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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇸🇹 has viewed:

Willem Dafoe gets to be in two different Nosferatu movies, whereas the average person doesn’t even get to be in one.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has viewed:

Today I bought a doughnut without sprinkles. This diet thing is hard.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has copied:

Nobody shoots annoying people into the sun anymore and that’s why there are so many of them left on earth.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has viewed:

Cheating on a partner should affect your credit score.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has copied:

Sometimes the universe puts you in the same situations again to see if you’re still an idiot.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has downloaded:

Not being able to fall asleep is so embarrassing. All I’m asking my brain to do is nothing and it can’t even do that?

Someone from 🇸🇮 has copied:

I think that McDonalds is putting an unhealthy amount of lettuce in the Big Macs these days.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has downloaded:

Home is where you can walk around like a bum.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has viewed:

Beware. There are people in the grocery store that you know who want to chat with you. Stay vigilant.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has copied:

I was at the cemetery when a little kid walked up to me and said she was afraid. I took her hand and told her that I used to be afraid too… when I was alive.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

814 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,976

Funny Quotes Topics

13,917

Funny Quotes Images

10,976

Updated

18 minutes ago

Users Online

3,417

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

I feel like a wildlife photographer when I spend hours trying to capture my teenager’s smile.

Just shared via X:

Why can’t my career pursue me instead?

Just landed via Discord:

Grocery shopping before Christmas is a nightmare. My milk expired while I was waiting in line.

Spotted on YouTube:

Big decision to make? Sleep on it. Have a nightmare. Then you’ll be operating on pure adrenaline and will choose more quickly.

Shared recently on Instagram:

Not all angels are in heaven, me for example, I’m at work.

Freshly posted on Slack:

They should invent a body that doesn’t keep the score.

Just shared via YouTube:

My body looks like I have a great personality.

Breaking via WhatsApp:

There’s a guy who thinks he’s going to Yale, but it’s jail.

Just shared via YouTube:

I will not stop replying with gifs. I am a Millennial, it’s my birthright.

Spotted on Messenger:

The hottest thing a man can be is boring in his 30s.

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

814 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,976

Funny Quotes Topics

13,917

Funny Quotes Images

10,976

Updated

18 minutes ago

Users Online

3,443

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇩 has viewed:

Any room can be an escape room when you have diarrhea.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has copied:

Girls will be like “I have so much to do” then grab some snacks and start watching a 10 part docuseries on serial killers.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has bookmarked:

Cinderella was a mess. I mean, I have bad taste in men, but at least I never settled for a guy who couldn’t remember what my face looked like.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has viewed:

I was dismayed to hear the story of Rumpelstiltskin. I had no idea he was like that outside of work.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has viewed:

Rom-com idea: Gozilla +1. Godzilla gets invited to a wedding but struggles to convince anyone to go with him.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has viewed:

Deleting my mental health to focus on social media.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has downloaded:

Roses are red. Pizza sauce is too. I ordered a large. And none of it’s for you.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has shared:

It sucks when you have to stand on an escalator for 30 minutes because of a power cut.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has bookmarked:

I bet the person who named the fireplace also named the waterfall.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has downloaded:

Getting left on read really gives me perspective on what Nigerian princes go through.

Social Media Log 💫

Reported on Reddit:

Women are able to leave the country unexpectedly at any time with the contents of their handbag.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

Gonorrhea would’ve been a great name for diarrhea medicine.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

Harry Potter is sort of crazy. I would have never fought a war for my high school.

Just landed via X:

I always thought orthopaedic shoes were overrated, but I stand corrected.

Shared recently on Facebook:

If swimming is such good exercise, explain whales.

Shared recently on Telegram:

I spend half the day wondering if it’s too late for coffee and the other half wondering if it’s too early for alcohol.

Just landed via Twitch:

Whenever someone asks me if my dog is adopted I respond with, “no, she’s biologically mine.”

Just shared via Telegram:

You should always wash your sheets once a week in case they are really ghosts and need a shower.

Just landed via TikTok:

When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, that’s amore. When you swim in the sea and an eel bites your knee, that’s a moray.

Seen just now on X:

If you love something, set it free. If it comes back to you, then you love a boomerang.

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