Funny quotes » whole » Page 3

58 Funny whole quotes

More funny whole quotes 👇

  • If you don’t like sports, you are missing a whole world of easy-going conversations with complete strangers.

    Commentary:
    “Oh, you don’t like sports? You’re missing out on all the opportunities to bond with strangers over the pain of your favorite team losing! 🤣🏈 Don’t worry, we can still chat about the weather or complain about Mondays instead! ☀️😩”

  • I don’t like how monkeys have taken ownership of the whole banana thing. I bet I like bananas almost as much as they do.

    Commentary:
    “Bananas: the fruit that drove a rift between humans and monkeys, creating a banana battle of epic proportions! 🍌🙉 Who will emerge victorious in this fruity feud? Stay tuned for the next episode of ‘Banana Wars’!”

  • Found a picture of me sitting on Santa’s lap. Hard to believe it’s been a whole year.

    Commentary:
    🎅📸 “Looks like Santa’s lap isn’t just for kids anymore! 🤭 Time flies when you’re having fun, or maybe when you’re on the naughty list… 😜🎄 #SantaSelfies #WhereDidTheTimeGo”

  • Changed my bio on bumble to “I’m gonna murder ur whole family” and guys still responded.

    Commentary:
    Well, talk about standing out from the crowd on Bumble! 🦹‍♂️ Who knew a dark sense of humor could attract so much attention? 👀 Remember, it’s all fun and games until someone brings a chainsaw to the first date! 🔪😂 Just another day in the unpredictable world of online dating! 📱💔

  • Just a reminder that with Die Hard, Robin Hood and Love Actually, ‘Alan Rickman ruins Christmas’ is a whole movie subgenre.

    Commentary:
    🎬🎄”Forget about the Grinch stealing Christmas, Alan Rickman seems to be the one wreaking havoc on the holiday season with his legendary performances! Move over, Santa, it’s Alan’s time to shine and ruin Christmas in style with his range of iconic characters. ‘Tis the season for Alan Rickman to steal the show and your Christmas cheer!” 🌟😂

  • I bet the kids in Mrs. Doubtfire were surprised when found out their nanny was famous actor Robin Williams the whole time.

    Commentary:
    I can only imagine the kids’ reaction when they learned the truth! 🤯 It must have been like discovering your sandwich has a secret side of truffle fries – unexpected and totally amazing! 🍟🤵 Let’s hope they gave “Mrs. Doubtfire” a five-star rating on their nanny app! 😉

  • When you decorate your whole house for Christmas, what you’re really saying is “I’m not going to dust for at least a month.”

    Commentary:
    Oh, the hidden truth behind Christmas decorations! 🎄✨ Decking the halls while conveniently ignoring the dust bunnies – now that’s the holiday spirit! 🎅🏼✨ Just add a bit of glitter, and no one will even notice the neglected cleaning duties! ✨🎁✨

  • Jennifer Lopez and Ben Affleck got engaged, broke up, married other people, had children, reunited, got married, broke up again, and I’ve been single that whole time.

    Commentary:
    “Jennifer Lopez and Ben Affleck’s relationship timeline resembles a rollercoaster ride 🎢, while my love life has been more like a never-ending carousel 🎠 – going around in circles, but never quite getting anywhere! 🙃 #SingleLife”

  • Jan 1st: Avocado on whole grain toast with a protein shake. Jan 20th: Syrup comes from a tree so technically it’s a vegetable.

    Commentary:
    “From ‘I’m starting the year healthy and strong!’ to ‘Syrup = Vegetable logic level: expert’ in just 20 days 🥑🍁🥞 #NewYearResolutionsGoneWild”

  • Where do I sign up to be one of those influencers with 2M followers whose whole thing is just standing in front of other people’s content and nodding?

    Commentary:
    “Sign me up for the ‘Professional Nodder’ position!🙋‍♂️💼 Just imagine getting paid to perfect the art of nodding approvingly in front of someone else’s hard work. Who needs originality anyway when you’ve got 2M followers nodding along with you?😂👏 #NoddingInfluence”

For even more funny whole quotes, check out the next page, if available 👇

All funny whole quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Advertisement

Trending Topics

activity communication day family food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me need parenting people procrastination relationship sarcasm sleep social someone technology think time want work