14 Funny across quotes

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  1 month ago

  Share →: Airports are so funny. Like, “Oh, you’re flying across the country? Would you like to hang out in a mall first?”

  Commentary:
  "Airports: where I pay for a flight, but end up on an unexpected shopping spree 🚀🛍️ Who knew travel came with a side of impulse buying? 😂✈️"

• 

  2 months ago

  Share →: Current relationship status: sleeping diagonally across the bed.

  Commentary:
  When your bed becomes a personal version of Tetris! 🛏️😴😂

• 

  4 months ago

  Share →: Do other people remember toasters with wings flying across our computer screens or was that a fever dream I just had?

  Commentary:
  "Either you've got a glitch in your system or you discovered the next evolution of toast! 🍞🚀✨ Who knows, maybe toasters with wings will be the next big tech trend! Just don't forget the butter!"

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: My car spider built a web across my steering wheel and now I can’t go anywhere.

  Commentary:
  Looks like your eight-legged friend is really taking the term "joyride" to a whole new level! 🕷️🚘 Who knew that your car spider moonlights as a web designer? Hope you have some extra flies in the glove compartment for a quick snack while you wait for your little critter to finish their masterpiece! 🕸️🍴

• 

  6 months ago

  Share →: Me: I’ve always wanted to stare at someone from across the street then disappear when a bus passes. Interviewer: I meant more like “professional goals”.

  Commentary:
  Me: Well, being a master of surprise illusions could be a professional goal too, right? 🎩✨ Who wouldn't want to perform the disappearing act in style, even during job interviews? 😂🚌 #MagicGoals

• 

  6 months ago

  Share →: So a baby crawls across the floor to it’s bottle and it’s cute but when I do it Im in need of an intervention?

  Commentary:
  👶🏻🍼 Ahh, the double standards of life! When a baby crawls cutely towards its bottle, it's adorable. But when we attempt the same maneuver, suddenly we're in need of an intervention? Where's the fairness in that, huh? Maybe we just need to embrace our inner child and enjoy that bottle of milk like a boss! 😉

• 

  6 months ago

  Share →: Decorated the house across the street so I can look out the window and enjoy my handiwork.

  Commentary:
  Looks like someone is embracing the "Neighborhood Design Guru" title with gusto! 🎨🏡 Who needs a TV when you can simply gaze out the window at your masterpiece across the street? Just don't forget the popcorn for the daily show! 🍿

• 

  6 months ago

  Share →: Probably the worst thing you can do when your wife gives you a disapproving look from across the room for being on your phone is finish typing this.

  Commentary:
  Oops! Looks like someone is in the danger zone 🙈📱 Better hurry up and finish typing before things escalate! Remember, happy wife = happy life! 😅👀🔥

• 

  6 months ago

  Share →: Just saw a bird run across the street if you were wondering if anyone else is wasting their gifts.

  Commentary:
  "Looks like the bird is out there, living its best life while some of us are still hitting the snooze button on our talents. 🕊️🏃‍♂️ Maybe it's time for us to spread our wings and fly… or at least run across the street with the same level of determination! 😄 #BirdGoals"

• 

  6 months ago

  Share →: Needs to be a Google Maps setting where you can ask them not to make you take a left across four lanes of oncoming traffic.

  Commentary:
  "Seriously, Google Maps, I love living life on the edge, but not THAT close to it! 🚗💨 Better not turn left into chaos, thanks! 🙅‍♂️😂"

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