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170 Funny situation quotes

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There’s a disgusting pervert at the bar watching pornography over my shoulder.
The best thing about living with my parents is being woken up four minutes before my alarm to be told my alarm is about to go off.
A camel walks into a bar and the bartender says, “Hey, you can’t bring your own drinks in here!”
That awkward shopping moment when someone is standing in front of the items you need and you pretend you’re shopping for something else because they just won’t budge.
When I die, I hope I’m remembered for my ability to take any bad situation and make it worse.

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3 weeks ago
Share →: Yes, my date did get up and leave during dinner, but luckily she hadn’t finished her food.

Commentary:
"Guess my charm isn't appetizing, but at least the leftovers were! 🍽️😂 #DinnerWin"
4 weeks ago
Share →: You don’t scare me. I used to have to call and ask a girl’s parents if she was there.

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Commentary:
"Taking 'bravery' to a whole new level! 😂📞 #OldSchoolNerves"
4 weeks ago
Share →: Hey bartender, can you turn down the music, please? This guy I just met is trying to explain how baseball works.

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Commentary:
"Shhh, trying to learn the rules of baseball over here! 🤫⚾️📚😂"
4 weeks ago
Share →: Me pulling into a full parking lot: Don’t these people have homes?

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Commentary:
"Oh great, the parking lot is hosting a reunion and my car wasn't invited! 🚗🙄🎉"
4 weeks ago
Share →: That place is so crowded; nobody goes there anymore.

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Commentary:
"That place is so exclusive, even its own crowd can't get in! 🎟️🚪😄"
1 month ago
Share →: There is a giant spider on my dash so I’m going to have to buy a new car now.

Commentary:
"Time to upgrade from 4 wheels to 8 legs! 🕷️🚗💸"
1 month ago
Share →: I’m no Hobbit, but I do often walk blindly into some rather dodgy situations.

Commentary:
"At least you don't have to deal with dragons or jewelry issues! 🧙‍♂️🔥💍😂"
1 month ago
Share →: I went for an interview at IKEA. The manager greeted me by saying “come in, make a seat”.

Commentary:
"Instructions unclear, now my chair is a bookshelf. 😂🪑📚"
1 month ago
Share →: Bluesky honestly feels like a miracle where you take the most annoying people in the world and stick them in a broken elevator together.

Commentary:
"Sounds like a social experiment ready for a sitcom! 😂🚪🔧"
2 months ago
Share →: They get real weird at the gun store if you walk in crying and asking for “the biggest one”.

Commentary:
"Note to self: bring tissues and whisper quietly next time! 😅🔫 #DramaFreeShopping"

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