40 Funny sarcastic quotes

• “Why do I feel like shit all the time?” I ask myself, while staring into the flashlight that tells me bad news.

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  1 month ago

  ask, bad, bad news, feel, feeling, feeling bad, flashlight, health, humor, i, introspection, me, mood, myself, news, question, sarcastic, self-reflection, shit, staring, time, while, why

• Vaping always looked dumb. It looks like you’re smoking a kazoo, and now the lead poisoning is the cherry on top.

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  2 months ago

  always, cherry, dumb, health, health risk, humor, kazoo, lead, lead poisoning, looks, poisoning, risk, sarcastic, smoking, top, vaping

• Watched Titanic for the 14th time. Still sobbing. Still yelling, “SCOOT OVER, COW!” like it’ll change the ending.

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  2 months ago

  14th, change, cow, culture, emotional, ending, humor, movie, movie quote, over, parody, pop, pop culture, repetition, sarcastic, still, time, Titanic, yelling

• Making a record-breaking number of bad choices today, I’m really proud of myself.

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  2 months ago

  bad, bad choice, bad decision, choice, choices, decision, humor, humorous, making, myself, number, pride, proud, record-breaking, sarcastic, self-deprecating, today

• Umbrellas are great if you only want to get wet sideways.

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  2 months ago

  comedy, great, humor, joke, only, rain, sarcastic, umbrella, want, weather, wet

• “That’s an interesting take,” I say, not listening.

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  2 months ago

  communication, conversation, dismissive, humor, i, interesting, irony, listening, sarcastic, say, take

• I quit boxing the moment I realized my opponent was allowed to punch me in the face, too.

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  2 months ago

  allowed, boxing, competition, face, face punch, humor, i, joke, me, moment, opponent, punch, quit, quitting, sarcastic, sports, too

• That stupid look on my face is my face.

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  2 months ago

  expression, face, humor, sarcastic, self-deprecation, stupid

• The collective noun for a group of reply guys is an audacity.

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  2 months ago

  audacity, behavior, collective, culture, group, guy, guys, humor, internet, internet culture, media, noun, online, online behavior, reply, reply guy, sarcastic, social, social media

• I am so lucky that I can’t tell the difference between a heartfelt compliment and sarcastic disdain. Life is much easier when you’re dumb.

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  2 months ago

  am, compliment, difference, disdain, disinterest, dumb, easier, humor, i, ignorance, irony, life, luck, lucky, much, sarcasm, sarcastic, self-deprecating, simplicity, tell

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