as before when changing their password.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

I love ordering things online because when they arrive it’s like a present from me to me.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

“I’m at the age where, if I use the wrong pillow at night, it hurts to turn my head the next day.”

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Eating Chinese takeout is never as depressing as in the movies. It usually is good.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

The best thing capitalism has done is put a little window on pasta boxes so the noodles can look out at the world.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

She left me because of my poor English. But I doesn’t care.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Everyone’s gangster until they need to pee.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

There’s no reason to be bored flying on an airplane. Use the time to tell the person next to you your entire life story.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

December. A desperate celebration of an end.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m so high at Home Depot right now, and I have to ask where the hose at. And I know I’mma laugh when I do.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 19, 2026

Users Online

3,333

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇪 has copied:

Once you’ve been single for a long time, you realize how exhausting relationships can be.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has shared:

Doggystyle, so we can both look at the river.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has copied:

Sledding is the best! (until you have to walk back up the hill)

Someone from 🇲🇦 has copied:

Women aren’t complicated. Just give us attention and leave us alone.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has downloaded:

The main problem is that far too many people have far too easy access to podcast equipment.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has shared:

There’s nothing like the first two months with a man when he’s still pretending to be a good person.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has shared:

Polar bears drinking Coca Cola is my favorite holiday vibe.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has bookmarked:

Feel like if a bunch of gays were stranded on a desert island, they’d all drop that voice thing in, like, a day.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has shared:

At this point of my celibacy, I can see the same colors as mantis shrimp. What do you know about blorange and gurple?

Someone from 🇲🇳 has downloaded:

You lose some, you lose some more.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via WhatsApp:

Blocking isn’t enough, I hope your pillow never has a cold side.

Spotted on Messenger:

I hate when I finish a show and don’t know what to do with my life.

Broadcasted on WeChat:

If we were subway rats, I’d share my pizza crust with you.

Just shared via WeChat:

I just went to Crazy Town, and they said you’re a local legend.

Spotted on TikTok:

The older I get, the easier it is for me to look at a situation and say: “Yeahhh, I’m out.”

Trending via Facebook:

There is no ‘we’ in ‘food’.

Broadcasted on Messenger:

You’ll never realize how crazy you really are until you fall in love.

Going bananas on LinkedIn:

Due to the humidity, my hair has chosen violence.

Going bananas on Instagram:

Sometimes I apologize to my car when I hit a pothole.

Spotted on Threads:

Every guy wants to be called Daddy till that test comes back positive.

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