15 Funny across quotes — Wordgag ツ

I would rather walk barefoot across a carpet made out of Legos than go to my high school reunion.

3 months ago3 months ago

Airports are so funny. Like, “Oh, you’re flying across the country? Would you like to hang out in a mall first?”

4 months ago4 months ago

Current relationship status: sleeping diagonally across the bed.

4 months ago4 months ago

Do other people remember toasters with wings flying across our computer screens or was that a fever dream I just had?

Mar 21, 2025Mar 21, 2025

My car spider built a web across my steering wheel and now I can’t go anywhere.

Jan 29, 2025

Me: I’ve always wanted to stare at someone from across the street then disappear when a bus passes. Interviewer: I meant more like “professional goals”.

Jan 27, 2025

So a baby crawls across the floor to it’s bottle and it’s cute but when I do it Im in need of an intervention?

Jan 26, 2025

Decorated the house across the street so I can look out the window and enjoy my handiwork.

Jan 25, 2025

Probably the worst thing you can do when your wife gives you a disapproving look from across the room for being on your phone is finish typing this.

Jan 24, 2025

Just saw a bird run across the street if you were wondering if anyone else is wasting their gifts.

Jan 24, 2025

Needs to be a Google Maps setting where you can ask them not to make you take a left across four lanes of oncoming traffic.

Jan 23, 2025

I just came across my wife’s Tinder profile and I’m so angry about her lies. She is not “fun to be around”.

Jan 23, 2025

Sorry, can’t. I took my bra off and threw it across the room an hour ago. There’s no coming back from that.

Jan 23, 2025

My favorite part about being sick is when you sneeze with a cough drop in your mouth and it launches across the room like a cruise missile.

Jan 23, 2025

If you’re going to stare all night and not say hello, do you mind taking your fingers and squishing my head from across the room?

Jan 23, 2025