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10,000+ funny quotes

142 Funny situation quotes

Everyone becomes a robo-dancer when the motion sensor faucet isn’t working.

2 months ago

My secret talent is turning any situation into a considerably more awkward one.

2 months ago

It’s been so long since I had sex last, went jogging in flip flops just to remember the sound.

2 months ago

It doesn’t matter how bizarre your situation is. Somebody on Reddit already been there, done that.

2 months ago

Everyone’s gangster until they need to pee.

3 months ago

Accidentally wore a blue shirt to Walmart and now I’m in the stockroom showing Sue how to use the forklift.

3 months ago

It’s amazing how music can transport you to another place. For example, this coffee shop is playing Justin Bieber, so I’m going to another restaurant.

3 months ago

Messed up and threw a surprise party for my minimalist friend. Now 25 of us are hiding behind the granite orb.

3 months ago

Is the elephant in the room with us right now?

3 months ago

I’m going spiraling, do you need anything?

3 months ago

First date idea: you rescue me out of the tree I got stuck in while looking through your windows.

3 months ago

My car spider built a web across my steering wheel and now I can’t go anywhere.

3 months ago

I put my pants on just like everybody else: when the police tell me to.

3 months ago

Things I don’t want in my future house: An angry man.

3 months ago

To the knife wielding psycho who walked in on me in the shower; I’m sorry you had to see that.

3 months ago

Any room can be a panic room if you just give me a second.

3 months ago

It’s really hard to come back after a poorly executed high five.

3 months ago

Police officer: please step out of your vehicle. Me: after this song, hold on.

3 months ago

Self-checkout is amazing for introverts until the machine breaks and two employees have to come fix it while you wait.

3 months ago

Traumatized people will navigate emergency situations with calm surety but then have an anxiety attack in a grocery store.

3 months ago