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29 Funny quirky quotes

The next James Bond should be weird. Like he wears a train conductor’s hat and is afraid of balloons.

3 months ago

I know that we aren’t supposed to self diagnose but I’ve googled all of my symptoms and I’m fairly sure I’m a raccoon.

3 months ago

The way some people hold their cell phone to make a call, I always think they’re trying to take a bite out of a sandwich.

3 months ago

There is nothing like a little tomato soup to soothe the soul, even if it’s cold, over ice, with a celery stalk and vodka.

3 months ago

I’m not alone. I have ants.

3 months ago

A Tinder type app, but it matches you with sandwiches.

3 months ago

I don’t need Halloween. I have strange characters around me all year round.

3 months ago

Can you put some pants on my voodoo doll and pop some money in the pocket, please?

3 months ago

Could you set a lightsaber on low and use it as a back scratcher?

3 months ago