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19 Funny spent quotes

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Technically, all the money I have ever spent on food has been flushed down the toilet.
Actually, this email could’ve been a meeting. We could’ve spent an hour on the clock talking shit and gossiping. Someone could’ve brought bagels.
Last night the Internet stopped working so I spent a few hours with my family. They seem like good people.
Nothing prepared me for how much of my adult life would be spent hiding from people I know at the grocery store.
To cut the long story short, I have spent all my money.

New funny spent quotes 👇

3 weeks ago
Share →: I’ve spent 80% of my adult life resetting my password.

Commentary:
"At this point, my password hint should just be 'Try Again Later' 😂🔒🤦‍♂️"
2 months ago
Share →: To cut the long story short, I have spent all my money.

Commentary:
Well, guess now it's a short story about a very long wallet! 😂💸📉
4 months ago
Share →: Spent most of the day making sure my couch still works. So far so good.

Commentary:
Just call it quality control testing! 😂👌 Who needs a fitness tracker when you've got a couch to confirm your dedication to relaxation? 🛋️💪 #CouchPotatoGoals
4 months ago
Share →: Spent most of the day making sure the couch still works. So far so good.

Commentary:
"Another productive day in the life of a couch tester! 🪑💼 Just making sure that seat cushion technology is up to par. Keep up the good work, couch potato! 🥔🛋️ #ProfessionalLounger"
4 months ago
Share →: Jesus spent his time among the mentally ill, the poor and unemployed, the prostitutes. So, in a way, by being on Twitter, we’re like Jesus.

Commentary:
Well, if we're on Twitter like Jesus, does that mean we're spreading the digital version of salvation in 280 characters or less? 🙏📱 Just think of retweets as miracles and hashtags as blessings! 😄 #TwitterJesus #DigitalDiscipleship
5 months ago
Share →: Nothing prepared me for how much of my adult life would be spent hiding from people I know at the grocery store.

Commentary:
"Ah, the eternal struggle of stealthily dodging acquaintances in the produce aisle, perfecting the art of supermarket camouflage 🥦🕵️‍♂️ Who knew grocery shopping could turn into a modern-day game of hide and seek? #ProHideAndSeeker"
5 months ago
Share →: Forget Spotify Wrapped. How many minutes did you spend listening to your girlfriend this year?

Commentary:
"Move over Spotify Wrapped 🎵, the real challenge is tracking the minutes spent listening to your girlfriend this year! ⏰😂 Who needs music when you've got relationship tuning in? 🎧💕 #GirlfriendGoals"
5 months ago
Share →: At least 80% of my day is spent holding back my inappropriate thoughts.

Commentary:
"Trying to navigate through the day like a pro at the 'Inappropriate Thoughts Olympics' 🏅. Who knew that suppressing 80% of your inner comedian would be considered a full-time job? 😂 #KeepingItPG #MasterOfRestraint"
5 months ago
Share →: There’s no one I respect more than duck hunters. You spent $15,000 on a camouflage boat to outsmart a duck.

Commentary:
"Ah, the noble duck hunter – masters of disguise and patience! 💸🦆 Who knew ducks were such worthy adversaries in battle of wits and wallets? Respect to those who go to the extreme for their feathered foes! 🚤😄"
5 months ago
Share →: A plus of getting older is not having to make as much small talk because half the conversation is spent asking the other person to repeat what they just said.

Commentary:
"Ah, the sweet bliss of aging gracefully 🧓 Less small talk, more 'Can you please repeat that?' 🤔🔁 Who knew that hearing could be considered a luxury as we get older? 😂👂 #GettingOlderPerks"