297 Funny only quotes

• Becoming a DJ, but only because I like to impose my will and preferences upon the masses.

  ---

  7 days ago

  crowd, dj, humor, i, impose, masses, music, only, preference, preferences, upon

• It’s important to follow your significant other around the grocery store, not helping, and only hovering like the specter of death.

  ---

  7 days ago

  around, death, follow, following, grocery, grocery store, helping, hovering, humor, important, only, relationship, shopping, significant, significant other, specter, specter of death, stalking, store

• The only thing that could possibly put a smile on my face is a Sharpie.

  ---

  7 days ago

  face, humor, only, put, sarcasm, Sharpie, smile, thing

• The only love triangle I’m interested in is between me, my book, and my cozy blanket.

  ---

  1 week ago

  blanket, book, comfort, cozy, humor, interested, love, love triangle, me, only, reading, relaxation, self, self-love, triangle

• Dear algorithm, please show this post only to smart people with a refined sense of beauty.

  ---

  1 week ago

  algorithm, beauty, dear, humor, media, only, people, person, please, post, request, sense, show, smart, smart person, social, social media

• Dear algo, please only show this post to benevolent aliens.

  ---

  1 week ago

  algorithm, alien, aliens, benevolence, benevolent, dear, extraterrestrial, humor, media, only, please, post, request, show, social, social media

• I hate it when I go to the kitchen for food and only find ingredients.

  ---

  1 week ago

  cooking, food, frustration, hate, humor, hunger, i, ingredient, kitchen, only, snack

• There are TV shows that only exist on the screens of girls’ houses you go to one time and never again.

  ---

  1 week ago

  again, exist, girl, girls, house, houses, humor, never, only, screens, show, shows, time, TV, TV Show, visit

• I can’t be the only one who screenshots confirmations, even though you’ll get an email and text.

  ---

  1 week ago

  communication, confirmation, email, even, habit, i, message, only, screenshot, screenshots, technology, text

• Unfortunately, I do love being the only person who knows exactly what I mean and the hidden meaning behind everything I do.

  ---

  1 week ago

  behind, being, communication, everything, exactly, hidden, hidden meaning, humor, i, individuality, knows, love, mean, meaning, only, person, sarcasm, self-awareness, unfortunately

All funny only quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌