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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇩🇿 has copied:

My favorite part of parenting is when the kids are bored enough to entertain themselves, but getting to that point is excruciating.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has viewed:

I’ve been blocked by better.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has copied:

I can’t believe I slept good all night. What a rush.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has copied:

If you were the birthday gift I bought my daughter 3 months ago, where would you be hiding?

Someone from 🇲🇨 has shared:

Always be kind. You never know who might own a jacuzzi.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has bookmarked:

We all need to put the phone down, or it’s over for civilization.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has bookmarked:

Whatever you do today, do it with the confidence of a 4-year old wearing a Batman cape.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has viewed:

There’s a certain nothing about you.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has viewed:

Can everyone please turn their A/C off during the day, we need that power to generate images of people with eight fingers.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has shared:

I’d be really slim if it wasn’t for birthdays, anniversaries, Easter, Christmas, Mother’s Day, weekends and me.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 19, 2026

Users Online

3,265

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Slack:

My superpower is embarrassing myself.

Just shared via Slack:

I can now tell the hour of the day by which part of my body needs a heating pad.

Trending via Slack:

Made the mistake of believing what I was told again.

Spotted on Snapchat:

All I think about is death and sex.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

Curly fries are my favorite as they’re salty and spiraling, like me.

Shared recently on Threads:

Good morning, did you have a nice weekend? I ask my many open work tabs.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

I like my coffee so strong that it wakes up the neighbors.

Spotted on Twitch:

Everyone has that one friend they’ve known for years and still have no idea what they actually do for a living, but it’s too late to ask.

Live now on Snapchat:

The ideal girlfriend breaks your heart, so you go on to do great things.

Spotted on Reddit:

My door camera alerts are all just me stepping outside to see how warm it is.

77 Funny bedtime quotes

Funny bedtime quotes are here to make your nightly routine a little more entertaining! 🌙😆 From humorous takes on getting cozy and falling asleep to witty observations about bedtime rituals, these quotes bring a playful twist to your end-of-day wind-down. Whether you’re trying to get kids to bed or just looking to lighten your own bedtime mood, these funny bedtime quotes will have you chuckling as you drift off to dreamland. Sleep tight and enjoy the laughs! 😴✨

New funny bedtime quotes 👇

For even more funny bedtime quotes, hit next 👇

All funny bedtime quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections
✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

14 shares on X this month:

I think the real reason this generation is so angry is that their music sucks.

69 shares on WhatsApp this month:

So single the neighborhood cats make ME dinner.

93 shares on WeChat this month:

In your 20s and 30s, you’ll start rediscovering the niche interests and hobbies you had as a kid. It’s very important you revisit them. Your younger self was actually on to something.

51 shares on Messenger this month:

The first sin in the Bible was eating an apple. The second was murder. That escalated quickly.

24 shares on X this month:

Mothers will invent chores just to be mad you’re not doing them too.

20 shares on X this month:

AirPods are hungry for earwax. It’s your job to feed them.

53 shares on Snapchat this month:

Every time we try to eat healthy, along comes Christmas, Easter, summer, Friday, or Tuesday, and ruins it for us.

70 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I’ve spent 80% of my adult life resetting my password.

28 shares on WeChat this month:

All I’m saying is that at first I am shy and then I become a podcast.

24 shares on Pinterest this month:

My superpower? I can look you dead in the face while you’re talking and not hear a damn word you said.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

13 folks are currently checking 👀

The whole “read before you go to bed to get sleepy” thing does not apply to me because I will be up till 5 a.m. if the book is worth it.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Pretty cool that we all come together on Christmas and celebrate the birth of Santa.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Standing on a scale and thinking: so much wisdom and inner beauty can’t be light.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, that’s amore. When you swim in the sea and an eel bites your knee, that’s a moray.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

(to my executioner) I wish we had met before this. You seem cool.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

The best way to reach me is with intelligence and humor.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

I get it, drug commercials. I too like to dance while I describe all my side effects.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Cats clean themselves with their little fish breath mouths, but somehow they always smell like laundry detergent, vanilla, and happiness.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

If the apple really doesn’t fall far from the tree, my kids are screwed.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

The person opposite me has a donut. I do not have a donut. That should be my donut. This person is now my arch nemesis.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 19, 2026

Users Online

3,731

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇴 has copied:

If two witches watched two watches, which witch would watch which watch? Each witch would watch which watch belonged to which witch’s wrist.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has shared:

I mostly keep friendships going because they have my good Tupperware.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has downloaded:

The fine art of sticking my nose where it doesn’t belong.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has viewed:

Instead of working on making myself a better person, I am going to purchase a cool new jacket.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has viewed:

I identify as a weather forecast: Anything’s possible.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has viewed:

The point of life is going to a good restaurant and getting two cocktails with dinner. That’s it.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has downloaded:

Laugh all you want. My Encyclopedia Britannica set will never require WiFi.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has bookmarked:

I’ve started ripping my shirt in half like Hulk Hogan when I mean business. Long story short, I’m looking for a new job.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has viewed:

I’m not getting fatter. I’m increasing my content.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has viewed:

Do you think working at Pizza Hut would help you get a job at Sunglass Hut? You know, with all that hut experience?

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Facebook:

All soups are gazpacho if you’re lazy enough.

Just shared via Discord:

Dear Apple, at no point will I ever text someone “he’ll yeah” ..

Shared recently on TikTok:

My life goal is to make you feel as awkward or awesome as you are making me feel.

Spotted on Threads:

Dear brain, please stop thinking so much exactly when it’s time to fall asleep.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

I was going to warn my kids about the repercussions of drugs and alcohol until I realized that they in fact were the repercussions of drugs and alcohol.

Trending via Snapchat:

“Damn, you’re tight!” I whisper as I look at my monthly budget.

Shared recently on Slack:

Why touch grass when you can touch ass?

Seen just now on Twitch:

Santa doesn’t check the naughty list anymore, he just checks social media.

Making waves on TikTok:

I’m about to start telling people, “As long as that makes sense to you,” when they say shit that doesn’t make sense to me.

Seen just now on Threads:

Talking to the stars because people suck.

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