18 funny across quotes - Wordgag ツ

Reading a book and coming across a character’s name that you don’t know how to pronounce, so for the rest of the book, every time you see it, your brain just goes ‘skdjfkskakfk.’

Feb 3, 2026

If I had a tiny girlfriend, I would love to throw her across gaps so she can pull levers and open doors that get me to her part of the level.

Feb 3, 2026

I would rather walk barefoot across a carpet made out of Legos than go to my high school reunion.

Feb 1, 2026

Airports are so funny. Like, “Oh, you’re flying across the country? Would you like to hang out in a mall first?”

Jan 31, 2026

Current relationship status: sleeping diagonally across the bed.

Jan 31, 2026

Do other people remember toasters with wings flying across our computer screens or was that a fever dream I just had?

Jan 31, 2026

My car spider built a web across my steering wheel and now I can’t go anywhere.

Jan 29, 2026

Me: I’ve always wanted to stare at someone from across the street then disappear when a bus passes. Interviewer: I meant more like “professional goals”.

Jan 28, 2026

So a baby crawls across the floor to it’s bottle and it’s cute but when I do it Im in need of an intervention?

Jan 23, 2026

Decorated the house across the street so I can look out the window and enjoy my handiwork.

Jan 22, 2026

Probably the worst thing you can do when your wife gives you a disapproving look from across the room for being on your phone is finish typing this.

Jan 22, 2026

Just saw a bird run across the street if you were wondering if anyone else is wasting their gifts.

Jan 22, 2026

Needs to be a Google Maps setting where you can ask them not to make you take a left across four lanes of oncoming traffic.

Jan 22, 2026

I just came across my wife’s Tinder profile and I’m so angry about her lies. She is not “fun to be around”.

Jan 21, 2026

Sorry, can’t. I took my bra off and threw it across the room an hour ago. There’s no coming back from that.

Jan 21, 2026

My favorite part about being sick is when you sneeze with a cough drop in your mouth and it launches across the room like a cruise missile.

Jan 21, 2026

If you’re going to stare all night and not say hello, do you mind taking your fingers and squishing my head from across the room?

Jan 21, 2026

Monday is already sending me threatening glances from across the room.

Jan 19, 2026