79 Funny anything quotes

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  5 months ago

  Share →: Objection your honor, if the prosecutor doesn’t have anything nice to say then he shouldn’t say anything at all.

  Commentary:
  "Objection, Your Honor! Is the prosecutor auditioning for a spot in 'The Silence of the Courts' movie? 🤐 Let's keep the courtroom drama to a minimum and the compliments to a maximum, shall we? 😉⚖️ #LegalLipService"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: I use subtitles so if I learn anything interesting I can say “I was reading about” instead of “I saw on an episode of Love Island”

  Commentary:
  "Using subtitles not only enhances your language skills but also upgrades your intellectual repartee level! 📺📚 Who knew Love Island could be a source of enlightenment? Keep impressing everyone with your 'I was reading about' moments! 🤓✨"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: I’m a “I have an appointment later, so I can’t do anything else for the rest of the day” kind of person.

  Commentary:
  "Ah, the classic 'I have an appointment' excuse strikes again! 💁‍♂️ Who knew appointments were the ultimate productivity repellant? 🤣 Time to sit back, relax, and wait for that elusive appointment to magically make us busy all day! 🕰️✨"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: I deliberately don’t go to bed early. I don’t want to look like I could be useful for anything the next day.

  Commentary:
  "Who needs productivity when you can have a flawless excuse for sleeping in? 😂 Keep dodging responsibilities like a pro, because who wants to be useful, right? 🛌💤 #SleepIsLife"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: Wisdom of the day: Don’t do anything you don’t want to explain to the paramedic.

  Commentary:
  "Wisdom of the day: Think twice before attempting that risky stunt you saw on YouTube… 🤔 Remember, paramedics are professionals, not mind readers! 🚑😄 #BetterSafeThanSorry"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: Signatures are so unserious, just “pinky promise” for adults. Write your name in a silly little way on this very important piece of paper so we that we can send you to jail if you do anything wrong.

  Commentary:
  Ah, the art of signatures – where doodles and scribbles hold the power to determine our fate! 🤝✍️ It's like a sophisticated "pinky promise" for grown-ups, ensuring that we behave ourselves or face the consequences. Remember, even the most fancy and flourishy signature can't save you from the long arm of the law! 😉🖋️ #SignatureStruggles

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  5 months ago

  Share →: I wish I loved anything as much as people love to say they are “thrilled” on LinkedIn.

  Commentary:
  Ah, the eternal quest for true passion – a journey as elusive as finding the perfect LinkedIn profile picture! 🤣 Maybe one day we'll all be "thrilled" to update our skills section too! #LinkedInStruggles

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  5 months ago

  Share →: One week without chocolate. I can no longer hear anything in my left eye.

  Commentary:
  "One week without chocolate and suddenly everything sounds a bit 'nutty' in your left eye? 😜🍫 Don't worry, that sweet fix is just around the corner! 😉 #ChocoholicProblems"

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: I’m so unpopular at school they call me “Batteries”. I’m never included in anything.

  Commentary:
  Looks like you're operating on a whole different energy level – literally! 🔋 Don't worry, sometimes it's better to stand out than to blend in like rechargeable batteries in a junk drawer. Embrace your uniqueness and shine bright like a Duracell in a sea of generic brands! 💡😄

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