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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇳 has shared:

Alcohol is actually a performance-enhancing drug, but you’re not gonna like the performance.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has downloaded:

Whoever said it was okay to let your pets sleep in your bed, thanks a lot, now my goldfish is dead.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has viewed:

I suck at flirting, I end up arguing with them instead.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has copied:

You should be able to call in sad to work.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has copied:

Diet hack: Spend your money filling up your gas tank so you won’t have money for groceries.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has downloaded:

Nothing betrays your age more than the slang you won’t let go of.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has copied:

The recipe I’m making specifically says allow to cook undisturbed, and yet my whole family is standing in the kitchen.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has bookmarked:

Not to brag, but I just walked upstairs and remembered why.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has viewed:

The dopamine hit of getting an Outlook meeting cancellation is unrivaled.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has copied:

Turns out my superpower is the ability to go into incredible detail in completely the wrong direction.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

816 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,978

Funny Quotes Topics

13,919

Funny Quotes Images

10,978

40 minutes ago

3,420

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Snapchat:

They should have a section on the wing of the plane where people can go out for a cigarette.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

Concert tickets should be 75% off if the artist is really super special to you.

Just shared via Facebook:

Unless you’re dead wearing a sheet, you got no business ghosting people.

Just landed via Slack:

“You look tired.” Yes, bro, I stayed up all night obsessing over things I have no control over.

Live now on WeChat:

Not to brag, but I can trip over things that aren’t even there!

Spreading quickly via TikTok:

The tag on my jeans says “Relaxed” so it obviously doesn’t have children.

Trending via Twitch:

Getting left on read really gives me perspective on what Nigerian princes go through.

Shared recently on Instagram:

Don’t worry, better days are coming. They are called Friday, Saturday and Sunday.

Just shared via Instagram:

I’ll marry the person who can go to a family event with me and still like me afterward.

Going viral on Messenger:

Your eyes water when you yawn because you miss your bed and it makes you sad.

Home » Funny Anyone Quotes » Page 3

30 Funny anyone quotes

More funny anyone quotes 👇

2 months ago
Share →: Sometimes a girl has to delete all the apps on her phone and not speak to anyone for a week to find true happiness.

Commentary:
"BRB, deleting my phone… if you don't hear from me soon, I've found Nirvana! 📵😂🧘‍♀️"
2 months ago
Share →: I’m going to sleep. Anyone want anything?

Commentary:
"Yes, I'd love a slice of 'peace of mind' and don't forget the bedtime snack! 💤😴🍪"
3 months ago
Share →: I love sleeping. You don’t spend any money and you don’t miss anyone.

Commentary:
"Sleeping: the ultimate budget-friendly and drama-free activity! 💤💸 No need for expensive outings or heart-to-heart conversations while in dreamland. Who needs reality when you have a cozy bed and the promise of zero social obligations?"
3 months ago
Share →: I’ll never tell anyone your secret because that would mean talking to people.

Commentary:
"Keeping your secret safe because let's face it, human interaction is overrated anyway! 🤐🙊 #AntiSocialGoals"
3 months ago
Share →: My hobbies include trying to close the elevator doors before anyone else gets on.

Commentary:
"Ah, the thrill of the elevator door dance! The perfect blend of strategy, speed, and a dash of mischief. 🕺💨 Who knew such a mundane task could become a competitive sport? Just remember, timing is key, and victory tastes sweeter with an empty elevator ride! 😄🚪 #ElevatorGames"
4 months ago
Share →: I’ve never seen a Cybertruck with anyone in the passenger seat.

Commentary:
Looks like the passenger seat in a Cybertruck is reserved exclusively for Elon Musk's ego! 🚗👤 #LonelyRide
4 months ago
Share →: If I ever win the lottery and decide to invest in a billboard company, I won’t tell anyone; but there will be signs.

Commentary:
🤣💸 "If I hit the jackpot and go into the billboard business, it'll be the best-kept secret… but the signs will spill the beans! Talk about a silent yet loud financial flex! 💰🔥 #MoneyTalks #BillboardWhisperer" 🏆
5 months ago
Share →: In case anyone hasn’t told you today, I’m beautiful.

Commentary:
Well, in case you missed the memo, let me remind you, I'm beautiful! 💁‍♀️✨ Who says self-praise isn't allowed? Just remember, confidence is key! 🌟 #SelfLoveGoals
5 months ago
Share →: Does anyone else feel like their brain has a hundred tabs open at once?

Commentary:
"Feeling like your brain is a browser with a hundred tabs open? 🧠💻 Welcome to the chaotic world of multitasking where every tab seems to be playing a different sitcom episode! 🤪 Remember to save your progress before your brain crashes! 😂 #MultitaskingMadness"
5 months ago
Share →: Me leaving the house: I hope I don’t see anyone.

Commentary:
"Me leaving the house: I hope I don't see anyone… *immediately bumps into neighbor, ex, and that person I owe money to* 😅🙈 #OutAndAboutDrama"

For even more funny anyone quotes, check out the next page, if available 👇

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

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Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

816 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,978

Funny Quotes Topics

13,919

Funny Quotes Images

10,978

40 minutes ago

3,440

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇭 has viewed:

Not now, honey. I’m talking to strangers on the internet.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has bookmarked:

Gonna mess with my husband by texting “send nudes” when he’s in a work meeting.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has copied:

Common sense is like deodorant. The people who need it most never use it.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has shared:

Cursing after hitting oneself can reduce the pain by up to 50%.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has viewed:

Experts say that human interaction is important for brain health but I’m willing to risk it.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has downloaded:

Keep your friend’s toast and your enemy’s toaster.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has downloaded:

My brain logged me out due to inactivity, and I can’t remember the password.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has viewed:

When people say something is cray-cray it makes me wanna vom-vom.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has copied:

Lucky for me, I don’t have enough friends for an intervention.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has viewed:

The more you embrace your crazy side, the more fun life becomes.

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on Messenger:

I like online shopping and putting everything I want in a cart, then checking my subtotal and laughing and closing the tab.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

The concept of dominant hands is hilarious to me. That one of our hands is just like, “No, I’m not helping.”

Trending via LinkedIn:

I was always told to eat all my food so that I’d grow to be big and strong. When exactly does the strong part kick in?

Breaking via X:

If you ask him what he admires most about a woman and he says brains, you’ve got yourself a zombie.

Shared recently on WeChat:

I could never give up my dog, he knows too much.

Making waves on Instagram:

I have noticed something quite worrying: after I buy more things I have less money.

Just shared via Pinterest:

You seem really unhinged, we should grab coffee sometime.

Shared recently on Slack:

Seriously, how sexy was Freud’s mom?

Shared recently on Threads:

Why would I take the high road when I could take the psychopath?

Going viral on Snapchat:

A diamond is forever, and so is my teen’s grudge against me for some random stuff every other day.

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