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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇽 has viewed:

Now that I have a standing desk, I’m adding manual labor to my resume.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has bookmarked:

“You’re a flirt!” God forbid a girl has good communication skills.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has bookmarked:

The ugliest version of me is the version that comes out when I play board games. I don’t know who she is, but she is a monster. She is not fit for human interaction.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has copied:

I only go for nature walks with people I can outrun.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has viewed:

Blocking someone isn’t enough, I want them to get lice.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has shared:

Kids today will never understand how many ninjas there were in the 1980s.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has copied:

Women are like a fitted sheet. No matter what you do or how hard you try, they just never seem to cooperate.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has downloaded:

I’m a bit of a traditionalist, so on my birthday, I smear my body with embryonic fluid.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has bookmarked:

Sorry for zoning out, bro. It’s just, I’ve been having a bad day for several years.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has downloaded:

Sex is cool, but have you ever had garlic bread?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

676 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

4,049

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

People on diet aren’t mad at you. They’re mad at their lunch.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

If there’s ever an alien invasion, I hope it doesn’t start while I’m asleep. I hate being woken up before my alarm.

Spotted on Discord:

There are only two kinds of people, and I avoid them both.

Just landed via WeChat:

The world is my oyster and I’m allergic to shellfish.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

I can melt an ice cube just by staring at it. It takes a while, but I can do it.

Trending via Facebook:

A late person is never happier than when the person they’re meeting is later than them.

Just landed via Threads:

Mind if I crawl into your DMs and stay there for a while?

Just shared via Instagram:

Being an adult means your pain never goes away, it just migrates to a new location in your body.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

Unmarried in your 30s should honestly be rebranded as – ‘Congrats, you didn’t pick the wrong person out of panic’.

Live now on Telegram:

This Monday could have been an email.

237 Funny why quotes

More funny why quotes 👇

Why touch grass when you can touch ass?

0

3 weeks ago

ass, cheeky, grass, humor, playful, slang, touch, why
Why would a needle be in a haystack, anyway?

0

4 weeks ago

confusion, haystack, humor, irony, needle, question, why
“Why do I feel like shit all the time?” I ask myself, while staring into the flashlight that tells me bad news.

0

1 month ago

ask, bad, bad news, feel, feeling, feeling bad, flashlight, health, humor, i, introspection, me, mood, myself, news, question, sarcastic, self-reflection, shit, staring, time, while, why
Why does everyone force introverts to leave their comfort zone, but no one forces extroverts to shut up for a while?

0

1 month ago

comfort, comfort zone, communication, everyone, extrovert, force, humor, interaction, introvert, leave, personality, shut, silence, social, social interaction, while, why, zone
Being in your 20s is crazy because, why did you stay with someone you were that incompatible with for that long?

0

1 month ago

20s, adult, being, crazy, dating, humor, incompatibility, life, love, love life, reflection, relationship, someone, stay, twenty, why, young, young adult
Interviewer: Why do you want to work in customer service? Me: Well, I’m really good at apologizing for things that aren’t my fault.

0

2 months ago

apology, communication, customer, customer service, fault, good, humor, interview, interviewer, job, job interview, me, sarcasm, service, skills, things, want, well, why, work, work skills
Not everyone realizes this, but if you clean the pile of receipts out of a purse and stack them together, it makes a teeny tiny book about why you’re broke.

0

2 months ago

book, broke, budget, clean, cleaning, everyone, financial, humor, money, pile, purse, receipt, spending, tiny, together, why
Now I get why my grandma got up early to have a little coffee by herself.

0

2 months ago

coffee, early, early riser, got, grandma, humor, i, little, morning, riser, solitude, why
Family Guy is so insane because, why were people dating that dog?

0

2 months ago

animation, dating, dog, family, Family Guy, guy, humor, insane, people, show, TV, TV Show, why
“Why would I lie to you?” I don’t know, maybe because you’re a liar.

0

2 months ago

contradiction, honesty, humor, i, know, liar, lie, maybe, sarcasm, why

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🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

85 shares on Slack this month:

I’m not drunk enough for this Teams meeting.

71 shares on Slack this month:

Technically, all the money I have ever spent on food has been flushed down the toilet.

29 shares on Slack this month:

You’re never alone. There’s mold.

71 shares on Instagram this month:

I have found that there is usually a lot of day left at the end of my patience.

55 shares on X this month:

It is kind of inspiring that I messed up my life without drugs, gambling or a troubled youth. People really can do anything.

47 shares on WeChat this month:

My new phone is being delivered by Amazon, which means that I can track its movements for a day before it tracks mine for five years.

56 shares on Facebook this month:

Date idea: you tell me every thought you’ve ever had about me.

66 shares on Instagram this month:

People say “I would never,” then here they come nevering like they never nevered before.

45 shares on Snapchat this month:

Probably the most humiliating thing that can happen when you die is that you come back as a fitted-sheet ghost.

51 shares on Instagram this month:

HR has told me to stop saying ‘How stupid can you be?’ to members of staff. They’re worried it’s being taken as a challenge.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇷🇸 has viewed:

I hope we’re good friends until we die, then I hope we can stay ghost friends, walk through walls and scare people.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has downloaded:

Babe, would it kill you to meow back?

Someone from 🇬🇳 has shared:

Honestly, I don’t think I have any more new passwords left in me. You wanna steal my identity? Go ahead, I hope you enjoy debt and terrible posture.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has bookmarked:

Welcome to middle age. You now take pictures of instructions so you can enlarge them.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has downloaded:

You are depressed because your ancestors fought, danced, and ate meals together, and you eat alone in the dark while staring at a glowing rectangle.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has bookmarked:

I like listening to music in languages I don’t speak because sometimes I just don’t wanna know what anybody is talking about.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has bookmarked:

All the clouds have come out to play today.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has bookmarked:

So you like bad boys? Cause I’m bad at everything.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has downloaded:

I told my wife to embrace her mistakes. She gave me a hug.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has bookmarked:

A haunted house but in every room someone is asking you to say a little something about yourself.

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on Instagram:

Striking gold in your 40s: finding a close parking spot that’s in the shade on a hot summer day.

Shared recently on Messenger:

If you’re late for work, don’t forget to look mad when you walk in.

Going viral on WeChat:

I firmly believe that at this point my guardian angel is just eating popcorn and watching the drama.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

If kids these days had a perfume, it would be called Audacity.

Going bananas on WeChat:

We can put a man on the moon but we can’t find a good way to drink wine from a lying down position.

Live now on Messenger:

Flour company: What if we sell it in a paper bag that’s not fully sealed at the bottom?

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

Deleting the paragraph you wrote and texting back “ok” is a different type of self-control.

Making waves on Threads:

Don’t let the British accent fool you. I’m not saying anything smart.

Going viral on YouTube:

Getting old would be so fun if you didn’t wake up each morning with neck pain that suggests you slept hanging upside down like a bat.

Making waves on Discord:

“It’s bikini season,” I whisper, eating another bikini.

Activity Log ✨

237 Funny why quotes

More funny why quotes 👇

All funny why quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨