Wordgag 🎅

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇷 has copied:

Playing Mortal Kombat at an arcade in the 90’s would fix me.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has bookmarked:

I haven’t even gone to bed yet and I already can’t wait to get home from work tomorrow.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has downloaded:

Everything is about sex except Thanksgiving. Thanksgiving is about power.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has bookmarked:

Bird flu? Yeah, they’re known to do that.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has shared:

The worst person you know is studying psychology.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has shared:

Not to brag, but what a time to be childless.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has shared:

My grandad fought Germans on the beaches of Normandy. This was last summer and it was very embarrassing.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has bookmarked:

If I could do it all over again, I would ruin my life differently. I have new ideas.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has downloaded:

I miss them days if you couldn’t rap, you didn’t.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has downloaded:

Call me a glitch, cause I’m definitely messing with your system.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

508 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,101

Funny Quotes Topics

17,252

Funny Quotes Images

15,101

Updated

Dec 23, 2025

Users Online

3,659

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via Slack:

I hate that moment when you are tired and sleepy but as soon as you go to bed your body is like “just kidding.”

Going viral on Discord:

Female dragonflies will fake their own deaths to avoid mating with unwanted males. They are like, “Ugh, here comes Carl again. Play dead, girl!“

Trending via TikTok:

“I asked ChatGPT,” “I asked Grok,” yeah, well, I wipe away the hours conversing with the flowers.

Seen just now on Twitch:

If someone drunk texts you, appreciate it. They’ve thought of you when they can barely think straight.

Trending via Pinterest:

Got fired from my job at the zoo because I kept trying to wax the turtles.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

I no longer need an alarm clock because I’m over 40 and have a bladder.

Shared recently on Facebook:

“Communism sounds good in theory, but doesn’t work in practice.” Capitalism doesn’t even sound good in theory.

Social Media Stars ⭐

68 shares on X this month:

Diet tip: Your pants can’t get too tight if you never wear any.

49 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I know it hurts like hell, and you don’t think you can do it, but it’s just one push-up.

54 shares on Slack this month:

My wallet is empty, just like my soul.

94 shares on Facebook this month:

My milkshakes bring all the bots to the yard.

68 shares on Instagram this month:

Would pay $10 a month for Summer Premium Package without wasps.

19 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Bringing a fitted sheet to a knife fight.

99 shares on YouTube this month:

You may think no one is there for you, but there’s laundry. Laundry is always there for you.

59 shares on Messenger this month:

My mom asked me where I’m taking her to eat on Mother’s Day. I told her we have food at home.

88 shares on YouTube this month:

Sure, I could keep my thoughts to myself but I can’t see “Likes” in my journal.

62 shares on Twitch this month:

Sometimes I can’t tell if I’m in preschool or school… Oh wait, I’m at work.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇺🇸 has shared:

Coffee should be free for everyone Monday through Friday.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has bookmarked:

Reoccurring dreams be like: ‘I dunno, here’s a rerun’

Someone from 🇭🇺 has copied:

Notifications are a reminder that you exist.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has viewed:

I might start telling people I’m 10 years older than I actually am just so they can tell me how great I look for my age.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has downloaded:

Grab your own butt! Love yourself!

Someone from 🇱🇺 has downloaded:

The only squat I’m even considering doing today is diddly.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has downloaded:

Don’t you hate it when you offer help and the other person says yes?

Someone from 🇲🇾 has shared:

Mad that so many renaissance artists were named after ninja turtles.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has shared:

Sorry, I wasn’t really listening but that’s awesome, unless it isn’t of course.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has shared:

I would rather walk directly into the ocean than tell people a fun fact about myself.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on X:

I got a raise! On my meds dosage. But still.

Just shared via Snapchat:

Not to be dramatic, but learning how to read has ruined my life.

Spreading quickly via LinkedIn:

Aliens probably lock their doors when they fly past Earth.

Spreading quickly via Instagram:

Rewatching my story every time somebody heart it to see what they see.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

The best part about filling out doctor appointment forms online is when you get there and they say “hello, please fill out these forms!”

Freshly posted on X:

Back then, my parents were afraid of what I would do on the Internet. Today, I’m afraid of what my parents do on the Internet.

Breaking via Twitch:

Girl cats get named after ancient goddesses and boy cats get named after Taco Bell menu items.

Going viral on Slack:

Americans can choose from over 1,000 breakfast cereals but only two presidential candidates?

Trending via WeChat:

It’s cool that women want me, but it makes me sad that fish fear me.

Going viral on Messenger:

No one is shocked when a defibrillator doesn’t work.

Wordgag 🎅

Activity Log ✨

Every time I leave the house, I’m reminded why sweatpants exist.

All strapless bras need to be taken off the shelves. A total recall. We do not have the technology yet.

One day my sanity went out for smokes and never came back.

Had the bed all to myself last night, so you know what that means… I slept in a slightly different spot, and now my neck feels weird.

Relationship status: the black mold in my shower thinks I’m cute.

Just got revenge on someone who wronged me many, many years ago. Never relax, I’m coming.

Putting a baby on board sticker on my car because other drivers have a right to know who they’re dealing with behind the wheel.

I exaggerated on my job application and said I wanted to work for a living.

I have an addiction to pattern recognition.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨