74 Funny bedtime quotes

• What did people do before alarm clocks? Just go to bed like, “Hope I wake up in time for work tomorrow.”

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  1 week ago

  alarm, alarm clock, bed, bedtime, before, clock, clocks, hope, humor, i, just, morning, morning routine, people, routine, sleep, time, tomorrow, wake, waking, waking up, work

• I lied, there’s no sex. Can you tell me a bedtime story?

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  2 weeks ago

  bedtime, bedtime story, conversation, humor, i, joke, lie, me, relationship, sex, story, tell

• The whole “read before you go to bed to get sleepy” thing does not apply to me because I will be up till 5 a.m. if the book is worth it.

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  2 weeks ago

  5, am, bed, bedtime, before, book, humor, i, insomnia, late, late night, me, night, night owl, owl, procrastination, read, reading, sleep, sleepy, thing, whole, worth

• I would do absolutely anything to get 8 hours of sleep, except for going to bed 8 hours before I need to wake up.

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  4 weeks ago

  8, absolutely, anything, bed, bedtime, before, except, exhaustion, going, hours, humor, i, irony, joke, need, procrastination, sleep, tiredness, wake

• The reason most of us stay up late is because we don’t want our free time to end, and tomorrow to start.

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  4 weeks ago

  bedtime, end, free, free time, late, management, most, night, procrastination, reason, sleep, start, stay, stay up late, time, time management, tomorrow, us, want

• When it gets past my bedtime, I get so scared.

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  4 weeks ago

  bedtime, fear, humor, i, night, past, scared, sleep

• Winter is actually awesome because if you put on a couple of movies at 5 p.m., it’s already pitch black and the evening is super long, so it feels like you’re staying up til 2 a.m., but in reality, it’s only 11 p.m. 10/10!

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  1 month ago

  2, 5, actually, am, awesome, bedtime, black, couple, cozy, evening, feels, humor, movie, night, only, perception, pitch, put, reality, staying, super, time, time perception, winter

• I hope one day I will sleep before midnight like normal humans do. Every day I sleep tomorrow, even yesterday I slept today.

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  1 month ago

  bedtime, before, day, even, every, hope, human, humans, humor, i, insomnia, management, midnight, normal, normal human, procrastination, sleep, time, time management, today, tomorrow, yesterday

• It’s not sleeping alone if there are crumbs in your bed.

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  1 month ago

  alone, bed, bedtime, crumb, crumbs, humor, joke, loneliness, sleeping, sleeping alone, snack

• My life started becoming a mess when I was put in charge of my own bedtime.

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  2 months ago

  bedtime, charge, humor, i, life, mess, own, put, responsibility, self-control

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